


The Lightning Strike

by Noturbaby



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural
Genre: Community: sncross_bigbang, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 19:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 64,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noturbaby/pseuds/Noturbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Buffy jumps into the portal in “The Gift”, she lands on a lonely stretch of Texas highway during a thunderstorm right in front of the Dean's Impala. She has no memory of who she is or where she's from.  Feeling abandoned by both Sam and John, Dean decides to take care of  her and help her find her way home. Falling for each other was not part of the plan. Neither was Willow's spell.<br/>Set (mostly) pre-series Supernatural and between seasons 5 and 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**May 21, 2001**

 

Dean sat at the table, eyes closed, praying the scene before him was just some horrible nightmare and he'd wake up any minute. Sam could not leave, not like this. To make matters worse, his father bellowed, "If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back."

Those words made Dean's eyes snap open; darting from his father to his brother when Sam shouted, "I wasn't planning on it!" Dean pushed himself up from the table as Sam grabbed his bags and stormed out; the door banging shut behind him.

"Dad!" Dean implored, but John turned away from Dean, knocking down a chair. "Dad, you can't just let him -"

Ignoring Dean, John kicked the chair out of his way, and snatched a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Go after him if you want," he growled and slammed the door as he stormed from the room.

Dean tore after his brother. He reached the top step of the porch as Sam hit the street. "Sam! Wait!"

Unlike John, Sam stopped and faced Dean. His eyes held angry tears that fell as he said, "I'm going, Dean. You can't stop me. I _have_ to go."

Dean met him on the side of the road and stood there awkwardly for a moment. "I know, I get it. But, don't leave like this. Go back in there and apologize. Make him understand."

"Apologize? For what? I don't think so, Dean. He basically just disowned me!" Sam looked passed his brother, down the road. "I can't believe you're taking his side. You know what this chance means to me!"

"I'm not taking his side, but you just dumped this on him. You didn't give him time to think about it."

"His answer would have been 'no'. I'm an adult, Dean. I can make my own decisions."

"So, you've decided to walk out on your family?"

"No, I've decided to make something of myself. Most fathers," he paused swallowing the lump in his throat. "Most fathers would be proud their son scored a full scholarship to Stanford."

"I know," Dean nodded slowly. "But, he's not most dads," he added as if that would excuse his father's actions

"Yeah, no shit." Sam looked at the ground for a minute. "I have to do this, Dean. It's my only chance." His tearful eyes met Dean's. "Dad is turning us into mindless killing machines. Do you even know how many things he's asked you to put down?"

"Sam, we're saving lives, we're helping people."

"I don't know, Dean. I gotta believe we were meant for more than this. I can't believe mom would want his life for either of us. There are other ways to help people." Unable to trust his voice, Dean nodded. "Take care of yourself, man." Sam added, then turned and walked away.

Dean felt torn. He wanted the best for his brother. He wanted the best for his family. But Dean was slowly realizing what he wanted never mattered.

John spent the night drinking until he passed out. Dean spent the night worrying. He couldn't abandon his father and go after Sam, yet, he hated the thought of Sam out there alone. Dean didn't find sleep until nearly dawn. When Dean finally woke, it was late the following morning, and he found himself in an empty house. A scribbled note informing him that his father had left for a hunt in Alabama was all Dean had to show anyone else had been there. Dean collapsed onto the closest chair. His insides aching and empty; wishing he could erase the past twenty four hours.

* * *

 

**May 22, 2001 Sunnydale, California**

 

Glory had been defeated but her evil plan was in effect, Doc had begun the ritual by cutting Dawn and causing her blood to spill. Standing on the shaky platform, Dawn turned to Buffy, her voice cracked, "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," Buffy began, but Dawn started to make her way to the end of the platform. Buffy grabbed her, "What are you doing?"

"I can end this," Dawn pleaded.

"No!" Buffy insisted.

Dawn shook her head, "I have to jump. The energy -" She looked towards the portal.

"It'll kill you!"

"I know. Buffy, I know about the ritual! I have to stop it," Dawn explained tearfully.

"No!" Buffy shouted.

"I have to! Look at what's happening!" Dawn cried

The rift opened. Buffy took hold of her sister and stared into her eyes. "I don't care! Dawn, I won't lose you -"

"You have to!" Dawn cried. "You have to let me go! Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop. You know you have to let me. It has to have the blood."

Buffy realized the drastic measure she had to take. She took a deep breath and studied her sister's face. Dawn gasped at the change in Buffy. "Buffy... no ..."

"Dawnie... I have to -" Buffy responded calmly.

"NO!" Dawn screamed at her.

Buffy shook off Dawn's reaction. "Listen to me! There's no time, Dawn, please listen." Buffy looked into Dawn's eyes. "I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me." Then, Buffy turned and ran off the edge of the platform, diving towards the ball of light and energy.

_Death is your gift_ echoed through her mind as she came to understand it's true meaning.

* * *

With only the radio to keep him company, Dean drove through the late night thunderstorm. Even though the Impala hydroplaned more than once, he didn't stop. He ignored the way the wind battered the car. The rain was so heavy the wipers weren't keeping up and he was barely able to see. Thunder and lightning were so constant he was forced to squint. But, he wouldn't stop; the car had gotten him through similar storms plenty of times and he knew there was nothing around for miles.

He was about to switch off the radio, but then "Hey Jude" began. In his memory, he was transported back in time to when he was just three and a similar storm frightened him into his mother's arms. She held him and sang that song to him. Dean smiled slightly at the memory. Suddenly, a blinding flash of lightning, followed by deafening thunder shook him from the pleasant memory. With the next flash of lightning, Dean swore something was in the road ahead. He slowed the car, but whatever it was, it was barely discernible through the rain even with the light from his headlights. However, the next near blinding flash of lightning showed Dean a body in the road.

Dean fought the elements. He slowed the Impala and skidded to a stop right before the body. For a moment, he just sat there, looking at what appeared to be a girl lying in the road. He knew there wasn't a town in any direction for several miles. The storm was still raging, but Dean had to see if the person needed help. He also knew it could be a trap. Taking a gun from the glove box, he carefully opened the car door and made his way over to the body.

Rolling the body to face him, Dean put his hand to the unconscious girl's pulse point. She was still alive and Dean couldn't see any severe injuries. However he knew he had to move her, knew he was going to have to take her to the next town. Her clothes were soaked through, so when he placed her in the passenger seat, he plucked his jacket from the backseat and wrapped it around her.

 

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

Carrying her through the doors of the small hospital Dean called out, "Could I get some help here?"

A very tired looking young man stood up from behind the desk. "What have we got there?"

"A girl. I don't know what happened to her. I found her in the middle of the highway."

The orderly tilted his head and studied the two rain drenched people. "Take her in there," he said pointing at a curtained off exam area. He returned to the desk and called the on call staff.

Dean rushed into the room and placed the girl gently on the cot. He replaced his jacket with a hospital blanket. A moment later, a young doctor and an even younger nurse walked in. "What have we got?" The doctor asked.

"I don't know. I found her unconscious," Dean answered.

The doctor and nurse exchanged looks of concern. "Why don't you wait in the hall while we take a look at her?"

Dean sat in a plastic chair in the hall across from the room. He watched the doctor check the girl's vitals and eyes. The nurse started an IV, then pulled the curtain preventing Dean from seeing anything else.

The storm continued its assault outside. The orderly tapped Dean on the shoulder and offered a cup of coffee. "What were you doing out on a night like this?"

Dean took the coffee and shrugged. "I was just passing through. If it hadn't been for the lightning, I'da run her over."

The orderly's eyes showed surprise at that and he looked at the clipboard in his hand. "Uh, so do you know who she is? Or did she have any I. D. on her?"

Dean shook his head. "She was laying in the middle of the road! I didn't check her for I. D. I only checked to see if she was breathing."

The orderly blinked a few times then sighed. "Well, I guess that means you can't fill out any of these forms, huh?"

At that moment, the doctor left the room to join them in the hall. "Well, your friend's vitals are normal. Blood sugar is a little off, she's a bit dehydrated and she's still unconscious."

"She's not his friend," the orderly interrupted. "He found her laying in the highway."

"What?" The doctor looked shocked. "Where?"

"West of here, about fifteen miles, maybe," Dean answered.

The doctor's brows knitted together. "There's nothing out that way. I mean nothing."

Dean shrugged, "I know. But, that's where I found her."

The nurse joined them. "She's resting comfortably. I'm sure she'll wake up soon." She hoped her smile masked her true concern.

The doctor turned to her. "You better call the sheriff. This guy says he found her laying in the highway. There may be a wreck out there." The nurse nodded then went to the desk to make the call.

"If you're done with me, I think I'm going to head out," Dean said pushing himself out of the chair.

The orderly was shocked. "In this storm?"

Dean shrugged. "I gotta find a place to stay at least."

The doctor clapped Dean on the shoulder. "I think we can give you a bed for the night. You go out there, and somebody is probably going to have to carry you in." The doctor shook his head. "Jerry, we got a room for this young man?"

The orderly smiled. "Sure, Doc. Right this way, man." Dean followed him to a private room just down the hall from the room where he had taken the girl.

* * *

The next morning, Dean was roused out of bed by the nurse from the night before. "Sorry to wake you, but the sheriff is here and he has some questions for you."

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. "Right. Okay. I'm up." Suddenly the meaning of the nurse's words became clear. "The sheriff? Why?"

The nurse only smiled at him. "When you're ready, he'll meet you by the nurse's station. I'll have coffee waiting for you."

"Thanks," Dean said as he swung his legs off the bed. "Hey, how's the girl?"

"She's awake and she's looking forward to meeting you," the nurse replied with another smile.

 

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

At the desk, out side the girl's room, Sheriff Brown listened to the doctor's report. "Everything came back negative. No drugs, not even a trace of alcohol. Rape kit results were also negative," the doctor said as he rubbed an eye.

The sheriff nodded. "So the guy's story about finding her in the road -" the sheriff began but was cut off by the young doctor's look.

"Here he is now. Hey, how'd you sleep?" the doctor asked Dean when he approached them.

"Like the dead. Thanks for putting me up last night, Doc," Dean replied hoping for light humor.

"No problem. Uh, you know I never caught your name," the doctor said with a quick glance at the sheriff.

"Dean, Dean Johnson." He held out his hand to the doctor.

"Doctor Solomon," the young doctor answered as he shook Dean's proffered hand. Then he turned to the sheriff. "Dean, this is Sheriff John Brown. I was just filling him in on our patient's condition."

Dean's eyes were huge at the mention of the sheriff's name. "Sheriff John Brown? Like the song? Really?" he asked nearly laughing.

The doctor hid his smile by studying his shoes for a moment. The sheriff huffed a tired sigh, "Yeah, like the song." He leaned against the nurse's station. "And you're Johnson? Like the coach?" the sheriff clarified as he scribbled the name in a notebook.

"Yes, sir," Dean nodded, "no relation."

The sheriff smirked at Dean's small joke.

The night nurse approached the men and handed them each a cup of coffee from the tray she carried. "Here you go, gentlemen." She turned to the doctor. "I'm going in to tell her about the scans scheduled for today." Dean watched her walk into the room across the hall.

"So, the doc tells me you found that girl out on the highway, during that hell-storm we had last night. I'd like to hear what happened."

"Yes, sir."

The sheriff drained his cup of coffee as he listened to Dean retell the tale of finding the girl in the road.

"So, you saw nothing on the road but her?" the man asked.

Dean covered his irritation at being questioned. "That's right, sir, just her."

The sheriff shook his head. "Damn. My deputy went twenty miles out that way once the storm cleared. He couldn't find anything. No wreck, not even a sign of one." He looked Dean over briefly. "I was hoping you'd know something."

"Sorry," Dean shrugged, wondering why the sheriff didn't ask the girl.

"Poor girl," the sheriff added, then he seemed to answer the question on Dean's mind. "She doesn't even know her own name, let alone how she ended up out in that storm or how you happened to find her on the highway."

Dean turned toward the girl's room in surprise. The girl looked much better than she did last night, in fact he found her kind of cute. She was smiling and interacting with the nurse. Turning to the doctor Dean asked, "Well, can I see her?"

After exchanging a brief look with the sheriff the doctor said, "No, sorry, we have a lot of tests scheduled for today."

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, of course you do. And I should really hit the road." He gave his contact information to the sheriff and left.

* * *

Dean strolled over to where he left the Impala in the hospital parking lot. Making his way to the driver's door, he spotted a pool of neon green liquid near the front of the car. He rushed over and knelt down. "No, no, no, no, no, no," he chanted. Wincing, he opened the hood of the car. "Shit! Goddammit!" he whined. Dean slammed the hood and returned to the hospital.

At the front desk, he asked the ancient lady working there for a phone book. She muttered something then, turned and waddled away. "Hey! Excuse me. Where are you going?" Dean called after her. "Great," Dean groaned and slammed his hand on the counter in frustration.

"Problem, Mr. Johnson?" the sheriff asked as he approached.

Dean looked at the sheriff. "Yeah, busted radiator. There's a lovely green puddle under my car," Dean smirked hoping to mask his irritation. "And the young lady working at this counter wobbled off before she could get me a phone book."

The sheriff nodded then pushed a button on his shoulder radio. "Sera, call a wrecker to come to the hospital for a tow." He looked at Dean and asked, "What kind of car?"

"'67 Impala," Dean answered.

The sheriff paused, made an approving face, and nodded. He pushed the button on his shoulder radio again. "Sera, cancel that and call Cliff for the tow." The sheriff leaned towards Dean. "Cliff restores classic cars. He'll take good care of it."

Dean's expression changed from frustrated to appreciative instantly. "Thanks, man, uh, I mean, sheriff."

The sheriff put a reassuring hand on Dean's shoulder. "You mind showing me this beauty before I've have to get back to the station?"

* * *

Dr. Solomon knocked on Buffy's door before sticking in his head. "Hi, I'm Dr. Solomon. I'd like to talk to you about your test results."

Buffy gave the young doctor a bored stare. "I know who you are. We met this morning, remember? I thought I was supposed to be the one with the memory problem."

The doctor bit his lip at her retort. "Yeah, um, sorry. I wasn't sure how your memory was holding up." He walked over to her bed, placed her file on the tray table, and gave her a tight smile. "See, the thing is, there's no real physical reason for your memory loss" he began. He opened her file and quickly flipped through some pages. "You have minor cranial swelling, but it's very minor." He looked at her in what he hoped was a reassuring expression.

Buffy nodded as the light bulb in her head turned on. "Oh, I see. So, I'm crazy-girl. That's what you're telling me."

"No," Dr. Solomon replied quickly. "But, I would like you to be seen by our staff psychiatrist, Dr. Sgriccia."

Buffy's eyes bugged out of her head at the psychiatrist's name. "Dr. Who?"

"Not Dr. Who," Dr. Solomon laughed slightly but realized Buffy didn't get the joke. "Dr. Sgriccia. Most of us call him Dr. Phil."

Buffy nodded. "Fine, Dr. Phil. When do I get to see him and have him tell me I'm crazy?"

The doctor sighed."I never said you were crazy. There could be many reasons for your memory loss. is the best resource we have to determine the cause of your condition." Buffy relented so the doctor continued, "He wants to see you this afternoon."

* * *

In the cab of Cliff's Classic Cars tow truck, Dean checked his cell phone. "Oh, you won't get a signal on that thing around here," Cliff informed him.

"You've got to be kidding me," Dean said in frustration.

"Sorry, man. Coverage was always spotty at best, but the storm yesterday knocked out the only cell tower around here. Now, we've got nothing."

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. "That's just effing perfect. How'm I supposed to let anyone know what happened?"

Cliff turned into his lot. "Hey, you can use my land line if it's a local call. If it's long distance, you're out of luck, those lines went down, too."

Dean hung his head in defeat. Talking to his dad or his brother was going to have to wait.

* * *

Buffy looked up at the soft knock on her door. "Hello." The man spoke quietly. "May I come in?"

Buffy nodded, but stared at the man. He was quite large and though he was dressed like a doctor, he looked more like a day laborer. He had a scruffy beard, unkempt hair, and he wore work boots.

"Thank you," he replied, again his voice was gentle. "I'm Dr. Sgriccia you can call me Dr. Phil."

Buffy gave him a tight smile, thinking the shrink was probably going to annoy her. She muttered, "Hi," but nothing more.

The doctor nodded. "Well, seems you remember you don't like doctors but you don't remember your name." He smiled softly, then seated himself in the only chair. "Let me assure you, I am only here to help. There are no physical reasons behind your condition, but there are many psychological reasons that may be causing your lack of memory. My concern is that you may have suffered a traumatic event and now you are suppressing that memory."

Buffy immediately began to worry. '"What kind of traumatic event?"

Dr. Sgriccia studied her expression. "Dr. Solomon went over your test results, correct?" Buffy nodded. "Then you know you show no signs of rape and there were no traces of drugs in your system?" Again, Buffy nodded, and the doctor smiled weakly. "Good. That leads me to believe that perhaps you witnessed something you weren't capable of dealing with. Whatever the case may be, I am here to help you figure out why you don't know who you are."

"Okay," Buffy replied in a tired voice.

The doctor sighed. "Well, let's begin with the first thing you remember."

"Well, like I've told everyone else, the first thing I remember is waking up in the emergency room. Jeanine, the nurse, and Dr. Solomon were checking my pulse and talking."

"That's it? Do you remember anything about last night or the young man the found you and brought you here?"

Buffy shrugged. She remembered thinking the guy was good looking, but thought the doctor probably wasn't refering to that. "Nope, not a thing. I saw the guy this morning, but I didn't even get a chance to talk to him."

"Did you _want_ to talk to him?" the doctor asked eagerly.

Again, Buffy shrugged. "Only to thank him for not leaving me out in the storm."

Doctor Sgriccia studied her for a moment then sighed heavily. "Okay, looks like we have our work cut out for us. I'd like to do a couple simple tests if you're up for it."

"Knock yourself out, Doc."

They spent the next several minutes reviewing basic history and geography. Buffy also proved to have some memory of Shakespeare and Greek myths. When Dr. Sgriccia suddenly asked for her phone number, Buffy blanked, then gaped at him. "What made you think I'd know my phone number?"

The doctor shook his head and explained how she had been reciting other items she had learned by rote memory, the same way one remembers a phone number. "I was hoping your brain would just spill it out like it did with the names of the states."

"Sorry, I guess it was worth a try, though," Buffy replied as if she was trying to encourage the doctor.

Dr. Sgriccia smiled warmly at her. He pulled a pamphlet from his folder. "I'd like you to read this. It's about hypnosis. It may be something we should try."

 

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

Four hours later, Dean was back in the emergency room of the hospital. His left hand was wrapped in a wad of towels and held over his head. Next to Dean, an anxious man rocked in his seat. "Oh god Oh god Oh god," the nervous man repeated. He looked at Dean and repeated the mantra again.

"Dude, enough already. I told you, I'm gonna be fine." Dean lowered his arm and moved aside the towel to look at his latest wound. "Probably only ten stitches. Twelve at the most."

Dean's companion chanced a look and promptly began to gag. Dean shook his head and chuckled.

"Dean?" a nurse called.

Dean rose at the sound of his name. "Right here," he answered waving his injured hand.

Twenty minutes later, Dean had thirty-two stitches in his numbed hand. He wiggled his fingers, amusing himself at the disconnection of the movement and the feeling. He looked around and saw his ride, Richie, the clumsy mechanic, had left. "Great," he muttered.

 

**#*#*#*#**

 

Buffy wrapped the hospital robe around herself. "Can I go for a walk?" she asked the nurse at the station outside her room.

The nurse nodded. "Where are you going? You know your room number?"

Buffy did a half turn and pointed at her door. "Yeah, I got it. I'm just going to get some air."

The nurse shook her head. "Sorry. Can't let you go outside."

Buffy sighed. "Can I go to the gift shop?"

"Yeah, that you can do."

Grateful to be out of bed and out of her room, Buffy took her time walking to the small store. When she got there, she frowned realizing she didn't have any money. Maybe they wouldn't mind if she just looked at some magazines, she thought.

Dean was walking to the register from the back of the store when he saw her. "Hey, Roadkill, they let you out?" he joked coming to stand next to her.

Shocked someone was talking to her, Buffy only stared for a second before she recognized Dean, "Oh, hi. What are you doing here?"

Dean held up his arm. "Needed some stitches." He looked her over with a smile. "How're you doing?"

"Fine. I'm fine. What happened? How'd you get hurt?" Buffy asked and gently lifted his injured arm.

"Long boring story involving my car and a clumsy mechanic. Trust me, you don't want to hear it," Dean replied smiling. "But, you're fine? You got you memory back?"

Buffy averted her eyes to the magazine rack. "Uh, no. I still don't remember anything."

"Hm," Dean pressed his lips together in thought. "What's that like?"

Buffy frowned and looked back at him. He seemed friendly and actually concerned about her. For her part, she was happy to be speaking to someone at least close to her own age. "It's weird. I don't know my name, but I know I like the outfit she's wearing." Buffy answered pointing to a fashion magazine. "I don't know where I live either, but I can name all fifty states." She looked at Dean. "That's weird, right?"

"Yeah, I don't know, I guess that's weird," Dean agreed. "Do the doctors know why you lost your memory?"

"Dr. Phil told me -"

"Dr. Phil?"

"Yeah, he's the hospital's shrink."

"So, not the one from TV, Oprah's friend," Dean joked.

"No," Buffy laughed."Not that guy. Anyway, this Dr. Phil said that I might be repressing a memory of some awful event or that I witnessed something traumatic." She looked intently at him. "Do you remember seeing anything when you found me?"

"No, sorry. Just you laying in the road during a storm."

Buffy sighed. "It's okay. I was just hoping you had a clue or something."

Dean studied her while she perused the magazine rack. "Hey, do you want anything or need anything? I'm buying," Dean offered.

"No," Buffy shook her head. "You already saved my life. I think you've done enough."

Dean scoffed. "What kind of life is it if you're bored? Come on, pick out a magazine, at least," he said encouraging her to look at the selections again.

Buffy smiled and chose a _People_ from the rack. "Thank you."

At the register, Dean snagged a couple Snickers bars. After paying for everything, Dean handed Buffy a Snickers. "I'm sure you remember chocolate. All girls like chocolate," he said with a grin as he tore off the end of his wrapper.

Buffy returned his friendly smile. "Are you calling yourself a girl?" she teased pointing at the candy bar he was devouring.

Dean chewed and shook his head. "No, not at all. I said all girls like chocolate." He grinned slyly at her. "And now I taste like chocolate." He wagged his eyebrows at her making her giggle.

"Ohmygod!" she giggled as she playfully swatted his uninjured arm.

When they came to the end of the hallway, Dean looked at her. "How long until the staff comes looking for you?" Buffy shrugged. "And you don't remember your name or anything?"

Buffy shook her head and answered, "Nope, no clue."

Dean looked at the directory on the wall behind Buffy then back at her. "Well, I can't keep calling you 'Roadkill'." He walked a few steps to the elevator and pushed the call button. "Come on. I have an idea."

"Okay," Buffy said hesitantly, "But I can't keep calling you 'nice guy who saved my life and bought me candy'. I mean I can, but it's kinda awkward."

Dean was surprised for a moment, then he chuckled. "Dean. My name's Dean." He held out his hand and Buffy shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Dean. And thank you for saving my life and for the chocolate."

"My pleasure, cute-girl-who-lays-in-road-during-storms." Buffy looked stunned at his new nick name for her. With a slight shrug Dean replied, "Your Native American name." As the elevator slid open, Dean said, "After you," with his hand held out, ushering her in before him. A smiling, slightly blushing Buffy bowed her head in thanks then led the way into the elevator.

 

**#*#*#*#**

 

The elevator doors dinged open and Dean led Buffy onto the maternity ward. Buffy gave him a very confused look, but before she could get an answer from him, they were approached by a floor nurse. "Can I help you?" the nurse asked sweetly.

"We're here to see my sister. She just had a kid," Dean answered before attempting to walk around the nurse.

"Oh, congratulations Uncle!" the nurse responded with a smile before she turned to Buffy and pouted dramatically. "I'm real sorry, sweetie, but it's against hospital policy for patients to visit our newborns."

"Oh," Buffy replied looking at Dean for help.

The nurse returned her attention to Dean. "Your sister can bring the baby to visit ya'll down in your room, but we can't endanger the other newborns."

Both Dean and Buffy nodded. "Makes sense, I guess," Dean said. Turning to Buffy he continued, "Why don't you go back to your room? I'll be down in a couple minutes."

"Okay," Buffy answered still wondering what they were doing on the maternity ward. Did Dean really have a sister here, too?

 

**#*#*#*#**

 

When Buffy returned to her room, she found a nurse rushing out. "Oh, sorry, excuse me," Buffy said as they nearly collided.

The nurse grabbed Buffy's arm roughly and checked her I.D. Bracelet. "Where were you?" the nurse asked as she released Buffy's arm.

"I went for a walk. I went to the gift shop and then a short detour on the elevator then-"

"You are not allowed to leave this room without an escort. Do you understand?"

The nurse's brusque manner surprised Buffy, who pointed at the nurse's desk. "The other nurse said I could go to the gift shop," Buffy replied feeling scolded.

"Hmpf, she shouldn't have allowed it." Then the nurse said. "Get in bed. I need to update your chart."

With wide eyes, Buffy did as she was told.

 

**#*#*#*#**

 

Dean was stopped by the same nurse as he was about to enter Buffy's room. "Excuse me, young man can I help you?"

"No, I'm good." He continued towards Buffy's room.

The nurse moved from behind the desk and strode toward him. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm just going in for a minute," he answered nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry, but I can't allow that."

"What? Why? Did something happen? Is she okay?" Dean asked, suddenly worried.

Buffy heard the exchange from her spot on her bed and walked to the door.

"You aren't on the approved visitor list."

Buffy interrupted from the doorway, "It's okay. We know each other."

"See, she approved me," Dean smirked and moved closer to Buffy making her suddenly feel self conscious.

"It doesn't work that way. Young man, you need to leave now." The nurse turned to Buffy. "Miss, return to your room. You are not mentally capable of making a decision."

Buffy gasped, "What?"

Dean began to get angry with the nurse. "Listen, Nurse Ratched, you're the one not mentally capable. She should be able to have whoever she wants in her room."

"Young man, don't make me call security."

"Call them, doesn't bother me. In fact, call the sheriff. He'll tell you I can see her."

As the nurse began to walk to the desk, Buffy grasped Dean's hand. "Dean, I don't want you to get in trouble."

Dean looked down at her hand before meeting her eyes and winking at her. "Here," he handed her a book, "I got this for you from upstairs."

Before Buffy could look at the book, Dr. Solomon turned the corner and joined them. "Hello, Dean. Checking up on our patient?"

Dean grinned at the doctor and then at Buffy. "Yeah, would you mind telling Ratched over there that I'm allowed to visit? She's calling security on me."

The doctor's shoulders slumped. "You didn't call her that, did you?" Dean's answer was a smirk. "Oh jeez," the doctor sighed. "Nurse Walsh, you don't need to call security," he called, making his way to the nurse's station.

When they were alone, Buffy turned the book over. " _The Complete Book of Baby Names_?" She looked up at Dean.

Dean shrugged, "I thought you could use it to help figure out your name." The arrival of a security officer at the nurse's station, drew Dean's attention. "Guess I better get going. I need to check on my car and find a place to stay anyway." Looking back at Buffy he added, "Take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Dean, I hope I get to see you again," Buffy added with a hopeful shy smile that made Dean feel strangely pleased with himself. He smiled back, before nodding and walking away.

* * *

It might only be late May, but it was still a scorcher in Texas. Dean dragged his forearm over his forehead to wipe away his sweat. He looked from his beloved car to Cliff and sighed, "Really?"

Seeing Dean's pained expression, Cliff nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, kid, but the differential is shot. But, I'll keep my word. I'm only charging for parts."

Dean looked at his injured hand. Their deal had been made when Dean could do the work himself. Dean rubbed his temple. "When will the parts arrive?"

Cliff looked at his clipboard. "Radiator should be in sometime day after tomorrow. And well, I think I can get a new gear box here next week, Tuesday at the latest."

Recognizing the look of despair on Dean's face, Cliff said, "I'll make you another deal. Richie's been thinkin' you're gonna sue him for what happened to your hand."

Dean quirked a brow at Cliff. The thought had never crossed his mind. "Hey, tell him -"

Cliff smirked and with a nod added, "I'll tell him the labor is on him. If you trust him with your car."

Dean's mouth fell open, "Really?"

"Sure, kid. I told him he'd be lucky if you didn't go after him or me for everything we have," Cliff replied as he returned to the office.

"I wouldn't..." Dean began but Cliff interrupted again.

"Good. But, don't tell Richie that." He took out a form and began to jot down some information. "How can I reach you, if we need something? Where are you staying in town?"

Dean dragged a hand over his head. "I don't know. You know any place that's within walking distance?"

Cliff scrunched his face in thought. "Well, there's the Bluebird. They've been remodeling so I don't know if they're open, but it's right down the road. Tell Mr. Lee I sent you, he'll give you a good deal."

Dean sighed. "Right, the Bluebird. Got it."

* * *

Buffy's thumb flipped the pages of the baby name book as she looked at the People magazine. Though the celebrities seemed familiar, Buffy wasn't interested in their stories. She studied each page hoping something would awaken a memory, but she was coming up empty.

"Hello, I'm Jeanine, remember me? I'll be your nurse for the evening. How are you feeling?" Jeanine asked cheerfully as she filled in Buffy's chart.

Buffy looked up from her magazine. "I'm fine. I feel fine, anyway."

Jeanine smiled. "That's good. Have you had a chance to look at the dinner menu?" She handed Buffy a copy. "What's that you've got there?"

Buffy took the menu, "Just a magazine a friend bought for me."

The mention of a friend captured the nurse's full attention. "A friend? Oh, you know who you are now?" she asked excitedly.

Buffy shook her head. "No, uh, a guy named Dean bought it for me. He got me this book, too."

"Ooh, that cute guy that brought you in? He came to see you?" Jeanine's response made Buffy blush.

"No, he hurt his hand and needed stitches. We met up in the gift shop," Buffy answered looking down to hide the way her cheeks were warming.

Jeanine saw Buffy's reaction and decided to continue teasing her. "So, cute guy who saved your life, also bought you gifts. Hmm, I think cute guy thinks you're cute, too."

Buffy shook her head. "I think he felt sorry for me, that's all."

Jeanine smirked. "Sure, that's all. What's this?" she asked picking up the baby name book.

"Dean thought it would help me remember my name," Buffy answered hoping the teasing was over.

"Have you looked at it yet?" When Buffy shook her head, Jeanine nodded and opened the book to a random page. "Wow, this is pretty good. Look at the page for Catherine." She held the book open for Buffy to see. "It lists every nick name and alternate spellings. Cathy, Katie, Cat, Kate..." She looked Buffy in the eye. "This actually might help. You should look at it."

Buffy shrugged. "Okay. I guess I could at least pick a name I'd like to be called. I mean I can't go around being called 'Roadkill'."

Jeanine gasped, "Who called you that?"

"Dean," Buffy answered. Jeanine paused then giggled.

Buffy stood before the bathroom mirror. She turned her head to the left then the right. Then she made a face at the reflection. Sighing, she whined at herself, "Tell me who you are." She thumbed through the baby name book. "Angela?" She looked in the mirror. "No, not Angela." She squinted at herself before she returned to looking through the book. "Theresa." Quick glance in mirror, "Uh-uh. Terry?" She paused, wrinkled her nose and flipped more pages. "Elizabeth. Whoa, that's a lot of nick-names." Buffy looked in the mirror. Elizabeth didn't look right, but Liza? Liz? Lilly? Ella? Beth? Betsy? Buffy tilted her head. Betsy? No, none of these were it. One more try. Her thumb zipped through the pages again. Rebecca. Buffy looked in the mirror and repeated the name. "Rebecca, Becca, Becky." She blinked. "Becky." She repeated Becky several times as she looked at herself from different angles. Then she shrugged, "I could be a Becky."

She walked out to the nurses station where Jeanine was working. "Hey, do I look like a Becky to you?"

Jeanine pushed out her lower lip in judgment, then nodded. "Yeah, you could be a Becky." She pulled out a note card and a Sharpie and wrote Buffy's new name on it. "Now we hang this on your door, and no one will call you 'Roadkill' anymore."

Buffy stared at the note card. It wasn't right. Becky was definitely not her name. But, she reminded herself, at least it was something. It was close to being right. She felt the answer was on the tip of her tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners Mutant Enemy et al and Kripke enterprises et al. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sat at the diner's counter sipping his coffee. He watched as the waitresses greeted most of the customers by name and knew their orders before they were placed. He found himself amused by the friendly, small town 'everyone knows everyone else' attitude that permeated the diner. The sound of feminine laughter drew his attention to the door in time to see Jeanine and another girl, also dressed in scrubs, walk into the diner. Jeanine smiled brightly at him and dragged her companion over to him.

"Hi! Dean, right?" she asked taking the seat next to him.

"Yeah, and you're the nurse from the other day. How's it going?" he returned her smile and nodded an invitation to join him at the counter.

"Well, I'm exhausted. I'm sick to death of the night shift," she replied as she flipped over a coffee cup. "I'm Jeanine and this is my friend, Julie. Julie this is Dean. He's the guy that found Becky."

"Becky?" Dean spoke up eagerly. "She remembered her name?"

Jeanine grinned at him. "No, but Roadkill wasn't an appropriate option." When Dean smiled at that comment, the nurse continued, "She pulled it from that baby name book you found for her."

The waitress interrupted their conversation. "Hello, Ladies. What'll it be? Dinner or breakfast?"

"Dinner," they answered in unison. "Have any fried chicken left?" Julie asked earning a surprised look from Dean.

"Sure thing, sweetie. How about you Jeanine? The same?"

"Absolutely." Seeing Dean's bandaged hand, the nurse changed the subject. "What happened?"

"This?" Dean lifted his hand. "Cliff's mechanic didn't wait until my hand was out of the way before he started the winch. I had to get a couple stitches."

"A couple? That looks like more than a couple."

"Well, it should have been a couple, but the doctor seemed to be really into sewing me up."

The nurses exchanged looks. "Steve," they said in unison.

"Steve wants to be a plastic surgeon, so stitches are his thing," Jeanine said in sympathy. "On the bright side, it gives you an excuse to see our girl again. I already put you on the approved visitor list, Nurse Walsh won't bother you."

"Thanks, but I wasn't planning on –"

"What?" Jeanine interrupted him. "Didn't you ever hear that if you save a person's life, you're responsible for them?"

"No," Dean huffed a laugh as he shook his head.

"Oh, it's true," Julie added. "I think it's a Chinese proverb or something."

"Well, whatever, I can't be responsible for her. I'm leaving town as soon as my car's fixed."

"You can at least visit her, right? Think how bored she must be. All day long, sitting in that room with nothing to do and no one to talk to." Jeanine gave Dean a look that put his brother's puppy eyes to shame.

"I suppose I can visit her sometime before I leave town," Dean sighed.

* * *

"Morning, miss. I'm Sheriff John Brown. You spoke with my deputy yesterday, remember?" the Sheriff asked from the door to Buffy's room. "Do you have a minute? I'd like to ask you some more questions?"

"Yes, of course, Sheriff, but I really don't remember anything."

The sheriff nodded and pulled a chair alongside her bed. "Well, that's what I want to talk to you about. We didn't find a wreck or much of anything else out on the highway where that young man found you." He paused, he didn't want to upset the girl. "There is a chance someone could have stolen it or it could have even been towed; we're checking the local garages today. But since we don't know how you happened to be on that road and you don't know who you are, I thought maybe we could go to the media for help." Buffy looked unsure. "We could take a picture of you and ask anyone with information to contact my office."

Buffy thought for a moment. "Okay, sure. I guess it couldn't hurt."

Sheriff Brown smiled. "I'll send the deputy by later and you'll be on the evening news."

The deputy had just left Buffy's room after taking the photo they would give the local news to assist them with learning Buffy's identity, when Dr. Phil returned. "Good afternoon. Do you have a moment for us to talk?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Let me check my schedule...yeah, I've got nothing planned for the rest of the day."

"I see a sign on the door with the name 'Becky'. Have you remembered anything else?" he asked as he sat in the room's extra chair.

"No. My name's not Becky, but it's close to that."

Dr. Phil nodded and jotted some notes. "Okay, Becky, I've reviewed my notes and the sheriff's report. I'd like to discuss my theories as to what caused your dissociative amnesia." Buffy shifted in her place on the bed, leaning closer to the doctor. He recognized her worried expression. "You most likely witnessed something that made you venture out into that storm seeking help. Perhaps, whatever it was, frightened you so much, that you have blocked all your memories, not just the ones associated with this incident."

"Okay," Buffy replied slowly. "So, what can I do about it? How do I get my memory back?"

"Have you considered hypnosis?"

Buffy made a disinterested face. "I don't like the idea of not being in control."

Dr. Phil nodded and noted that in his folder. "Very well, but I think you will need to agree to sessions with me, where we will just talk," he reassured her. "We need to get to the cause of your situation."

Buffy huffed out a "fine" and the doctor sighed. "Becky, the thing you must realize is that you cannot stay in this hospital forever." Buffy nodded. "However, it is not prudent to release you when you have no resources and nowhere to stay. Since you don't know who you are or where you live, you may have to move to my ward."

"Seriously? I'm forgetful, I'm not all 'bats in the belfry'."

Dr. Phil gave her an understanding smile. "I didn't say you were. I'm saying you can't go home, and you can't stay here."

Feeling helpless, Buffy slumped back in her bed.

* * *

Late in the day, Dean found himself with nothing to do. He thought about what Jeanine had said about how bored 'Becky' must be and decided it would be better to do nothing with her than by himself.

"Hey, how's it going? Want some company?" Dean asked, leaning on the doorjamb to Buffy's room.

Buffy looked up from her solitaire game and smiled brightly when she saw him. "Dean! Yeah, I'd love some. Come in."

"What's with the 'Becky' on the door? Is that really your name?"

"It is today," Buffy answered. "Took the name from the baby name book you stole," she added with a smirk. "It seems close. I don't know," she shrugged.

Dean's eyes were traveling all over her, making her feel very self-conscious. "You look like a Becky, I guess. But, I didn't steal anything, I borrowed. If you don't return it, then it's you doing the stealing," he added with a wink.

To stop herself from blushing, Buffy looked at the cards in front of her again. "I can't believe this, but I want to cheat at solitaire." She looked up when Dean chuckled at her. "Does that make me pathetic?"

"No." Dean stood at the end of the bed. "Competitive, yes, but not pathetic. You must not be used to losing."

Buffy gathered the cards into a pile to shuffle. "You play cards?"

Dean shrugged. "I've been known to play poker." He sat on her bed with the tray table between them.

 

Buffy made a face as she shuffled the cards. "I wonder if I play poker." She looked into Dean's smiling eyes. "You wanna play?" She saw no reason to tell him she spent the better part of the day with nothing to watch but the world poker tournament on ESPN.

Dean raised a brow. "Well, I don't know." He held out his hand and Buffy gave him the deck, "How old are you? You're at least eighteen, right?"

Buffy gave him a confused look. "Yeah, Dr. Solomon said that I was probably twenty. What does that have to do with poker?"

"Normally, I play for money. But, seeing as you don't have any, we'd have to play for clothes."

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked with wide eyes.

"It's called strip poker." He paused and appraised her. "But, it'd be wrong of me to play with an underage girl. Especially since you are at a distinct disadvantage not having the usual girl defenses." Buffy balked, but Dean continued, "I'll have you naked in," he acted like he was counting her clothes, "five hands, six at the most." He smiled playfully at her, enjoying her shocked expressions.

"Six hands?"

"Well, I'd have to let you win at least one hand."

"Oh - kay," Buffy took a breath to steady herself. "And 'usual girl defenses'? What are those?"

"Earrings, jewelry, shoes," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Mm-hmm," Buffy nodded as Dean dealt the cards.

"Same rules as regular poker. Nothing wild. Person with the lowest hand takes off an item of clothing."

 

Buffy looked at her cards and a blush crept onto her cheeks. "I'm not sure I want to play this game."

Dean grinned at his cards, "I'm not totally heartless. Like I said, I'd let you win at least one hand." He looked up at her and winked, "Maybe two." He tilted his head and studied her. "Need a card?"

Buffy chewed her lip. "Yeah. Two?" She put two cards on the tray table between them.

Dean dealt two cards to Buffy and took one for himself. "Alright, sweetheart, show your hand."

Buffy bit her lip as she laid her cards on the table. "Two pair."

Dean looked at her cards. "Eights and threes, nice." He put his cards down. "I have two pair, also. Jacks and nines, so I'd have won." He scooped the cards into a pile, straightened them, then slid them towards Buffy. "Your deal."

Buffy squeezed her arms into her shirt and started to squirm out of her bra. "Whoa," Dean said, sounding a bit more excited than he intended. "If you're doing that, I should shut the door. And, really you don't have to, not that I mind. I totally admire your enthusiasm, but we were just playing for fun."

Buffy kept as calm as she could and attempted to appear confident. "You should shut the door, 'cause I'm in it to win it."

Dean's eyed bugged out and he nearly fell off the bed in his haste to shut the door. When he turned back to the bed, Buffy was nonchalantly dropping a lacy bra onto the bed. While Buffy shuffled the cards, Dean hopped back onto the bed and thought what a good idea it had been to see her that day.

 

With a raised brow, Buffy looked at her cards, then at Dean. "What is it called when the cards go in order? I can't remember."

"A straight. Is that what you've got?" he asked without looking up from his hand.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see."

Dean wiped his mouth with his hand and studied her. "I fold."

Buffy grinned widely as she scooped all the cards into a pile. "Come on, make with the taking off of the clothes."

"Okay." Dean smirked and toed off a shoe.

"A shoe? Seriously? One shoe?"

"I want to keep you wanting more," Dean teased. He picked up the cards and started shuffling. "When are you getting out of this place, anyway?"

"I'm not," Buffy answered quietly.

Dean paused his shuffling. "You're not, why not? Is something wrong?"

Buffy thought she heard concern in his voice. But, she shook her head and her expression told Dean she didn't want to talk about it. "No. It's just policy."

"It's policy to keep a person here indefinitely? If you're at least eighteen, check yourself out."

Buffy sighed. "I can't be discharged because I have no place to go. So, I'm transferring to Dr. Phil's ward," she replied quietly, hoping she wasn't betraying her true feelings about her transfer.

Dean leaned back and blinked as her statement sunk in. "Dr. Phil's ward. The psych ward? But, you're not crazy. You just don't remember who you are." Buffy shrugged but didn't look up from her cards. "You can stay with me," Dean blurted out before he thought about it. "I got a place not far from here and I'll be leaving in a couple days, so it's all yours."

Buffy's mouth fell open in shock. "Dean, you don't have to do that."

"Why should you stay in the psych ward?" Trying to act as if it didn't matter to him, he shuffled the cards and dealt another hand. "Is Jeanine working? I can go ask her if there'd be a problem with you staying with me."

"But, Dean, you don't even know me," Buffy spluttered.

"So, neither do you," he joked, but he noticed she looked anxious. "Hey, forget it. I was just trying to help." He shrugged, "No skin off my nose if you want to stay in the psych ward. It's just I got this big ol' suite, two beds, a kitchen, cable TV... but, I get it. You're one of those people that actually likes hospital food." He sorted his cards before looking up at her. "Need a card?"

Buffy had been staring at him, but his question snapped her out of her shock. She looked at her cards, though her mind was reeling with his offer. "Uh, yeah, two please." Dean dealt her two cards then took two for himself.

Dean raised a brow expectantly as Buffy studied her hand. "Well, princess?"

"Two nines," she sighed.

Dean smirked. "Full house, sevens and fives." His brows were raised with expectation.

Buffy blushed, but made good on the bet by removing the scrub bottoms she was wearing. Calmly, she gathered the cards, shuffled them and dealt them, all the while trying to act like she was not at all uncomfortable being half undressed in front of Dean. Clearing her throat she asked, "Need a card?"

"Nope." By his puckish grin, Buffy figured he was enjoying her discomfort a bit too much.

 

Before the game could continue, Jeanine knocked on the door. "Hey, Becky, you got a minute? Oh, hi, Dean. Am I interrupting something?"

Dean looked at Buffy and noticed she had shifted her position on the bed. Dean slowly rose from the bed, blocking Buffy from the nurse's view. "No, Jeanine. Come on in." He put his cards down on the table and slipped into his shoe. "I guess I should get going. What'd ya have?"

"Three queens," she said with smirk, "You?"

"Flush. All diamonds." Dean licked his lip, then threw down his cards. "Dang, looks like I gotta go just when this was getting good," he added with a wink. Buffy tried not to smile or blush, but failed as she met his smiling eyes.

Jeanine watched him go, then turned to a blushing Buffy. "So, I'd ask what that was about, but I'm not sure I want to know. I just stopped by to tell you that the 'powers that be' haven't changed the policy and unless you can remember something, you'll be transferred to psych tomorrow."

Buffy nodded solemnly. "Dean offered to take me in."

"Did he now? You going to take him up on it?" Jeanine asked with a sly smile.

Buffy's eyes drifted to the door and her fingers fussed with the blanket. "No. I don't want to impose. I mean, he doesn't even know me." She looked at Jeanine. "Do you think I should?"

Jeanine struggled with the twinge of guilt she was feeling. Had she 'forced' Dean into making the offer? The nurse looked at Buffy and was going to tell her about seeing Dean at the diner, but then she remembered something Dean had mentioned. "Dean told me he was leaving town in a couple days. Did he tell you that?"

"Yes."

"Well, then, I think staying with him would be perfect. He will be here long enough for you to check out and have a place to stay. Sheriff Brown is going to find your family in a few days, anyway. If Dean leaves before that happens, you've got a place to yourself." She watched Buffy think it over. "Why don't we see if we can catch him?"

Buffy started to climb out of bed when she remembered she wasn't completely dressed. "Maybe you should go, I'm not exactly dressed for roaming the halls."

Jeanine took in Buffy's half-dressed state and gasped. "I knew I was interrupting something."

 

 

Jeanine caught Dean just as he was about to enter the elevator. "Dean, you sure about letting Becky stay with you?"

Dean slapped a hand on the door before it closed. "It doesn't matter. I mean, she can do what she wants. I'm leaving in a couple of days."

"Okay, because you know when I said you're responsible for her, I was teasing. I didn't mean you had to take her in," Jeanine confessed.

"I know. But staying at the Bluebird is better than the psych ward, right?"

Jeanine nodded, but then broached her main concern. "You're not trying to.." she broke into a whisper, "take advantage of the situation and hook up with her, are you?"

Dean's eyes widened at the accusation. "What? No, what makes you say that?"

"The fact that she's in there half dressed."

Dean laughed as he stepped into the waiting elevator. "She's the one that wanted to play poker. Tell her I'll be right back." The elevator door shut and stopped their conversation.

 

 

Jeanine returned to Buffy's room wearing a nervous smile. "Well, I caught up with Dean and he said it would be okay for you to stay with him."

Buffy could tell something was making the nurse anxious. "Well, I don't know if I will, but I guess it's nice to have an option other than the psych ward."

"Yeah," Jeanine agreed. "The thing is, I think Dr. Phil would have to agree with it. He's the attending physician in charge of your case."

"And you think he wants me to stay in the psych ward?"

"I don't know, but he might not approve of you staying with Dean." She studied Buffy for a second. "How much do you know about him?"

Buffy tried to look hopeful. "He likes chocolate, he's got thirty-two stitches in his hand, and he's a pretty good poker player."

Jeanine huffed a laugh. "Not exactly enough. He said he'd be back. So when he gets here, hint around and find stuff out about him."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Find out where he's from. Where he works or where he goes to school. Does he have a wife and kids waiting at home for him? You know, that kind of stuff."

Buffy's eyes widened in panic. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Just bring it up in conversation."

"Okay," Buffy nodded, at least she could try. "You really think he's got a wife and kids?" Buffy wrinkled her nose; she didn't think Dean looked old enough to be married, let alone be a dad.

"Who knows?" Jeanine shrugged. Before the nurse could say anything more, Dean walked in. "See, Becky, told you he'd be back." The nurse smiled at Dean. "I'll leave you two to your game."

 

 

The moment Jeanine closed the door, Buffy asked, "Were you serious about letting me stay with you?"

"Yeah, sure. Why? You change your mind? Thinking the Bluebird might not be so bad?"

"Well, I don't think staying in the psych ward is such a great idea. But, uh, I don't want to impose on you. I mean, what would your wife think of you letting a girl move in with you?" Buffy cringed as she asked, but she needed to know more about Dean's background and family.

Dean paused, then chuckled. "Wow, you really suck at fishing." He laughed again. "I'm not married, I'm only twenty-two. I don't have a girlfriend either. I wouldn't be here if I did. Hell, I wouldn't be here if I had my car." He looked at Buffy and noticed her demeanor changed.

Buffy nodded and felt like he was only there out of pity for her. She snatched up the television remote and clicked on the TV. "You know, Dean, if you don't want to be here, you can go. No one's forcing you to stay." She hoped that came across as more bored than insulted.

"Whoa, wait, sorry, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I meant that it's Friday night. If I had a girlfriend, she'd expect to go out on Friday night. So, since I'm here, obviously I don't have a girlfriend. And my car has a busted radiator. If it didn't, I'd have left Wednesday morning. I didn't mean I didn't want to be here." He paused, hoping his explanation soothed her attitude. "What else you want to know?"

Buffy stared at him for a moment, then with a sigh she asked, "Where are you from? What do you do? You know, for a living. There can't be a high demand for saving damsels in distress who lay in the road during thunderstorms."

"Hey, that's a good gig, don't knock it." Dean smiled, "I'm originally from Kansas, but I've kinda lived all over. I was on my way to meet up with my dad when I found you."

"So, do you have a big family?"

"No it's just me, my dad and my brother," he paused as he reconsidered his answer. "Actually right now, it's just me. My brother ran off to college and my dad is in Alabama on a case."

"A case? What does he do? Is he a lawyer or a detective or something?"

Dean scratched his head to give him time to think. "Yeah, he's a detective sort of."

"I thought you had a sister."

Dean looked baffled. He was about to ask why she thought that when he remembered the trip to the maternity ward. Shaking his head he said, "No, I only said that so I could get a book of baby names."

"Oh," Buffy said with a small smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. So, we playing cards, or what?"

"Sure, I guess." The return of Buffy's complete discomfort made Dean smile.

"Cool. I got us some of these," Dean held out two bags of M&M's. "Figured we could use these for betting, or our game will be over pretty quick." Dean gingerly lifted her bra off the bed by hooking it on a finger. "Better put this back on. I don't want anyone thinking I'm taking advantage of you." Buffy blushed as she snatched the bra from his fingers.

 

They played for a while, until Buffy found herself low on 'funds'. Unable to make a bet, she crumpled her candy wrapper. "This sucks. I could have totally won this hand." She threw down her cards.

Dean shook his head. "Shouldn't eat the winnings, babe."

"How am I supposed to not eat chocolate? Was this some sort of scheme to guarantee you won?"

Dean winked. "I don't give away those kinds of secrets. What'd you have, anyway?"

"A flush."

"Dang, sweetheart, if we had been playing for clothes, somebody would be naked." He pushed the rest of the M&M's to her. "Here, have the rest. It's only fair."

Grinning widely, Buffy greedily scooped them up. "Ha! So you admit I'd have won!"

"I admit nothing. I just know better than to get between a girl and chocolate," Dean replied with a wink.

Buffy smiled and returned a few of the candies. "Where is the Bluebird anyway?"

"You can probably see it," Dean said, standing up from the bed. He tossed a candy into the air and caught it in his mouth. "No, wait, it's on the north side. Come on, you'd be able to see it from the big windows at the end of the hall."

"There, see the sign?" Dean asked, pointing once they arrived at the wall of windows.

Buffy leaned as far over the rail as she could, resting her head on the window. "Yeah, nice. Looks like it has a pool."

"Uh-huh," Dean answered, but he had been checking out Buffy from behind, looking away just as she turned.

"It's within walking distance."

"Kinda has to be until I get my car back." Dean looked at the darkening sky. "Hey, I think I should get going. It looks like we might be getting another storm."

Buffy beamed at him. "Thanks for coming by and letting me win. Sure beat watching TV."

Dean scoffed and playfully tapped her arm. "I didn't let you win. I just let you have the candy before you succumbed to chocolate withdrawal." They had arrived at the bank of elevators and awkwardly paused, both smiling, neither wanting the evening to end. The elevator arrived and Dean ducked his head, thinking how the moment felt like the end of a date. "Well, uh, I'll see ya, Becky. The invitation to Bluebird is open, if you decide not to stay in the psych ward."

 

* * *

Buffy took her time returning to her room. Staying with Dean seemed harmless. He had been nice to her every time she saw him. He hadn't tried to do anything creepy to her when she was unconscious girl, so that was definitely a point in his favor. He was also going to be leaving soon. That idea gave Buffy pause. She didn't want Dean to leave; she didn't really know anyone else. Then she realized she barely knew Dean. She paged through the phone book to the listing for motels and dialed the number for the Bluebird.

 

 

Dean had just made it to his motel room when large drops of rain began to fall. He plopped down on a bed, flipped on the TV and nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone rang.

Only one person knew where he was, so he hoped Cliff was calling to give him a progress report on his car.

"What's up, Cliff?" Dean asked as he picked up the motel phone.

Dean's answer had Buffy baffled into momentary silence.

"Hello?" Dean asked when Cliff hadn't said anything.

"Dean?" Buffy asked, though she was certain it had to be him.

"Yeah, this is Dean, uh, who -"

"It's Becky, sorry for blanking out there. I didn't understand what you said when you picked up the phone."

Dean laughed. "Sorry about that. I thought only Cliff had this number."

"I looked it up, not exactly hard to do."

Dean smirked. "Aren't you Little Miss Resourceful. So, what can I do for you Becky? You miss me already?"

Buffy snorted. "Yeah, I just can't bear to be without you for more than an hour at a time."

"If I had a nickel for every girl I made feel like that, I'd -

"Still be broke?" Buffy offered in a teasing tone.

"Ouch!" Dean chuckled. "Didn't you call because you needed something? Most people are nice when they're asking for a favor," Dean lightly chided. "I'll cut you some slack because you've got that whole amnesia thing going for you, but there's no need to stomp all over my ego."

"You're right, I'm sorry," she mocked. "I'm sure you've had plenty of girls throw themselves at you, begging for even just a minute of your time," Buffy replied with fake drama in her voice.

Dean laughed at that. "Now that's more like it. You just might remember how to kiss-up to a person. So, what can I do for you?"

"Do you know when your car will be done?"

"No, not really. The radiator came in today, but the gear box isn't due to arrive until next week. I don't know what kind of schedule Richie the mechanic has either. I'm sure my car isn't top priority over there, since they're doing it on their own time. Why?"

"Because Jeanine said that Doctor Phil might have to approve the idea of me staying with you. I wanted to know how long you'd be staying there."

"Approve me, huh?" Good luck with that Dean thought to himself, figuring 'approval' wouldn't happen. He flipped through the channels and changed the subject. "Hey, does your room have cable?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied, hardly noticing the topic change.

"Cool. Turn on channel 58, it's AMC, if the numbers aren't the same." Dean kicked off his shoes and sat back in the bed. "You're going to see a kid playing a video game. You find it?"

Buffy sat in her bed and tuned to the channel. "Yeah. The boy is wearing a shirt that says Bears and now there's an old guy coming in the room."

"Good. You'll like this movie. It's _the Princess Bride_ , all chicks like this movie."

Buffy rolled her eyes, even if Dean wasn't there to see it. "All chicks. You know all women so well, don't you."

"I was right about the chocolate, wasn't I? Well, trust me, this movie is like chocolate."

"Fine, I'll give it a try."

Dean grinned. "Good. Well, enjoy the movie Becky and if you think of more questions, feel free to call. And if you decide you do want to stay here, just let me know. Like I said, I've got a great room, so it's totally fine with me."

 

Less than ten minutes later, Buffy called back. "Dean, this movie is so sappy. I can't believe you thought I'd like it. Oh farm-boy! Oh Buttercup! Makes me wanna puke. Her true love gets killed by pirates and she locks herself in her room and cries? I would have gone after the pirates."

Dean laughed. "What part are you on now?"

"You're not watching it? But you expect me to?"

"I've seen it and the Rangers are playing Baltimore on channel 9." Dean changed the channel to the movie. "Wait, this is when it gets good." They watched in silence for a moment.

After Princess Buttercup had been kidnapped, Dean started to chuckle. "What are you laughing at?" Buffy wanted to know.

"The rhyming. My brother, Sammy, and I did that to my dad one time. He got so angry." Dean laughed. "God, that was funny. Anything my dad would say, Sam would rhyme it and I'd crack up."

Buffy couldn't help but smile at Dean's story. "You and your brother watched a chick flick together, that's.."

"Shut up," Dean teased back. "We were kids and Sammy had strep throat and was sick, just like the boy in the movie, and our motel had premium cable. So, yeah, we watched it."

Buffy was about to reply when the storm kicked up a notch and a loud crash of thunder made her jump. "Holy cow. That was loud. Was it like this last night?"

Dean watched the lightening flash. "No, it was worse."

Buffy shuddered as the rain pelted her window even harder than before. "How were able to drive in a storm like this?"

"Very carefully."

 

Buffy watched the rest of the movie. If Dean thought it wasn't bad, she'd be willing to give it a try. She figured it would help her decide if she could stay with Dean. If he liked really bad movies, maybe they wouldn't get along.

As she watched, she found herself able to predict some of the action and dialogue. But there was a fight scene in a castle that caused Buffy to sit up in surprise. It felt so familiar to her. She knew the moves, her body nearly twitched with muscle memory.

"Jeanine!" Buffy rushed to the nurses' station. "I remember something!"

Jeanine's eyes grew wide. "Tell me. What happened?"

"I was watching this movie Dean told me about, _The Princess Bride_ , and I remember it. I've seen it before!"

The nurse gave Buffy a patient smile. "I was hoping you remembered something about yourself, but at least it's something."

 

When the game Dean was watching was between innings the channel broadcast a news update. Becky's picture was plastered on the screen and anyone with information about her was directed to call the sheriff's office. Dean was shocked. If Doctor Phil thought Becky was repressing an awful memory and had witnessed something terrible, couldn't this put her in danger?

He reached for the phone. Normally, he wasn't the type to call the authorities, but he couldn't help feeling protective of Becky. His hand hovered over the phone for a second and the television screen went red and flashed a weather service warning before the power went out.

"My baby had better be in the garage," he said to the dark, empty room.

* * *

The power was out for only a moment before the generator started and the emergency lights flashed on. Buffy hopped off her bed, made her way to the door, and looked down the hall. A flashlight beam landed in her face. "Becky, don't worry. We'll be moving everyone to the interior rooms or the basement, shortly. Just stay in your room for now," directed Jeanine as she hurried to a patient's room.

Buffy walked to the window of her room and peeked through the blinds. She thought she saw hail falling, but the lightening was so bright that it was difficult to be sure. She heard Jeanine call from the hallway, "Okay everyone, we will be making our way to the stairway by my station. If you don't know your way there, wait by your door and a staff member will assist you."

Quickly and quietly, Buffy followed the other patients down the stairs. Jerry, the orderly, led the way, while Jeanine brought up the rear. On the next two floors, they met up with other patients and continued on to the basement.

It only took a few minutes for Buffy to become uncomfortable sitting in the basement. She had the incessant feeling of being watched. She looked at her fellow patients, but they all seemed too consumed with their own problems to give her more than a passing glance. But she couldn't shake it, something was making her wig out. 'Wig out?' she thought to herself, 'who says that?' She saw the orderly she had followed and stopped him. "Jerry, can I go back upstairs? I don't feel so good."

Jerry smiled at her. "Sorry, miss, but there's a tornado. We've got to stay put until we get the all-clear." He crouched in front of her. "Do you want me to get one of the nurses to see if you need your meds or something?"

Buffy nodded nervously. Unable to pinpoint what was making her so nervous, she got up and paced the small hall. "Becky? What's wrong, hun?" Jeanine asked from behind her.

Buffy spun around. "I don't like it here," she whispered. "I'm totally wigging out."

Jeanine gently put a soothing arm around Buffy and whispered "It's the morgue. No one likes being down here." Jeanine kept her arm around her patient, she could feel the girl trembling. "Being down here, on top of another storm like last night? It's no wonder you're a little freaked out."

Buffy nodded and smiled weakly.

"I'm sure we'll get the all-clear soon, then I'll give you something to help you sleep, okay?"

"Thanks, Jeanine."

 

 

Less than thirty minutes later, the lights came back on and the all-clear sounded. After Jeanine and the orderlies led the patients back to their respective floors, the mild sedative the nurse gave Buffy began to work.

She dreamed of being in the hospital basement. There was a girl with long hair crying and Buffy was trying to comfort her, but something stole her attention away. A tall, demonic man, dressed in black clothes and a black hat, with long and pointed fingers walked passed the door. He turned to face Buffy and his eyes came out of his head on long stalks. Buffy screamed herself awake.

"Just a dream," she panted. "Just a dream." She looked around her room, terrified she'd see the man again. She regained control of her breathing and laid back down. "Must be the storm and the trip to the morgue that have me wigging out." She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Think good thoughts." The only thought that came to her mind was Dean's smile when they were at the elevators.

* * *

Sam fretted as he finished his shift in the kitchen. It wasn't like Dean not to call for this long. Sam couldn't think of any other time Dean let being angry stop him from calling. Dean loved to call when he was angry. He'd call, bitch him out for a while, then, tell a stupid joke and Sam would know everything was all right between them. But, when Sam checked his voice mail, there were no messages from Dean. He had spent the last couple days pretending not to care; now he was worried.

Nervously, he dialed his brother's number only to have it go straight to voice-mail. "Uh, hey, Dean, you're not still mad, are you? Look, I'm sorry I had to leave like that, but," Sam paused not knowing what to say to his brother to get him to call, "call me, okay? I don't care if you call just to yell at me, just call me, man."

* * *

Dean awoke early the next morning to the sound of chainsaws. He rubbed his eyes and peeked out his window. The storm had done some severe damage. Trees were down, poles and street lights were down. The Bluebird's sign was dangling by a wire.

He experimentally flicked the light switch and discovered he was still without power. He threw on some clothes and headed outside to see the extent of the damage.

He was halfway across the parking lot when the motel owner approached him. "Mr. Johnson, I'm so sorry the motel has no power this morning. My generator blew. We'll have it up and running in no time." The man looked worried that Dean would move out of his motel.

"No problem, Mr. Lee. Do you know where I could get some coffee? Is the diner open?"

"Yes, Point Diner is open, but the sheriff is using it as a meeting place of sorts. But you are more than welcome to come to the office. We have coffee and Mrs. Lee made sandwiches."

His breakfast with the Lee family wasn't completely uncomfortable. Mrs. Lee made excellent coffee and as one of the motel's two guests, Dean was given his fill of sandwiches. The radio told them about the extent of the tornado's damage. Most of the town was without power, several outlying buildings were flattened, but no one had died.

After breakfast, Dean helped Mr. Lee remove the Bluebird's sign, before more damage was done. Then, he crossed the street to help move a fallen light pole off of a parked car. The utility worker talked about the other jobs they had to get to, and mentioned the hospital.

"What happened at the hospital?" Dean felt a pang of concern that the hospital had been damaged.

"Just some wind damage mostly," the man answered, "nothing too serious."

 

 

Dean's concern faded the moment he returned to the motel parking lot. Buffy and Jeanine were getting out of a small car. "Hey!" he called out, "Looks like you've decided to give the Bluebird a try."

Buffy gave him a small smile. "Is it still okay if I stay here?"

"Yeah, of course," Dean replied while trying not to look too happy to see her.

"Thanks. The hospital needs the bed." Jeanine turned to Buffy. "I'll be back in a couple hours, okay?" Buffy nodded. "Dean, what room are you in?"

"Seventeen."

Jeanine nodded, waved and drove off. Dean watched her drive away then asked, "Why is she coming back in a couple hours? Are you only staying that long?"

Buffy hesitated. Did Dean only want her to stay a short time? Was he regretting inviting her? "Uh, she's taking me shopping. All I have is what I'm wearing."

"Right," Dean responded, looking her over, making Buffy feel like she had been stripped bare. "Are you ready for the grand tour of your new accommodations?"

 

Once inside, Dean opened the curtains to allow for some light. Then he hurriedly picked up some dirty clothes that were on the floor and did a quick check for his Busty Asian Beauties magazine to make sure it was out of sight. "Sorry about the mess. The maid was busy being a mom this morning."

Buffy didn't notice Dean's self-conscious behavior. "It's nice," she said as she checked out the newly remodeled room. "It has a kitchen. You cook?"

"Hell yeah, I am Chef Boyardee."

"What?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose to show her confusion. "You're who?"

Dean shook his head. "Never mind. It's, uh, canned spaghetti."

Buffy chuckled. "I know. I'm just giving you a hard time." Seeing the unmade bed, Buffy walked over to the other one and bounced on it. "I guess this one is mine, huh?"

"Yeah, I've got this thing with the bed by the door. I've kinda always taken it every time my brother and I share a motel room."

"It's fine. I'm just glad to be out of the hospital. Last night, during the storm, they had us wait it out in the basement. I ended up by the morgue." Buffy shuddered at the memory. "The place gave me the wiggins."

"'Wiggins'?" Dean repeated, brows raised in amusement. "That's a new one."

"Whatever." Buffy made a face at him. "Hey, I did remember seeing that movie before, so that's good, right?"

"Yeah, did you tell Dr. Phil that?"

"No. The guy's got enough to worry about. A tree fell into the psych ward last night. That's why I had to find a place to stay."

"And here I thought you liked my company," Dean said, making it sound like he was offended.

"I didn't mean -" Buffy stammered, but she saw Dean's smirk and knew he had been teasing her. "I'm very grateful you're letting me stay with you. I was one of the lucky ones with a place to go. Thank you."

Dean waved off her thanks. "Hey, about last night, did you know your picture was on the news?"

"Yeah, the sheriff thought it was a good idea. He said that maybe someone would see it and know who I was and come forward."

Dean nodded. "What did Dr. Phil think of that idea?"

"I don't know. Why would he think anything of it?"

"Didn't you say he thought you might have seen something and you're repressing it or suppressing it or whatever?"

"Yeah," Buffy answered, her eyes widening with understanding. "So maybe it's not so good if my picture and location are broadcast around, huh?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't know and I don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe you should tell the Sheriff what Dr. Phil said."

Buffy bit her lip and seemed lost in thought, so Dean took the opportunity to study her. "You want to borrow a shirt or something?" Buffy looked at him quizzically. "It's just that sweater is gonna get hot. I don't know when the power will be restored and we don't have A/C until it is." He didn't wait for her to answer, he simply tossed her a t-shirt from his pack.

"Thanks."

 

When she returned from the bathroom, Dean was still looking at her oddly. "What's wrong? If I didn't tie it, it'd be way too big."

Dean shook his head. "That's not it. Why were you wearing a sweater? It's late May, we're in Texas. Not exactly sweater weather."

"I don't know, maybe I was cold."

Dean didn't look like he agreed. "It's not the kind of sweater you'd just throw on because you got cold. It's what you wore when you left your place that day." Buffy looked doubtful, but Dean wasn't deterred. "You're not from around here, that's for sure."

"And you know this how, Sherlock?"

"Well, Watson, besides the sweater, you don't sound the least bit Texan."

Buffy was slightly awed by that deduction; why had no one else mentioned that? Dean let himself smirk when he saw Buffy's reaction. "I'm thinking Dr. Phil might be onto something. Maybe you were running from something or someone, and you hitched a ride with a trucker or something."

"Then why was I all alone in the middle of a highway in a storm?" Buffy asked in a tone that showed she was agreeing with Dean's logic.

Dean rubbed his chin as he thought. He didn't want to think that something bad had happened to this girl, but why else was she in the road? His mind kept returning to her fighting off unwanted advances – or worse- and she was abandoned at the side of the road.

"Well, what if your ride couldn't take you all the way to your destination, just part of the way, and you tried to walk the rest of the way?" Dean suggested. "I remember the doctor saying something about you being dehydrated and stuff."

"I guess that could have happened." Buffy nodded slowly as she considered his words. "But then why didn't I have anything with me?"

Dean shrugged. "Maybe your ride stole it. Or maybe you got too hot and tired carrying it and you dumped it."

Buffy suddenly brightened. "Do you think my stuff might still be out there on the side of the road somewhere?"

"After four days and two storms? I doubt it." He didn't like her crestfallen expression. "But we won't know until we look."

"You'll take me to look?" Buffy asked with all the excitement of a kid on Christmas.

"Well, I don't have a car, but maybe when Jeanine comes back we can -" Dean couldn't finish his sentence. Buffy in her gratitude was hugging the air out of him.

"Thanks, Dean!"

 

 

Jeanine allowed Dean to borrow her car while she and Buffy shopped at the Walmart in the next town. He drove to where he had found Buffy and pulled over.

A large scorched mark scarred the pavement at the site, but there was nothing else. There were no belongings left on the road. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but barren land. He hopped back in the car and drove further out, retracing his path. He drove slowly, but he found nothing.

The acid in his stomach churned as he thought of what might have led 'Becky' to be alone on the highway during that storm. What was she running from? Maybe the doctor was right. Maybe she had seen something terrible. He pulled out his cell to call the sheriff and have him take 'Becky's' ad off the air, but he still had no signal.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean had worried about disappointing 'Becky' when he didn't find anything of hers on the road. However, when he saw the amount of loot she asked him to carry into the motel room, the feeling disappeared.

"Jeanine, thank you so much." Buffy gave the nurse another hug.

"It wasn't a big deal, Becky. I knew you were about the same size as my sister. My mom would make her take 'em to the Goodwill, anyway, so you're doing her a favor," the nurse replied as she looked around the room. She whistled in appreciation. "Wow, the Lees have really fixed this place up."

Dean dropped the final load of bags onto Buffy's bed. "What is all this crap?"

"Girl stuff. You know, make up, hair care, tampons..." Jeanine answered with teasing smile.

"Geez, all right. I so don't need to know," Dean said in response, shuddering as he turned away from the two giggling girls. "I was hoping you'd have bought some food. I'm starving."

Buffy began to search the bags, knowing she had bought some food, when Jeanine interrupted her. "Oh, hey, guys I meant to tell you, the Owl's Nest is having a big cookout today to help all the people still without power. Y'all should stop by. They have great food. They're just asking for donations to help those that got hit by the tornado."

Buffy lit up. "We should totally go. I can give them some of my Red Cross money."

"Becky, that money is for you, for necessities," Jeanine reminded her with a small shake of her head.

"Food is a necessity," Dean said, hoping he'd at least get a free meal out of it.

Jeanine shook her head. "Do what ya want. I'm going to stop by before my shift, so maybe I'll see you there." She took her keys back from Dean and said, "I'll be damn happy when I'm done with the night shift. Take care, y'all."

Once Jeanine left, Buffy pulled some clothes from the bags and asked, "Do you want to go swimming? I was thinking of checking out the pool and cooling off a bit." She nervously bit her lip.

Dean took a second to answer, his eyes boring into her the whole time. "Uh, actually, I was going to go check on my car, make sure it wasn't damaged in the storm."

"Oh, okay," Buffy dropped the clothes she was holding and chose something else. "Let me go change, and I'll go with you."

Dean watched her stroll into the bathroom. Living with a cute girl was not going to be easy. He flopped back on his bed and reviewed all of the reasons it would be wrong to try anything with this girl. Besides the fact that Jeanine had already accused him of wanting to take advantage of her, there was the fact that 'Becky' didn't know who she was or where she was from. What if she was married?

  
**#*#*#*#**   


Buffy applied a quick swipe of mascara and stepped back to check her look in the mirror. The sundress was nice and light; it didn't make her look like a kid and it didn't make her look like a slut. She had her hair up in a clip to keep it off her neck, and with some mascara, she felt she looked pretty good.

"You okay?" she asked when she saw Dean laying on the bed. She sat across from him and strapped on her new espadrilles.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered as he sat up.

He spoke too soon. From his current vantage point he could see straight down her dress. He'd stand to get away but, that would put his crotch level with her face if she sat up – not an option. So, he did the only thing he could do, lay back down and hum Ramble On.

He was trying to think of anything but the girl when he felt the bed dip next to him.

"Dean? Are you sure you're okay?" Buffy gently touched his cheek and found it warm.

"I'm fine. Maybe a little tired," he said, sitting up quickly, forcing Buffy to move back. "Storm kept me up last night." He stepped around her, making a mental note to push the beds further apart, and asked, "Ready to go?"

Buffy jumped up. "Yep, maybe we can check out the town a little, too."

Dean looked over his shoulder with a quirked brow. "Someone's a little stir crazy, huh?"

Buffy shrugged. "Well, I have been kinda locked in a hospital room for a few days. So, yeah, definitely."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


When they crossed the parking lot, Dean saw the motel owner carrying a couple gallons of paint and called to him. "Mr. Lee! This is my friend, Becky. Can she have a key to my room?"

"Sure, just go to the office and one of the kids will get it for you. Nice to meet you, Becky. Enjoy your stay," the man smiled as he walked into a guest room.

"Wow. He's of the friendly, isn't he?"

Her word choice made Dean pause, but he said, "Yeah, the Lees are awesome."

* * *

At Cliff's garage, the first thing Dean noticed was the tow truck was gone, which meant Cliff must be out on a run. The second thing he noticed was his baby parked in a bay towards the back of the shop and a guy bent over working on her.

"There she is," Dean noted. He took a few steps into the garage before he turned to Buffy. "Maybe you should wait here. I don't want your dress to get all dirty."

"Okay." Buffy hung back and watched Dean cross the garage.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


"Richie, how's it coming along?" Dean called once he was near enough.

Richie pulled back from the car. "Hey, Dean. She's coming along real good. Just finished the radiator. I'm adding the coolant right now. Why don't you get in and start her up for me?"

Across the garage, one of Cliff's other employee's approached Buffy. "Well, hello there. What can I do for you, little lady?" the man drawled as he looked Buffy over.

Buffy smiled. "Nothing, I'm just waiting for my friend. His car is getting worked on." She pointed in Dean's direction.

The man followed her eye line to the Impala. "The Impala? That's a sweet ride. That's from back when America still made real cars. Not the plastic crap on the road today."

"I guess, I wouldn't know," Buffy answered.

"What? Your boyfriend has a beauty like that and he hasn't taken you for a ride yet?"

Buffy smiled, "He's not my boyfriend, he's just a friend. And he hasn't had the chance; the car's been here since Wednesday."

"Not your boyfriend, huh? Does that mean the rest of us guys have a chance?"

Buffy giggled and read the man's name tag and answered, "Why Todd, I'm flattered, but I'm not ready to date anyone right now."

"That's too bad, but I understand, I've had bad break ups, too. When you are ready, you should give me a call." He went to the small counter and grabbed a business card. After writing something on the back, he gave it to Buffy. "There's my number. You feel free to call me anytime, day or night."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


"One more time," Richie called from under the hood.

"What?" Dean snapped. His focus was on the scene across the garage, not on the mechanic in front of him.

"One more time."

Dean turned the key and listened as the engine finally turned over. He smiled as he listened to his baby purr. But his happiness was dampened when he looked over to where he left Buffy. Was she actually flirting with that guy?

Not that it mattered, Dean reminded himself. The girl could talk to whoever she wanted. It's not like Dean had a claim on her or anything. Was that guy giving her his number? Dean fumed. It was time to leave.

* * *

After the garage, they walked through a park. They weren't talking much. Dean was thinking about why it bothered him when he saw that guy talking to 'Becky'. He decided it was because he couldn't trust anyone. He had no idea who had abandoned her or if that person hurt her; so it was better to not let anyone get too close to her.

Buffy didn't like quiet Dean, it seemed like something was bothering him. Maybe she needed to get him talking about something. "Hey, didn't you say your dad was a detective?"

Dean paused, wondering where she was going with this question. "Uh, yeah."

"Cool. Are you going be one, too? You said something about him working in Alabama or something?"

Surprised she remembered all that, Dean gave a half shrug. "Yeah, I don't know. It's kinda the family business, so I guess. I've been helping him out pretty much my whole life."

"Cool. What about your brother? What college does he go to?"

"Sam just got into Stanford. The kid got himself a full scholarship."

Buffy could hear the pride in Dean's voice, but even if she couldn't, his smile would have shown how proud he was. "Wow, that's impressive. What's he going to study?"

"Don't know if he knows yet. He said something about law." Dean chuckled quietly, "He said with how much trouble our family's been in, we could probably use a good lawyer in the family."

Buffy smiled to herself, quite happy she had made Dean smile like that.

* * *

The cookout Jeanine mentioned was packed with townspeople, but it was more like a party than people bemoaning their situation. Buffy spotted Jeanine, who waved them over.

"Glad you made it. Becky, Dean, this is my boyfriend, Jim. Jim, this is the girl I told you about."

Jim shook their hands. "Hi, it's good to meet you. Why don't you go grab some chow and join us? We'll save you a seat."

"Thanks, we'll be right back." Dean led Buffy to the food line and grabbed two plates, ready to take advantage of the free food. When he turned to hand her a plate, Buffy wasn't there. Anxiously he looked around until he found her with the sheriff.

"Sorry, miss, this storm has kept me and my deputies pretty busy. I haven't had time to look into your case that much," Sheriff Brown admitted with regret.

"I totally understand. I just wanted you to know that I'm out of the hospital. I'm staying with Dean at the Bluebird."

"The young man that found you on the road?" the sheriff asked, though he knew the answer. He glanced at Dean in the food line.

"Yes. And it was either stay with him or the Psych ward, but a tree crashed into the ward last night, so that left Dean and the Bluebird," Buffy explained.

The sheriff's wife recognized the look on her husband's face. The man was suspicious of Dean's motives. "Have you eaten, yet?" she asked. "You really should. You and your friend can join us if you'd like."

"No, and thanks, I was about to when I realized I should tell you where I'm staying," Buffy replied. "Dean also thought my picture shouldn't be on the news."

The sheriff took a deep breath and puffed out his chest. "Did he now?" He hardly noticed his wife's hand on his arm.

"Yeah, he -" Buffy was cut off by Dean's sudden appearance next to her with two plates of food.

"Hello Sheriff, Ma'am. Here, Becky." He handed her an overflowing plate. "I didn't know what you like so I got you some of everything."

Buffy laughed. "I guess I don't either, but it all looks good."

"Well if the brisket is as good as it smells, it's gonna be awesome," Dean offered with a smile.

The sheriff fixed Dean with a look. "Becky was telling me you don't think her picture should be on the news."

Dean's smile faded. He recognized the accusation in the sheriff's tone. "It's just that her doctor said she might have witnessed something bad and is repressing it. So, I thought maybe it'd be safer if she wasn't on the news. That's all."

"That so?" the sheriff asked in the same tone.

"Oh, and he figured out I'm not from around here!" Buffy gushed excitedly. Dean cringed inwardly; he knew the sheriff wasn't as trusting of him as Becky was.

The sheriff's brows shot up. "Well, _Columbo_ , do tell."

Dean answered with a breath, "She doesn't have a Texas accent."

Mrs. Sera Brown looked from Dean to her husband and smiled. "She doesn't, does she?"

Her husband relaxed a bit next to her. "Hmm," he nodded. "I hadn't really noticed. I'll talk to Dr. Sgriccia, if he thinks we shouldn't broadcast your picture, we won't."

Buffy grinned at Dean, for some reason she felt proud of him, but his eyes were downcast and his jaw clenched. "Well, we should let you get back to your dinner, sir. Sorry for bothering you," Dean said quietly and he stepped back to allow Buffy to walk first.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Buffy took the hint and walked towards where they had left Jeanine and Jim. Dean's change in behavior made Buffy think she had done something wrong. "I saw the sheriff and thought I should tell him where I was in case he had learned anything," she explained.

"Good idea," Dean replied without much conviction.

"Dean, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he quickly assured her. "It's just, the sheriff doesn't trust my motives. He and Jeanine think I want something from you."

"I don't have anything. What could you possibly want?"

Dean smiled at her innocence. "You have plenty. Believe me." His grin grew when he saw understanding creep with a blush over Buffy's features. "Don't worry, I wouldn't. I mean, I won't try anything. I promise."

"It's okay, I trust you." Buffy felt a sudden tightness in her chest. She hadn't thought people would think Dean was doing anything unseemly. She felt a bit guilty for making him seem untrustworthy. "If you were going to hurt me, you would have done it while I was unconscious. You wouldn't have taken me to the hospital."

Dean gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

* * *

When they got back to the Bluebird, the power had been restored. Dean did what he usually did, crank the a/c to its highest setting and turn on the TV. After checking the amount of money he had left- not much- he put his wallet on the coffee table and got comfortable on his bed.

Buffy watched him for a minute, and then began to put away the clothes from Jeanine and the items she bought earlier.

"Hey, Beck, _Night of the Living Dead_ is on. Come watch it," Dean called to her.

Buffy stood by her bed and wondered if it was her imagination or if there was more room between the beds now. "Is this supposed to be scary?" she asked, as she sat on her own bed.

Dean made a face as he decided. "Well, maybe 'supposed to be' but it actually isn't. However, it's a total classic. I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe you'll remember something, again."

Buffy smiled at him. "Cool, thanks."

Dean wore a sly grin. "And if you get scared, I'll protect you from the evil fake zombies."

"My hero," Buffy sighed dramatically with a hand over her heart.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


When the movie was over, Buffy was shivering, but not from the movie. The air conditioner had chilled the room so much that Buffy was sure she could see her breath. She changed into flannel cow print pajamas and crawled under the covers.

Dean got the hint and rolled his eyes. He adjusted the temperature so it wasn't quite so frigid. Unfortunately, this meant he was too warm, leaving him no option but to sleep above the covers in only his boxers.

* * *

That night Buffy's dreams were filled with odd creatures. They would start off looking human, but then their faces would morph into something quite awful. They would grow fangs and their eyes would turn yellow. Although she found them frightening, in her dreams that fright turned into adrenaline. She was able to fight them and even destroy them.

On the next bed, Dean was also dreaming. His dreams were of a long highway stretching out ahead of him. As he drove, the weather worsened, and soon a huge storm raged. The Impala was skidding out of control. No matter which way Dean turned the wheel, he was ineffectual. He felt helpless until he realized someone was in the car with him. 'Becky' was in the passenger seat, laughing and smiling. At first, Dean was irritated that she thought the situation was funny, until he looked forward and noticed the sky had cleared and the car was once again responsive to his steering.

* * *

The next three days fell into a routine. Dean was always awake first. He was showered and making coffee by the time Buffy rolled out of bed. When Buffy was done with breakfast and showered, they would go to see either Dr. Sgriccia or the sheriff. Buffy would either try to remember who she was or she'd see if the sheriff had learned anything about her.

 

On the fourth day, Jeanine greeted them outside Dr. Sgriccia's office. "Hey, guys. Whatcha doin' tonight?"

Buffy and Dean exchanged looks and both shrugged. "Nothin'," Dean answered.

"Good, I'm done with the night shift and I have tomorrow off, so me and Jim are goin' out. You guys should join us."

"Okay," Buffy replied eagerly. "Where are we going?"

Jeanine pursed her lips in thought. "How about the Clubhouse? It's just behind the Bluebird. Y'all know it?"

Dean nodded, "Sure. What time?"

The nurse shrugged. "I da' know. How 'bout seven? We'll get food and drinks. It'll be fun." Before either Dean or Buffy could say anything else, the nurse grabbed Dean's hand. "Well, let's get these stitches out while Becky's visiting the doctor."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Buffy got comfortable on Dr. Sgriccia's couch. She still refused to be hypnotized, but she hoped the doctor would help her recover her memory. "Do you remember what you dreamed about last night?" the doctor asked once he sat in his chair.

"I dreamed about that girl again."

"The one with brown hair?"

"Yeah. She was there. So were those monster looking things. But, last night me and Dean watched a comedy, uh, Caddyshack, no monsters."

"Well, Becky, you have to remember, the 'monsters' are a symbol or a metaphor usually for something you don't like about yourself. There are no such things as monsters."

Buffy rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, I know. I'm just telling you what was in my dream."

Taken back by her attitude, the doctor tried again. "Well what kind of feeling does the girl create in you? Does it feel like you know her? What type of relationship do you have with this girl in your dreams?"

Buffy made a face as she thought. "I find her annoying. And she's whiny." She watched the doctor write some notes. "At the same time, I feel like I have to make sure she's okay. You know? I have to keep the 'monsters' away from her."

"Hmm, you think she's irritating, yet you need to protect her. Sounds like a sibling."

Buffy wrinkled her nose in thought. "A sibling?"

Dr. Sgriccia smiled. "Sure. Most people who have a brother or sister, especially a younger sibling, tend to feel that way about them. It's okay for you to pick on them or tease them, but let anyone else try and there's hell to pay."

"So you think this girl might be my sister?"

The doctor didn't want to give her false hope, but he did think this recurring dream was encouraging. "Well, this isn't the first time this girl featured in your dreams. I think she may symbolize someone important to you. A sister wouldn't be a stretch."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Once they were alone, Jeanine tried to get information out of Dean. "So what's it like living with Becky? Has she remembered anything?"

"She hasn't remembered anything new that I know of," Dean winced as she cut the first stitches. "But sharing a room has been easy. She's fun. I thought it would be weird because we don't know each other, but 'Becky' is pretty laid back."

"Well that's a relief, right? I mean, she could have been a total beotch, and you'd be screwed for telling her she could stay with you."

Dean nodded. "Right? I guess I got lucky."

"As long as you don't get _too_ lucky," Jeanine said with just enough threat in her voice that Dean instantly got the hint.

* * *

After a dinner of one of the best burgers Dean had ever tasted, Buffy and Jeanine excused themselves to the ladies room.

Dean's eyes were glued to Buffy as she walked out of the room. "They always go in pairs, you know," Jim said with a nod as he noticed what had Dean's attention.

"Yeah, I know. I've always thought that was kinda weird."

"You, me and just about every guy on the planet." Jim signaled the bartender for another round. "How long are you in town?"

"Just until my car's fixed." Dean's answer surprised Jim. "Or longer, I don't know."

Jim smirked, "Don't know? Is Becky the reason you don't know?"

Dean shredded his beer bottle label, trying desperately to appear nonchalant. "I don't know, maybe. I kinda want to make sure she finds her family. Or at least remembers who she is." He eagerly accepted the new beer from the bartender.

Jim had listened with a skeptical raised brow. "You think she's cute." Dean rolled his eyes to show his indifference, but Jim wasn't buying. After taking a swig from his beer, Jim continued. "Hey, I don't blame you, she is cute. And she also seems real nice."

Dean shook his head, not willing to admit even to himself what he thought of 'Becky'. "She might be nice, but she's a lot harder to live with than I thought. Seriously, she should've come with a warning."

Jim looked at Dean in confusion. "What do you mean? What does she do?"

"Nothin'," Dean shrugged, but Jim gave him a look that told him he should continue. "Normally, I'd be all over a girl like Becky. It's just that I told your girlfriend and the sheriff that I wasn't trying anything with her, just looking out for her, you know?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Well, _not_ trying anything with her is a lot harder than I thought it would be." Dean saw that Jim looked more confused. "She's got these pink shorts – they say _juicy_ right across the ass. Yesterday, she did this thing where she was bent in half and said 'I think I was a cheerleader'. I almost lost it right there." Dean shook his head but Jim was already chuckling. "But, if I try anything, your girl will have my nuts in a sling."

Jim laughed loudly at Dean's predicament. "Yeah, that sounds like a threat Jeanine would use."

Dean nodded and took a swallow of beer. "Right? And now, Becky thinks I'm a germ freak or something."

"Why she think that?"

"'Cause I'm taking two, three showers a day. And it has nothing to do with the weather."

Jim laughed again.

Dean shook his head. "Great, laugh it up. You're not the guy not getting' any."

"Come on it's not that bad, is it?" Jim asked still chuckling.

"Oh no, not at all," Dean replied with an exaggerated eye roll. "But I am thinking of getting my hand something special for Christmas this year."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


"So, how's it going living with Dean? You guys having fun?" Jeanine teased.

"Yeah, it's great," Buffy replied with a smile. "Usually, it's great. I mean, yeah, everything's fine."

Jeanine paused, studying Buffy to see if she could figure out what was really going on. Feeling concerned, she turned serious. "Did something happen? Do you want to leave?"

"Oh no, nothing happened. I like staying with him. That's the problem." Buffy turned to face Jeanine. "I'm not blind; Dean is good looking, right?"

Jeanine relaxed. "Yeah, he's not what I'd call ugly, that's for sure."

"Well, that's just it. He walks around without a shirt. He sleeps in just his underwear," Buffy ran a hand through her hair. "It's making me crazy. I know I've only known him for two weeks, but I wanna jump the guy." She noticed Jeanine grinning. "I know, makes me a total slut."

"No, not a slut and definitely not crazy. Why don't you tell him you're uncomfortable when he does that?"

"What! And have him stop? I don't think so!" Buffy responded making the nurse laugh. "To make matters worse, he's super nice and funny and fun to be with. Ugh," Buffy groaned.

Jeanine barely suppressed her giggle. "So, you've got a little crush, no big deal. Just don't let it get the best of you."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


When the girls finally returned, Jim handed them the beers he had ordered. "How about a game of darts? Losers buy the winners shots."

Dean looked at Jim trying to figure out his motives. "What's teams? Girls against the guys?"

"No," Jeanine said adamantly. "You and Becky against me and Jim."

Jim exchanged looks with Dean and shrugged before following Jeanine to the dart boards. Dean put his hand low on Buffy's back and whispered in her ear. "Think you've ever played darts before?"

Feeling Dean's hand on her back and his breath on her ear, sent electricity down Buffy's spine. "I don't know," she replied in a strained whisper.

Taking pity on Buffy, the others let her throw last. "Hey, it doesn't matter how awful you throw," Dean said quietly into her ear as she stood up to the line. "Just relax and have fun."

Buffy closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders. _Relax, right_ , she thought to herself, _then stop breathing into my ear like that_. After a mental head slap, she shook out her wrist and threw the dart. The others were silent as she threw her first dart into the bulls-eye. Wide-eyed in surprise, Buffy turned to Dean, whose surprised expression matched hers. Her next two darts also scored bulls-eyes.

Momentarily too stunned to speak, the group was silent until Buffy turned to Dean. "Holy crap! Did you see that?"

Dean whooped and started laughing. Buffy looked at the dartboard then back at Dean. "Maybe I'm a dart champ or something."

"Maybe," Dean said, still laughing as he took in the shocked look on Jim's face.

Jim whined, "Great, she's a frickin' ringer."

When it was time for her next throw, Dean handed her the darts and rested a hand on her hip. He leaned close and said, "Okay, sweetheart, just like last time, but this time you won't need all three to be bulls-eyes."

Buffy nodded and took a deep breath. Had Dean just called her 'sweetheart'? Again, she had to mentally shake herself, concentrate she reminded herself.

When Buffy hit the triple seven, making them win, she found Dean's arms around her lifting her off the ground in a hug. "You did it, Becky!" When he put her down, he kept his arm casually around her shoulder. "Come on, Jim, time for shots!"

Jim groaned, but led the way to the bar calling over his shoulder, "I want a rematch!"

Dean gave Buffy's shoulders a squeeze before he answered, "You got it, man. Becky can kick your ass a second time, no problem."

Jeanine considered Buffy for a moment, and smiled to herself. "Let's get the shots over with first. What is everybody drinking?"

  
**#*#*#*#**  


As they gathered at the bar, Buffy pointed to a mounted animal that stood by the register. "What the heck is that?"

Dean and Jim exchanged knowing looks. "That, my dear Becky, is the fierce jack-a-lope."

"Jack-a-lope?" Buffy asked leaning in for a better look at the creature. "I don't think I've ever heard of one; which of course is no surprise. It looks like a really big rabbit that someone glued antlers onto."

Jeanine opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by Jim's hand squeezing her arm.

"A jack-a-lope is an ancient breed of Jackrabbit and antelope. But, they are vicious creatures known to attack people," Dean replied.

Buffy looked at Dean in skepticism. "You've got to be kidding."

"Dean is underplaying how dangerous the jack-a-lope can be. They have been known to kill people," Jim added, handing Buffy a beer.

"Are you serious?" Buffy asked. "That little thing?"

"Tiny but deadly. Stay out of the dessert," Jim warned.

Buffy looked at the others. Jeanine was buying the shots and Dean was nodding solemnly at her. "Okay," Buffy mumbled, though she doubted the small creature was as deadly as they were making it out to be. After taking a drink from her beer, she whispered to Dean, "He's joking, right?

Too distracted by her closeness and the way the light struck her eyes, Dean ruined Jim's joke. "Yeah, it's a joke," Dean reassured her in a whisper so Jim wouldn't hear.

Jeanine handed each of them a shot glass of green liquor. "Alrighty, drink up."

Dean and Buffy sniffed it then shrugged then drank it. Buffy's eyes immediately lit up. "Oh my god, what was that? It tasted like candy. I want another one."

Jim smirked at Dean then answered Buffy. "Sure, sweetie, you just have to win another dart game. Ready?"

"Oh Jim, I'm so very ready," Buffy said, brimming with confidence. She grabbed Dean's hand, "Let's go, partner." Dean squeezed her hand in return and let her lead him through the bar.

The hunter and the slayer easily won the next game, and enjoyed the winnings, which this time included a round of margaritas after the shots. Buffy soon discovered that margaritas tasted really, really good and Dean discovered it didn't take much to get Buffy really, really drunk.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


It wasn't long until Buffy and Jeanine were dancing on the table. When Dean attempted to get Buffy off the table, Jim stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Come on, man, let 'em dance. I need this, Jeanine never cuts loose."

Dean rolled his eyes. He definitely did not need more enticing images of Buffy; he was already losing the battle of self-control.

However, fate smiled on Dean, because when the song ended, Buffy and Jeanine got off the table and began singing Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville at the top of their lungs.

When the third pitcher of margaritas had disappeared without Dean or Jim having a single glass from it, Buffy jumped up to get them more. "I don't think we need anymore," Jim suggested, reaching for the pitcher.

Buffy swayed a bit as she stood before him. "Don' think 'bout it. I'll jus' get it."

Dean and Jim exchanged quick worried looks as Buffy stumbled-skipped her way to the bar. A young man grabbed her butt as she passed and Buffy squealed, "Hey!"

"Touch her again and I'll break every bone in your hand." Dean snarled having somehow arrived in front of the man nearly instantly.

The man stood and attempted to diffuse the situation. "Relax, dude, she didn't mind. Did you darlin'?" He leered at Buffy

"I minded."

"She minded. Don't touch her again," Dean growled.

Buffy spun on the man. "Yeah," she said, sounding drunkenly tough. "He'll hurt you." She emphasized her statement with a poke to the man's chest, not realizing her slayer strength.

The man collapsed onto his chair. Dean gave Buffy a look of slight surprise, but rationalized that the man must have stumbled. "Come on, Becky, it's time to go."

"No. I don't wanna go. I want more mahrgahreetas."

"We have margaritas at home. I'll make you one."

"You will? Oh, that's so sweet. Why are you always so sweet to me?" Buffy put her head on Dean's arm. "Do you like me?"

"I'm crazy about you," Dean said in a sarcastic monotone. "Now, come on." He put his arm around her and led her out of the bar.

* * *

Unfortunately, when the fresh air hit her, it seemed the alcohol hit her even stronger. Buffy wobbled on her feet. "Can you make it or do you need me to carry you?" Dean asked, noticing her staggering.

"I kin" was all she was able to say before she started to fall.

Dean scooped her up. "Come on Princess."

Buffy laid her head on his shoulder. "Mmm - You smell good."

Dean snorted. "Eau de dive bar. It's a classic."

Buffy squirmed in his arms, forcing Dean to tighten his hold on her. "Mmm- I wanna-" Her tongue touched his neck just below his ear and Dean's brain stumbled. Then, she began to softly suck on his neck and Dean's legs stumbled.

The fantasies Dean had been having of Buffy were beginning to come true and Dean's body was saying 'about damn time'. Buffy slid her hand from around his neck to down his chest to his shoulder, and made another "mmm" sound against his neck. She squeezed his shoulder and whispered, "God, I want you."

Dean groaned. If she kept kissing his neck and touching him like that, he wasn't going to make it into the room. He set her down to unlock the door, but Buffy moved in front of him. She stretched up on her toes and her fingers threaded through the hair on the back of his head to pull him into a kiss.

Dean didn't know how he got the door unlocked because Buffy's kiss was making all his blood rush south. Her hand explored Dean's chest before slowly making their way down his sides to rest at the waistband of his jeans. Then her fingers tucked inside and pulled him towards her.

They had been slowly making their way to Dean's bed and as the back of Buffy's legs touched it, she lost her balance and fell back. Her world spun for a moment then she grinned up at Dean. "Hi."

"Hi." Dean smiled in return and leaned over her to kiss her again. Buffy's hands roamed over his body, loving the feel of his muscles shifting and flexing as he held himself over her. Buffy moaned softly, thinking this was going to be as good as she'd been hoping.

 

Dean seemed to know just how she liked to be kissed and just how she liked to be touched. It didn't take long for Dean to turn her into a moaning, writhing, whimpering mess. Even if she could remember her other sexual experiences, Buffy was certain that this was better than all of them.

* * *

Buffy groaned as she attempted to sit up. With her eyes still closed, she flapped her hand around blindly until it connected with the bedside table and she was momentarily able to stop the world from spinning. Her tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of her mouth and several burly men with jack hammers were pounding away in her head. She heard a voice softly say, "Here." And a glass of water was placed in her hand. Greedily, she drained the glass and it was replaced with another one.

"Thanks," she croaked. Buffy opened her eyes to find Dean watching her carefully. She tried to smile reassuringly, but Dean wasn't convinced. Forcing herself to stand, Buffy wobbled to the bathroom. She splashed cool water on her face, but it didn't help her feel any better.

She looked at herself in the mirror and cringed. She looked as bad as she felt, but why was she wearing Dean's t shirt? She certainly didn't remember putting that on. She sobered even more when she realized she just crawled out of his bed. _Crap, did I sleep with him?_ she worried. _I don't remember!_ The thought made her panic and feel nauseous. After spending the next few minutes dry heaving over the toilet, Buffy washed her face and returned to the room.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Dean tried not to smirk, as hard as he could he tried, but a tiny smirk formed on his face as he asked, "You doing all right?"

Buffy blushed as she looked at him and nodded, but the movement of her head was painful and she grimaced when she sat on her bed.

"You need to drink more water. Think you can keep something down? Because you really should take some aspirin, too."

Buffy laid back and covered her face with her hand, "I am never drinking again."

"We all say that."

Still hiding behind her hand, Buffy groaned, "I feel like a jack-a-lope is trying to break out of my skull."

Dean chuckled. "That's what happens when you drink margaritas like they're Kool Aid."

"They tasted like Kool Aid," she whined. "Can you just kill me so I can get this over with?"

"Come on," Dean tried to sound encouraging. "Have something to eat, you'll feel better. How about crackers or ice cream, maybe?" He had no idea what would help her, he only knew what helped him when he was hung over.

"Okay, yeah, I'll try some crackers I guess."

Dean fetched a bag off the counter and brought them to her along with a Coke. "Here, and have some aspirin."

Buffy looked meekly at him. "Thanks. Uh, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." Dean flopped onto his bed and flipped on the television.

"Um," Buffy turned fifty shades of red. "Did we uh..." She looked at the bed, then at Dean, blushed another fifty shades of red and muttered, "um, you know..."

Dean muted the TV and slowly turned to her with a cocked brow. He was about to make a joke, but something about her scared expression hurt him and he paused. "Wow," he uttered shaking his head.

"Dean, I just," Buffy was surprised at the look on Dean's face; "I don't remember anything and I woke up in your bed, wearing your shirt."

"So now you think I'm the type of guy that takes advantage of a girl so drunk she's barely conscious." He turned back to the TV, but was too annoyed to pay it any attention.

Buffy pouted. She hadn't meant to anger Dean, but she truly had no memory of anything after the bar. How did she end up in his bed in his shirt? "Dean, I didn't mean anything bad. I just don't remember," she said weakly. Her head hurt too much to argue with him.

"Huh, so I'm either a perv or you think sleeping with me would be something you'd easily forget. You are _so_ good for my ego. Here I thought we were bffs after I held your hair for you." Dean turned back to the TV.

He took a deep breath "Well, after you nearly started a bar fight, we left. Then, you kissed me in the parking lot." From the corner of his eye, he saw Buffy's eyes widen. "You nearly fell down. I had to carry you back here. You tried to molest me again, and just when I thought I was gonna have to break out some crazy self-defense moves, you passed out. On my bed."

Buffy took a deep breath. "Oh."

"The shirt thing happened a couple hours later. You got up and almost made it to the bathroom, but puked before you did." Buffy groaned. "Yeah, that shirt you were wearing, I didn't think it could be saved, so I tossed it and gave you one of mine."

"Oh god, I am so sorry. I can't believe I thought you might have..." she groaned, this time in embarrassment. "Why do you put up with me?"

Dean turned to her with a small smile. "You're entertaining." _And you kiss good._

Buffy lay back and put the pillow over her head. _I'm a drunken slut. I cannot believe I attacked him. Actually, I can believe it, but ohmigod he must think I'm a total sleaze._ After a minute Buffy had the worst realization yet. _Ohmigod, I kissed him and I don't even remember it!_ She whimpered softly.

"Becky, come on you've got to eat something. Or at least drink something. You're dehydrated."

From under her pillow, Buffy moaned. "Just leave me here to die."

Dean chuckled, sat on her bed, and gently tugged on the pillow. "I didn't pick you up from the road in a storm just to let you die from margaritas."

"More like embarrassment," Buffy mumbled.

Buffy looked more embarrassed than Sam had the first time Dean caught him watching porn.

He figured if she was this upset about a kiss, he couldn't make her think she did more. Gently patting her leg, Dean said, "Hey, everyone has had too much to drink at some point in their life. And I was kidding about the molesting stuff, none of that stuff happened." The image of her laying back on the bed, looking up at him saying, "Hi" replayed in his mind and he hoped he'd someday see it again. Of course, he also hoped she wouldn't pass out right after saying it.

Buffy still blushed, but she looked up at him. "The puking?"

"Yeah, that happened. And, yes, I did hold your hair. But you took off your own shirt. I didn't want you thinking I had tried anything, so I gave you my t-shirt to wear." He went to the kitchenette and prepared an ice pack.

He pulled the pillow off Buffy's face and handed her the ice. "Here. I'm going to work on my car. Let you get some rest."

* * *

After a couple of hours of rest, Buffy took the longest shower of her life. She was supposed to see the sheriff that afternoon, and the last thing she wanted was to smell like alcohol. She straightened up the motel suite as best she could. She wished she could do something to show Dean she appreciated everything he'd done for her, but she had no idea what to do.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Since he no longer had stitches in his hand, Dean was able to work on his beloved car himself. Richie had done most of the work, already, but Dean finished the job. Then, in order to cover the cost of the parts he had needed, he worked on other cars around Cliff's garage.

 

Truthfully, Dean was avoiding returning to the motel. He knew Becky might remember some of what happened the night before and realize he had lied about kissing her. If he had lied about that, she might think he had lied about just how far things had progressed last night. Sure, he knew nothing happened, but he wasn't the girl who woke up in someone else's clothes.

* * *

A young deputy greeted Buffy as she entered the sheriff's station. "Hey, Becky, how are you today?"

Buffy gave him a smile that belied her condition. "I'm great, Dan, and you?"

"I'm good. The sheriff had some replies this morning, so maybe he has good news today," the deputy announced, smiling when he saw the girl's face brighten. "I'll tell him you're here."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


"Hey, Becky, why don't you take a seat?" the sheriff said and directed her to a chair.

"Dan said you got some replies today," Buffy gushed eagerly.

The sheriff sighed, "Yeah, about that. I've heard back from the Center for Missing Children, the FBI, and several municipalities. It seems you haven't been reported missing."

Buffy was stunned. "But what – what does that mean? Obviously, I'm missing," Buffy stammered.

The sheriff could sense her panic. "Now, don't get too riled up. We were only able to submit your picture. It's very difficult to work without a name. Maybe your family doesn't know you're missing, yet. Maybe you were on vacation and not expected to be heard from for a while. Some people aren't close to their families and it might be a while until someone notices you're gone. Or there's even a chance you were running away from your family when Dean found you."

Buffy listened and considered the sheriff's ideas. After a minute she said in a voice near a whisper, "So, no one is looking for me?"

She looked so depressed, the sheriff wanted to comfort her. "Now, Becky, we don't know that for sure. Once you remember your name, it will be easy to find your family."

Buffy felt like she was about to cry, but she controlled her emotions enough to stand and give the sheriff a polite smile. "Thanks for your help, sheriff."

* * *

Buffy fought back her tears as she walked back to the Bluebird. She knew she was going to break down when Dean asked her about her trip to the sheriff. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to tell Dean. He would let her cry on his shoulder and Buffy knew that he would somehow make her feel better. She decided to find Dean at the garage instead of waiting for him.

 

When Buffy arrived at the garage, Dean was nowhere to be found. She noticed his black car was parked in a new location. While she looked around, she drew the attention of Cliff, the owner of the garage. "Can I help you, miss?" he called from his office.

"Oh, hi. I'm looking for Dean. His car is here, but I don't see him," Buffy said when she got to his door.

"Yeah, he and Richie went to the diner. They're celebrating the car being done. They should be back soon."

Buffy stared at him for a moment as that news washed over her. "Okay, thank you. I'll go see if I can find him."

Buffy took a deep breath. If Dean's car was done, that meant he'd be leaving. She found herself drowning in anxiety. No one was looking for her and the only person she knew was about to be out of her life. She decided to go to the diner; maybe she could convince him to stay for a few more days.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


As Richie and Dean were leaving the diner, Richie asked, "So, you must be pretty happy to be able to get on your way, now, huh?"

"Not as much as you'd think," Dean said surprising himself. "I was thinking of sticking around until Becky remembers who she is or finds her family."

Richie nodded in admiration. "That's real nice of you, but what about your dad? I thought you were all eager to catch up with him."

Dean was quiet for a minute as he weighed his options. He knew his Dad would be disappointed he had taken so long to join him. And after last night, it was going to be harder to pretend he wasn't attracted to 'Becky'.

Buffy turned the corner and smiled when she saw Dean a few paces ahead of her. She hurried to catch up.

"You're right. I should get out of here. My dad's probably mad I'm not there, yet. And Becky is becoming damn near impossible to live with."

Overhearing his complaint was more than Buffy could take; she stopped walking. She couldn't take anymore blows to her self-worth.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


She didn't know how long she stood there, but it was long enough for the young deputy to leave the diner and approach her. "Becky? You all right?" he asked tentatively.

Buffy blinked a couple times as she came back to the present and looked up at him. She shook her head and tears began to fall. "No."

"You want me to give you a ride back to motel?"

The motel? She didn't want to go there. She didn't want to see Dean, but she had nowhere else. She nodded because she had no other choice.

The deputy gently took her arm and led her to his car.

* * *

Dean took the long way home from the garage. He relaxed as he hit the highway on the outskirts of town and had the chance to push his baby to her limits. He was closing in on twenty over the limit when he spotted the sheriff's car at the side of the road. Reluctantly, he slowed to the proper speed. He waved at the sheriff as he drove past. Since he couldn't open her up all the way, he decided to head to the Bluebird. Maybe Becky would want to go for a drive.

 

Buffy felt numb. She didn't know what she had done to make Dean dislike her, but she was sure it was something that happened the night before. Maybe she was an awful person and didn't even know it. That's why no one was looking for her. No one cared enough to miss her and the only person she did know, wanted nothing to do with her.

She looked around the room. I had better get my stuff together, she thought. She didn't know where she was going to go, but she knew once Dean left, she wasn't going to be able to stay at the Bluebird.

 

Dean's great mood was shattered when he entered the room and found Buffy stuffing her few belongings into a plastic grocery bag. He was stunned into inaction. She was leaving? "Becky, did the sheriff find your family?" he asked, trying to smile hopefully.

"No," she mumbled without looking up from her task.

Dean stepped forward. "Then, what are you doing? Why are you packing?" He was barely able to hide his concern.

Buffy turned to him, unable to stop tears from forming. Taking a deep breath, she tried to feel angry. Anger was better than the worthless empty feeling that had taken hold of her. "I'm leaving."

"Why? What hap-?"

"Your car's fixed, isn't it? Aren't you leaving?"

Dean was confused. Yeah, he probably should be leaving, but why was she packing? He watched her stuff a few more things into a bag and noticed she'd been crying. It made him feel like someone was standing on his chest. He took her arm to turn her to face him. "Becky, did you remember what happened to you?"

"No." Buffy wiped her eyes. "No one is looking for me and you don't like living with me." Dean stepped away from her. Buffy felt a hollow victory at the expression on his face. "Since your car is fixed, you don't have to be here anymore. But without you, I can't afford to stay at the motel. So, I'm packing."

"It's paid for. The room. It's paid through the week," Dean babbled. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. She must have found out about his conversation with Jim last night. No wonder she wants to be away from him.

"Becky, I'm sorry." His voice, so low and quiet, Buffy almost didn't recognize it. "I'm going," he said after he cleared his throat. "The sheriff's going to need to know where you are." He grabbed his duffel from the cubby by the door, and then walked to the bureau.

Buffy dropped her bags on the ground and let the tears finally fall. When she took a shaky breath, Dean finally chanced a look at her; her tears were another punch to his gut. "Becky, don't cry. Everything's gonna be fine." He reached for her, but she pulled back, and he let his arm fall heavily to his side. Looking at the ground instead of her, Dean said, "I know what you must think of me, but if you need anything -"

"I don't want anything from you," Buffy replied shakily. Considering he didn't even like her, Buffy thought Dean had already done enough.

 

Since he was a near expert at leaving in a hurry, Dean was out of the Bluebird in a matter of minutes. After tossing his bags in the trunk, Dean stared at his car for a while. He had been so happy to get her back, now it was part of the reason he was out of room seventeen. He knew he had no one to blame but himself. He desperately wanted to do something to make Becky feel better. Since she wanted him away from her, he left. But, he knew she was worried about money; that was something he could handle.

Now where was that bar Richie told him about?


	4. Chapter 4

Emotionally exhausted, Buffy fell asleep early. It seemed like mere minutes, but it was well after midnight when she awoke to pounding on her door.

"Hello?" Buffy yawned as she opened the door. Standing before her were a deputy and Dean, a Dean who was more leaning than standing. She groaned to herself. "What do you want?"

"Tol' ya. She don' like me. Shoun'ta come here." Dean tried to walk away

The deputy grabbed Dean's arm and faced Buffy. "Becky, he's wasted. Wanted to drive like this, too. Don't make me put him in the drunk tank. I know you guys are fighting, but..."

"I'm not fighting," Dean said with way too much emphasis. "She hates me. I like her jus' fine. Don't make me stay here; it'll be awk [hic] ward."

Buffy shook her head. "Fine," she sighed wearily "Bring him in."

"Thanks, Becky. Sheriff wouldn't be happy to find Dean in the holding cell in the morning." He plopped Dean onto the bed. "Tell him his car's at the Kraken."

Buffy's brows shot up. "The Kraken? What was he doing there?"

"Drinking enough to think he could take on a couple of the bikers that frequent the place." Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "Don't worry. From what I understand he started the fight, but wasn't actually in it." The sound of Dean's groan drew their attention. "Wouldn't want to be him in the morning. He's gonna be one sick puppy." Dan looked at her. "Don't be too mad at him. He feels real bad about whatever y'all are fighting about. It's all he talked about on the way over here."

At the sound of the door closing, Dean peeked at her and asked, "Is he gone?"

"Yeah."

"'kay," he pushed himself up, "I'll go sleep in m' car."

"Dean, just go to sleep. Your precious car can wait 'til morning."

He turned to look at her and needed a moment for his eyes to focus. "Look, I know you totally hate me, but I'm really sorry."

Buffy shook her head and began to pick up the used tissues that were on the floor by her bed. She wiped her eyes again. Going to the small kitchenette, she filled a glass of water and grabbed the bottle of aspirin. She returned to Dean and handed him the glass and the bottle. "Here."

He looked up at her and noticed her red rimmed eyes. "You were crying."

"Dean, just take the aspirin, okay? You're going to need it."

He shook his head. "No. Don't go bein' nice to me. How'm I not supposed to like you if you're nice t' me? I made you cry."

She impatiently shook the bottle of pills until he took them from her. After he swallowed a couple, Buffy continued, "You said I'm hard to live with, remember?"

Dean snorted and handed the glass back to her. "Yeah you are." He lay back on the bed as she walked away. "I mean, have you seen you? You're fuckin' hot. Make me wanna –" he mumbled something she couldn't quite make out, but Buffy froze in her tracks before slowly turning to face him. "How'm I supposed to not want that?" he asked as he sloppily gestured in her direction.

She moved closer to be sure she heard him correctly. "What?"

"Ne'er mind," he muttered and pushed himself further onto the bed to sit up. "It's not like I woulda done anythin' anyway."

Sitting on her bed opposite him, Buffy stared at Dean for a minute. "Dean, I thought you said you couldn't stand to be around me."

"No. No, no, no no. Sometimes, maybe. See, cuz I like you, you don't like me like I like you. I like you like you. But you, you hate me hate me." Dean swayed a bit in his seat as he attempted to think over what he had said. "No. Wait, yeah, that's right." He pointed to himself. "Like you." He pointed at Buffy. "Hate me." He closed his eyes and lay back down.

"You're drunk," Buffy said dismissively.

"Pfft. So? Still true. Duddn't change a thing."

Buffy couldn't understand how Dean had concluded any of what he was saying. "Why do you think I hate you?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know, ya kicked me out. Cuz I like you when I'm not s'posed to. I'm only s'posed to watch out for you 'n stuff. Not try to get with you."

Buffy tried to wrap her mind around his confession. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Dean exaggerated. He lay there quietly for a time, making Buffy think he had fallen asleep.

Suddenly, he sat up again holding onto the small bedside table for balance, and when he spoke his voice was tinged with anger. "Why the hell are you so mad at me, anyway? Just cuz you find out I like you doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I didn't do anything. I mean, yeah I flirted with you once in a while. So? Okay," he admitted, "maybe I flirted 'lot. But I di'n't do anything that bad. I didn't grope you or try to see you naked or anything."

Buffy just stared at him unable to answer. Eventually he laid back down. "And it wasn't easy, ya know. You should see your ass in those little pink shorts. You fuckin' kill me. Make me wanna jus' – mmm." He covered his eyes with his hand. "But, did I moles' you? No. 'M a fuckin' saint. Take enough cold showers to get hyp hypo – whate'er it is where a guy freezes to death."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Buffy feeling overwhelmed; Dean feeling sick, not because he drank too much, but because he just remembered that she had been crying. He rolled to look at her. "Oh God, Becky?" His voice was meek but she met his eyes. "I'm sorry. Don' cry anymore, 'kay? I promise I'll leave in the mornin' and you'll never hafta see me again. An' I won't just leave the Bluebird, this time. I'll leave town. Promise." He collapsed onto the pillow, mumbling more apologies.

Buffy sighed in frustration. What were the chances he'd remember any of this in the morning?

Suddenly, he was standing up again, swaying, but standing, and digging in his pocket. "Here! I got this for you." He withdrew a large wad of cash and put it in her hand. "I didn' want you to worry 'bout payin' for th' room or anything."

Buffy looked down at the money and then back at Dean. "Oh, Dean, what did you do?" she asked in a voice full of concern.

"Shh, jus' don' cry anymore, 'kay?"

Buffy nodded at him though she could feel tears wanting to form. He smiled drunkenly at her before laying back in his bed. It was then that Buffy noticed a red mark on his jaw. She sat next to him on his bed and gingerly touched the spot. "Dean, what happened? Did you get hurt in the fight?"

"Nah." He took her hand off his cheek, but he kept her hand in his as he said, "Nobody could catch me." Staring up at her, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm so sorry, Becky. I shouldn'tuv kissed you last night. But you, you jus'," he stopped and stared at her for a long time, like he wanted to say more but couldn't. "Sorry." He rolled on his side to face away from her.

"Dean," Buffy said in a near whisper, "I don't hate you."

"It's okay, Becky, you should. Imma scumbag."

"No, you're not."

"Don't. Don't be nice again. I can't take it. 'm sorry."

* * *

Dean awoke to the smell of coffee brewing and a deep pang of regret overshadowing his hangover. His coffee craving was warring with his desire to avoid all interpersonal interaction. Unwillingly, he opened his eyes. He found a bottle of water and some aspirin on the bedside table.

He sat up and took a long drink after downing a couple aspirin. He saw Buffy sitting at the small table across the room watching television with the sound turned down. Part of him wished that meant he could escape without her noticing him, but he knew that was impossible.

The moment he stirred, Buffy got up and poured him a cup of coffee. When she handed it to him she asked, "Are you hungry? Can I get you something?"

Dean barely glanced at her as he accepted the steaming cup. "No. I'll get something on the road."

"So you're still leaving?"

"Yeah. I, uh," he ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry, Becky. I'm sorry I made you mad, I'm sorry the deputy brought me back here. I'm sorry about everything." He made his way to the bathroom and did the quickest clean-up he could.

When he re-entered the room, Buffy was nervously pacing as she waited for him. "Dean, wait, about yesterday. I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. I'm an ass," Dean said with a small smile.

"Wait, just tell me what I did. Why did you say I was hard to live with? What did I do?" Buffy's voice grew quieter as she spoke.

"Nothing," Dean took a deep breath and blew it out. "Becky, I just can't do this anymore. I gotta go catch up with my dad and see if he needs my help."

Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile before looking away.

He didn't want to tell her how he felt, but he couldn't stand her looking so depressed because of something he did. "Becky, the thing is, you're smart, you're funny, you're fun to be around, and you're not exactly unattractive, you know? You're even cute in those stupid cow pajamas. I've been hanging out because being with you is more fun than working with my dad"

That drew a smile and a tiny laugh from Buffy and Dean smiled. He went to the desk and scribbled his name and number on the motel stationary. "Here, call me when the lines are working again and let me know about your family."

"No one is looking for me."

Dean smirked and took her hand. "Just 'cause the sheriff hasn't found them yet, doesn't mean they're not there." Buffy made to protest again, but Dean stopped her by continuing. "And with that family – is some guy, some damn, lucky guy, maybe even a husband."

"No," Buffy said softly. "You don't know that." She looked away as she fought tears.

Dean forced a smile. "Becky, they are probably going crazy worrying about you. I know I would." He touched her cheek to get her to look at him.

"Then stay," she begged again.

"I can't." Dean's breath caught in his chest and he felt a pain he didn't recognize. I'd end up hating myself when your real life shows up, he thought. He tried to give her a smile. "When the phone lines are working again, call me, okay? Take care of yourself, Becky," he whispered into the kiss he placed on her temple.

Buffy moved in front of him, blocking his exit. Before he could stop her, Buffy stood on her toes and kissed him. Wrapping her arms around Dean's neck, she attempted to deepen the kiss, until Dean responded.

Finally, they were doing what they both had wanted for so long. Dean threaded a hand through Buffy's hair, cradling her head. Buffy's heart was speeding at a dizzying rate. Her insides were stirring with the feelings of finally touching Dean, finally kissing him. Buffy broke away to look him in the eye but the moment she did, she felt the need to kiss him again. Kissing Dean was better than she had hoped it would be.

Dean's heart was hammering so hard that he thought she must feel it. He felt overwhelmed, he was so happy to be kissing her and holding her. The way Buffy's body fit up against his was driving Dean crazy with want.

As the kiss slowly broke, Buffy continued to place small soft kisses on Dean's neck and jaw, until she was flat on her feet and Dean's hand slid from her hair to cup her cheek. He bent his head to rest it on hers. "Becky," Dean whispered, more breath than word.

Suddenly, Dean snapped out of his haze and backed away. That tiny bit of happiness stung so sharply. "Sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"Dean, no. Please stay, I don't want you to go," Buffy pleaded.

"Beck, I can't. Look, if I do I'm just gonna," he paused. Closing his eyes, Dean took a breath, found some strength, and opened them again. "My dad needs me and you need to concentrate on getting back your life." He gave her a small smile, "Call me when you know who you are, okay?"

* * *

Buffy allowed herself to feel miserable for ten minutes. Then a calm determination came over her. She had no one else rely on, she was going to have to get her life back by herself. Desperate for answers, she decided when she saw Dr. Sgriccia that day, she'd ask to get hypnotized.

**#*#*#*#**

Dean drove a couple hours before his phone started to chirp with messages. The first chance he could, he pulled over to make contact with the 'outside world'. The first three messages were from his father. Each sounded more annoyed than the last, but at least Dean knew where to find the man. Dean grinned at the message left by his brother. He checked the number and dialed it immediately.

The call went straight to voice mail. However, before Dean could leave a message, his phone died. He groaned in frustration. "Moron, I can't believe I forgot to keep it charged."

He climbed back into his car and headed to the town where John was supposed to be. Maybe it wasn't too late, and Dean could still help with his case.

**#*#*#*#**

At the hospital, Buffy marched to the maternity ward in search of the book of baby names. She was going to read every single entry and find her name if it was the last thing she did. Then, she would go to Dr. Sgriccia and let the shrink hypnotize her.

With nothing else to do and nowhere else to go, Buffy sat in the doctor's waiting room copying possible names from the book. She'd say them to herself, but nothing seemed to hit the right chord. Every once in a while, Buffy could feel the eyes of the receptionist on her, but she didn't let it stop her. When it was finally time for her appointment, Buffy had a list of names. "Here," she said, handing the list to Dr. Sgriccia. "My name is somewhere on there."

The doctor skimmed the extensive list. "Alright, Amy, sit down. Let's get to work."

Buffy wrinkled her nose when she sat, and shook her head. "Not it."

Dr. Sgriccia scratched the name from the list. "Did you want to tell me about your dreams again, Annie?" he asked with a welcoming smile.

Buffy paused before mumbling, "No, not Annie. Ann?" She shook her head in thought. "That's not it," she said finally, "but it's very familiar. Like I have been called Ann or that Ann is part of it."

Dr. Sgriccia watched the wheels spinning in Buffy's mind. "Like Beth Ann or Sue Ann?" the doctor suggested.

Buffy nodded again. "Yeah, but those aren't right. Or at least they don't feel right."

"There's a lot of names with Ann as part of them. There's Le Ann, Rae Ann," he continued, but Buffy made a discouraging face. "Maybe Ann is your middle name. When I was a boy, my mother would call me by my full name whenever I was in trouble."

"Yeah, I think that's it." Buffy squinted and pulled her legs up under her. "Leave it to me to remember my middle name but nothing else."

"It'll come, Cathy Ann, don't worry."

"Well, that's not it!" Buffy said adamantly, making the doctor chuckle.

"Okay, okay, we'll keep trying." He looked over the list again. "You know, there's a saint named Elizabeth Ann. Perhaps your family named you after her."

Buffy wrinkled her nose in distaste. Elizabeth? No way. "Elizabeth doesn't feel right. It's too long. Too formal sounding"

"Well, maybe you were called by a nickname. Let's see," he thumbed to the page of the baby name book and began to read, "there's: Bess, Bessie, Beth, Betsy, Betty, Buffy, Elisa, Ella -"

"Wait."

"Ella?"

"No. Buffy."

"Buffy? Buffy Ann?" the doctor asked hopefully.

Buffy's eyes gleamed and she smiled widely. "Buffy Ann! I'm Buffy!" She squealed and bounced out of the chair to hug the doctor. "That's it! I know that's it. Oh-my-god my name is Buffy Ann – something," she said, deflating a bit.

The doctor's smile didn't fade. "We'll get there. I promise."

Buffy's hope returned. "You're right. Let's get with the hypnotizing." She made herself comfortable on the couch. "Okay, what do I have to do?"

Dr. Sgriccia leaned back in his chair. "I thought you were against hypnosis. You didn't like relinquishing control. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I want to know who I am and where I'm from."

The doctor quietly studied her as she shifted on the couch. "You did before as well. What's different? What happened that you want to try hypnosis now, but you didn't before?"

"I know my name, or at least most of it, so now I want to know the rest," she replied without hiding her impatience.

Dr. Sgriccia didn't buy into Buffy's demand, he remained unconvinced. "Remembering your name is of major significance. Why didn't you look at the book before? Why are you suddenly so willing to try hypnosis? What changed, Becky?"

"My name's Buffy," she scowled at him. "Come on, let's get on with it."

"We got to your name without using hypnosis. What changed?"

"Nothing."

"What changed?"

The doctor's insistence made Buffy grumble in frustration. "Dean's gone."

"Gone?"

"His car's fixed and he went to work with his dad."

The doctor took a moment to reflect on her answer. "Was Dean stopping you from trying to learn your identity?"

"What? No."

"Then, why once he's gone are you working so hard?"

Uncertain, Buffy could only shrug.

"Dean wasn't holding you back?" the doctor pressed.

"No. He wasn't. He brought me here. He took me to the sheriff's office," she insisted.

"And if Dean were to walk through that door right now, what would happen? Would you still want to be hypnotized?"

"I don't know. I think so." Buffy shifted on the couch. "I guess without him, I don't want to be 'Becky'."

The doctor nodded and made another note in his file. "Why don't we talk about your dreams, again. Did you dream about that girl again? Or did you dream about 'monsters'?"

Buffy sat up and glared at the doctor. "Aren't you going to hypnotize me?"

"I think it's best if we keep doing what we've been doing -- for now."

Buffy stood and walked to the door.

"Becky," Dr. Sgriccia called calmly.

"My name is Buffy," she replied, clearly showing her annoyance. "And if you're not going to help me, I'm done here."

**#*#*#*#**

From the doctor's office, Buffy went to see the Sheriff. "Becky, it's good to see you," the sheriff said, smiling warmly and looking passed her. "Did you bring Dean with you?"

"Dean? No, uh, he left," Buffy answered quietly. "They finally finished his car, so he left to go work a case with his dad."

"A case?"

"His dad's a detective or something."

"Hmm, explains how he was able to figure out you weren't from here. Too bad he couldn't stick around to help you find out who you are."

"I don't need the Winchester detective agency, I remembered my name," she told him with a hopeful smile.

"Winchester?" the sheriff checked Buffy's file as he asked, but then quickly switched gears. "Well, your name will make the search much easier." He ushered her into his office. After booting up his computer and linking to the FBI's website, he asked, "Well, lay it on me. What's your name?"

"Buffy."

"Buffy? Okay, Buffy what?"

"I don't know my last name," she replied, wrinkling her nose. "I know it's not much more to..."

The Sheriff raised his hand at her doubts. "If you're sure it's 'Buffy', that'll go a long way to finding out who you are and where you're from."

Buffy's smile returned. "I'm sure Buffy's my name, but that's all I've got."

"Well, let's hope it's enough." He typed some information into the Bureau's site, then sat back. "Alright. This should do the searchin' for us. Why don't you come back in the morning, and we'll see what we've got?"

Buffy grinned. "I'll be here."

* * *

Dean was still quite a few hours from John's last known location, when he stopped for the night. He didn't want to waste time and money on a motel, so he made do with the backseat of the Impala. As he shifted around to get comfortable, his eyes fell on a discarded pen with The Bluebird emblazoned on it. His thumb rubbed over the logo as he thought about the girl he left there.

He knew he'd have thought of her whether he found the pen or not. He couldn't stop thinking of her. It felt like a job unfinished, like he had watched an entire movie only to have the last reel go missing. Not knowing what would happen to 'Becky' ate away at Dean until he fell into a fitful sleep.

 

Again, Dean found himself driving through a severe storm. He was barely able to see the road ahead. He knew he should pullover and wait it out, but he felt compelled to keep driving. Just as a flash of lightening blinded him, Dean lost control and the Impala spun wildly off the road.

It slid down a steep embankment, then rolled several times. Searing pain coursed through Dean's leg and his shoulder. Blood trickled down his neck. He tried to move but couldn't undo his seat belt. He struggled for a few minutes before calling out for help, only to find he had no voice.

The air brakes of a passing semi-truck startled him awake. Covered in a cold sweat, it took Dean several minutes to recover from his nightmare.

* * *

After learning the FBI had no report of a missing 'Buffy', she realized she was going to have to make it on her own. She'd have to find a way to support herself. She had no way of knowing when her memory would return, or if Sheriff Brown would ever find her family, so she decided to make the best of her situation.

 

The money Dean left was enough to cover her stay at the Bluebird for another week, but if she wanted food, she was going to have to get a job. She had no idea what she used to do, but when Mrs. Lee told her the Owl's Nest was looking for a waitress, Buffy applied, and with the help of the Sheriff, she got the job.

* * *

Dean found his father using the same method the Winchesters had relied on for years. First motel in the directory and registered under the name Jim Rockford.

"Hey, Dad."

John looked up from the file he was reading. "Dean?" If Dean didn't know better, he'd have thought he had surprised his father. John took a deep breath and swallowed. "Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked in a voice that sounded strained.

"I thought you could use my help." Dean scanned the room. His father had clippings and maps taped to the wall. "You did leave some choice messages," he muttered under his breath.

John turned away from him. "I don't need your help."

Dean rolled his eyes at his father's stubbornness. As he walked over to the wall with the clippings he said, "Dad, I'm here, so tell me about the job. What you want me to do?"

John cleared his throat. "Maybe you didn't understand me. I don't need your help and I don't want your help."

"Dad?" Dean's voice betrayed his confusion, but when he turned to face his father, Dean found an icy glare. "Dad, come on. The Impala broke down, all right? She needed a new radiator and I practically had to rebuild the tranny. I would have called, but the town I was in was hit by a tornado and the phone lines were down." John wasn't moved by Dean's argument. "I know you're angry with me over the whole Sammy thing, and I'm sorry, but I'm here now. Let me work this job with you."

"No, Dean. Go back to wherever you came from." John made his expression stern. "That's an order."

Dean, frozen in shock, could only stare at his father. His mouth fell open but he couldn't think of anything that would change his father's mind. After a moment, he followed his father's orders, slamming the door behind him.

 

John stared at the door for a long time. He collapsed back into the chair and took a long drink from a bottle of Jack Daniels that was on the table. Slowly, he began to shake with sobs.

**#*#*#*#**

Dean sat in the Impala, too furious to drive. What the hell was Dad's problem? Dean had been 'AWOL' before and it never made his dad turn down his help. It's not like he was the one that dragged Sammy off to college. Well, if his dad wanted him to go back where he came from, he would. After all, 'Becky' was a lot more fun than John Winchester.

Dean had no memory of the drive back to Texas. Driving into the sun for hours had exhausted him. He was hungry and tired and he decided to stop before he realized where he was.  
 ****

 **#*#*#*#**

He sat in the parking lot of the Bluebird trying to work up the nerve to knock at the door. He wondered if 'Becky' was still in town or if she had finally found her family. His hand was raised to knock when little Mark Lee called out to him. "Hi, Dean. Are you looking for your girl?"

Dean turned to him. "Hey, kid. Yeah, I am. Is she still here?"

"No. She's not here now."

"Oh," Dean heaved a sigh. "Well, uh, you guys still have a room I can have?"

"No. We still only have the two. Why aren't you staying with your girl?"

Dean looked confused. "I thought she wasn't here anymore."

"She's not. She's at work."

"Work?" Dean was sure he misheard.

"Yeah, work. At the Owl's Nest."

* * *

The place was loud and crowded and the smells drifting from the kitchen had Dean's mouth watering. A woman in her thirties strolled over to him and asked, "You want a table, sweetie?"

Dean shook his head, as Buffy chose that moment to enter the room. She was shouldering a large tray filled with dinner orders. Dean stared. To him, it seemed as if the entire room was black and white and she was in Technicolor.

The woman quirked a brow and slowly smiled as she looked Dean over. "You must be Buffy's Dean."

Dean turned his head to the woman, but his eyes stayed glued to Buffy. "Hmm?"

The woman waited until Buffy was finished placing her table's orders in front of the patrons before she spoke up. "Buffy! Look who's here."

Time froze when Buffy's eyes met Dean's. Then a blinding smile broke across her face. Dean's name came out as a sigh as Buffy crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him. "You're here. You came back," she breathed into his neck, her heart pounding out of her chest.

Dean instantly relaxed in her embrace. He hugged her tightly, relieved that she welcomed him back. "Miss me?"

She backed out of the hug still wearing a huge smile. "You have no idea how much." She grabbed his hand and led him to her section of the restaurant. "You hungry? Of course you're hungry. You've got to have the onion rings, they are to die for. Come on." She seated him in a booth, knowing how he liked to sit with his back to the wall and facing the door. "Take a look at the menu, if you want, but I'm getting you an order of rings. I'll be right back."

"Wait," Dean insisted, grabbing her hand and pulling her back. "So, your name is Buffy?"

She made a face, prepared for him to tease her. "Yes, I remembered it right after you left."

"And you work here?"

She shrugged. "Gotta work somewhere." She bit her lip and smiled. "I'm gonna get your onion rings. And order whatever you want, it's on me." Buffy practically skipped to the kitchen. Every last nerve ending was tingling with joy. Dean came back.

Dean watched her go and felt a lightness in his chest he didn't recognize.

**#*#*#*#**

Sera Brown felt her romantic side rise up in her the moment her eyes fell on Dean smiling at Buffy. "Aw, honey, look, Dean's back," she said to her husband.

The sheriff turned in his seat. "Huh, I wonder what brought him back 'round here."

"Buffy did, of course," his wife shook her head at his ignorance. "Just look at how they're smiling at each other." She watched them for a minute and sighed happily. "I knew there was something between them." Sera let a smile brighten her own face as Buffy set a large plate of onion rings before Dean.

The sheriff looked over at them and shook his head. He was going to have to find out what Dean was doing back in town.

"Hello, Dean. Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all, Sheriff."

"I didn't expect to see you back in town."

"I didn't expect to be here."

The sheriff nodded toward Buffy. "She tell you she remembered her name?"

"Yeah. 'Buffy''s not that common of a name. It should make it easier to find out about her, right?"

The sheriff nodded. "Real names do make it easier, Mr. Winchester." Dean paused. The way the sheriff emphasized his name made him uneasy. "With everything that had been going on around here, it took a while to look into your past. That's quite the interesting record you have, Dean. In fact, if I had seen it sooner, I doubt I'd have been comfortable letting her stay with you."

Dean looked into the sheriff's stony expression and sighed. He wondered where the sheriff was going with this speech. Dean pushed his plate forward, clenched his jaw, but kept his eyes down. "What are you trying to say, sheriff? You want me to leave or something?"

The sheriff looked at Dean and felt like he had kicked a loyal dog; but he had a duty to protect Buffy. "Stay or go it's up to you. But if you stay, I expect you to help out."

"Help out with what?"

"Your friend, Buffy. She seems to think you're a detective or something and I don't have the manpower needed to help her and take care of the town. If you're willing, you can come to the station in the morning and I'll get you up to speed with what we've done so far."

"Are you serious?"

"Well, someone's got to help the girl find her family and if I've got you working at the station, you can't get in trouble now, can you?"

"All right, Sheriff. I'll see you in the morning."

The sheriff pushed himself up from Dean's table. "You're gonna want to save room for pie. Raelle's pecan pie is a little slice of heaven."

Dean grinned, "Yes, sir."

**#*#*#*#**

Buffy set two slices of pie on the table and sat across from Dean.

"The sheriff was right, this pie is awesome," Dean said after one bite. "Hey, that offer to stay with you at the Bluebird still open?"

"Depends on the tip you leave." She grinned at the look Dean gave her, then went on, "I can't believe you're back so soon. I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again."

"Yeah, well, my dad didn't want my help after all. He told me to 'go back where I came from'," Dean imitated in a gruff voice. "Guess he's still mad about Sammy."

"'Mad about Sammy'? Why is your dad mad about Sammy?"

"I told you my brother went off to college, right? Well, the two of them had a huge fight the night my brother left."

"Oh," Buffy nodded. "What were they fighting about?"

"Well, my dad didn't take the news of Sam choosing to go to college that well." Dean pushed aside his empty pie plate.

"Wait, you mean, your dad didn't know Sam was going to college until he left for Stanford? How could he not know?" Buffy demanded.

Dean shrugged. "Uh, we didn't tell him." Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "We knew he was going to get mad so we thought it should wait until it couldn't wait anymore."

Amazed, Buffy's mouth fell open. "You didn't tell him? He's your dad! You said it was just the three of you!"

"Yeah, but you don't know my dad. He -"

"Seriously? What if Sam and your dad did some big life changing thing behind your back? How would you feel?"

"Dad would do that kind of crap all the time. We would have to move at a moment's notice and he would-"

"He's a dad. A single parent on top of it. He doesn't have to explain himself to you. He's just supposed to take care of you." Buffy's expression softened a bit. "How did you feel when he did that to you guys? When he uprooted you like that?"

Dean sighed. Winchester family history was too complicated to explain.

"Well, imagine that both your dad and your brother did something that would really impact your family without telling you. You'd be angry, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I -"

"You'd be all "Mr. Betrayed Pants" and go around all whiny and – "

"Mr. Betray -? Whiny?"

"Yeah, and you don't think your dad has the right to be angry? The two most important people in his life, the only people in his life, make a decision this important - without him and he's supposed to be all happy and take it with a smile?"

"I, we didn't – Are you done?"

Buffy twisted her mouth in thought. "Yeah, for now."

"Okay, you're right. We didn't really give my dad a chance. Sam worked his ass off to get that scholarship. The kid only wants a chance at a normal life, you know? He thought the only way he'd get that is if he left."

"Normal life? What do you mean 'normal life'?"

Dean quirked a brow. "Either someone's been hanging with Dr. Phil too much or 'Buffy' was a therapist in her past life."

Dean took money from his wallet and set it on the table, waving off Buffy's refusal to accept it. "Enough analyzing me and my family. How did you remember your name? Did you finally let the doc hypnotize you?"

"I made a list of names from your baby-name book and had him say them. Finally, one was right," Buffy replied. "I wanted him to hypnotize me, but he wouldn't. He wanted to talk about my dreams."

"Your dreams? You still dreaming about monsters?"

Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, sometimes. Mostly, I dream about this girl, the doctor thinks is my sister, and this older guy with glasses and an accent."

Dean's brows raised in amusement. "You dream about girls and old foreign men. Interesting."

Buffy rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sure you'd like to think I only dream about you, and I hate to hurt your ego, but I dream about other people just as much."

Dean let his smile grow slowly as he leaned back in the booth. "But you do dream about me."

Buffy stared at him until she realized his interpretation of what she said. "Oh, shut up. You know what I meant."

"Yeah, that I feature prominently in your dreams." He hid his laugh behind his cup as he finished his coffee. "What time is your shift over?"

Buffy pretended to look at a watch on her bare wrist. "Now," she answered with a smile. "You wanna check out the band?"

"Are they any good?"

Still smiling, Buffy answered with a shrug. "Who cares?"

* * *

Buffy hadn't stopped smiling for an hour. She was so full of nervous excitement, she felt like an over-filled balloon. When Dean told her the sheriff had asked him to stay and help with her 'case', she thought her heart would explode with joy.

The band played mostly Southern rock and country, but Buffy and Dean didn't seem to mind. Dean had learned in high school that a guy didn't have to dance well to show a girl a good time on the dance floor. All he had to do was practically stand still and spin the girl around. If Buffy's smile and laugh were anything to go by, he knew she was having fun. But he wasn't prepared for the way her smile and laugh made him feel.

When the band took its break, Buffy took Dean's hand to lead him to the bar, but Dean stopped her. "I don't want a beer," he said, looking far too serious for Buffy.

Her smile faded a bit. "Dean?"

"I don't want a beer. I don't want to listen to the band anymore."

Dean was looking so intensely at her, Buffy was finding it difficult to think. "Wh-what do you want?"

Dean wet his lips as the fingers of his free hand whispered over her check before gently cupping her face. He leaned in for a kiss. It was just a brush of lips against lips, barely there, but it promised more.

By the time Buffy's synapses caught up to what was happening, it was over, and Dean was looking at her in a way that threatened to make her go light-headed. "We could leave," she suggested breathlessly.

**#*#*#*#**

Once back in room seventeen, Dean wondered how he let temptation get the best of him. He shouldn't be doing this with her. Buffy noticed Dean's sudden hesitance and guilty expression when his right thumb brushed over her left hand. She gently stroked his cheek. She whispered his name and pulled him into a kiss. She soothed him further by kissing his neck while her hands roamed down his sides to the hem of his shirt.

Buffy slipped his shirt off and kissed her way from his collarbone to the center of his well-defined chest. When her hands came to rest on his waist, Dean exhaled a near laugh. "Driving me crazy."

"That's the idea," she whispered against his skin, forcing him to bite back a moan.

Dean tugged on her tight t-shirt until he was able to undo the knot and pull it over her head. He drank in the sight of her in her lacy bra, then covered her mouth with his. As they kissed, Dean's nimble fingers undid her bra and slipped the straps down her shoulders. She moved back to toss her bra aside and Dean attacked her neck. "You have no idea how much I want you," he breathed between heated kisses.

Buffy grinned and moved a hand to the front of Dean's jeans, making him suck in a breath. "I think I might."

"You play dirty," Dean moaned as she continued rubbing her hand against his growing erection.

She smiled as she moved to suck gently on his neck. "It's not fun to play fair," she replied.

Taking the challenge, he quickly unbuttoned her shorts and began to simultaneously push them down while guiding her to the bed. With a gentle shove, she fell backwards onto the bed and looked up at Dean with a playful smile that mirrored Dean's. She propped herself up on the elbows and quirked her brow. "I hope that wasn't your best move."

Dean's grin became wolfish. "Sweetheart, when I break out my 'best move', you'll know it." He wasted no time removing the rest of their clothing.

Time slowed to a crawl. Though Buffy had been trying to hide her nerves behind her cool, playful facade, she didn't miss the heat in Dean's eyes. Now the only thing Buffy was aware of was the warmth of Dean's body above her and the tickle of his stubble on her leg. Working deliberately slowly, Dean's gentle mouth and fingers fried nearly every cell in Buffy's brain. When her panting slowed and her tight grip on the sheets relaxed, Dean looked up at her. He wiped his mouth and smiled at Buffy's glassy expression. "That's just my opening act."

Buffy's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed back. "I will never doubt your skills again," she panted.

"You'll never have the reason," Dean retorted as he crawled next to her on the bed.

* * *

The next morning, Buffy awoke to the sound of Dean's voice. "Hey, Sam, it's me. Sorry, I forgot about the time difference. Uh, I went to see Dad but he's still being a prick. He told me to take off, so I did. So listen, I'm in Texas, call me when you get a chance, okay? Oh and get your head out of a book once in a while. Check out those California girls, they gotta be hot if David Lee Roth sings about 'em."

**#*#*#*#**

Dean kept his promise and went to work with Buffy in the sheriff's office. The deputy had directed Dean to a small desk fitted with a computer. "There are over 2000 people reported missing each day," the deputy told him. "Of those, about sixty percent are children. The FBI only has the reports that local authorities have turned over to them. We have a rudimentary search program, but since we don't have much information to work with, it's slow going at best," he added with a sympathetic shrug.

Dean dragged a hand over his face as if it would wipe away his frustration. His brain was swimming with pictures of blondes, but his stomach was sick. How could there be so many missing girls? Though many fit Buffy's description, he hadn't found a match. After searching the database for over three hours, he hadn't found a single missing 'Buffy'. There had to be a better way to help her. If only she could remember more; one more detail might be all they needed to help her find her way home.

Dean turned to her. "You do this every day?"

"I did," she shrugged. "It got really depressing and Mrs. Brown thought it might make it harder for me to remember my story if I looked at these every day."

He nodded sympathetically. "She's right. This is depressing. It'll be worth it, if you're in one of them though, right?" Buffy nodded. "Hey, why don't you let me do this and you go do something else?"

Buffy understood his motives, but declined with a huff. "Like what? This is my life, I should be the one doing the research."

"Okay." After another file, Dean said, "I wish Sam was here. He kicks ass at research. He'd probably know a better way to do this."

* * *

Sam listened to the two voice mails on his phone. He must have played each of them dozens of times. His thumb hovered over the option, but he just couldn't bring himself to dial the number. After one more listen, his phone rang, startling him into dropping it.

Fumbling for another ring, he finally answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Sam, it's Bobby. How ya doin', kid?"

Sam's breath shook. "I've been better."

"Yeah, I bet," came the reply. "You know if you need anything, you can call me, okay, son? I mean it."

"Sure, thanks, Bobby." He looked around his tiny dorm room. "I kinda can't believe I'm here."

"It's a good thing, Sam. Don't forget it. You worked real hard to get there and you deserve this chance as much as anyone."

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Dean would kick your ass if he heard you complaining," Bobby said with just the right amount of teasing in his voice.

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, you got that right."

* * *

Buffy and Dean spent the week together. During the day, he shuffled through missing persons reports and she waited tables at the Owl's Nest. They spent their nights wrapped around each other discovering new ways to drive the other crazy until they both arrived at blissful exhaustion.

 

Buffy watched Dean sleep and swallowed the urge to kiss him. He was beautiful, lying there so peacefully. She could stare at him for hours. A tiny puff of air pushed passed his lips and Buffy sighed at the tightness it caused in her chest. One thought crept into her mind, I want to keep him. They had only known each other just over a month, and Dean was the only person Buffy really knew, but she was pretty sure she was falling in love with him.

 

It was the only way she could explain the feeling she got when she saw him. When he had left she was miserable and empty. When he came back, she felt happy, more than happy. She felt alive in a way she hadn't when they weren't together.

* * *

That night Buffy dreamed of a good looking man. He was tall, dark and handsome and he told her he loved her. Buffy felt his arms around her and when they kissed, she felt herself swoon. She loved this man with all her heart. But in the next moment, she ran him through with a sword. She woke up with a gasp dying on her lips.

She edged away from Dean and sat up. The images replayed in her mind. A man was telling her he loved her and even though she loved him in return, she killed him. The scene was so clear, Buffy knew it wasn't just a dream – it was a memory.

Silently slipping out of bed, Buffy began to pace. That was why she left wherever she came from, she had killed a man. She watched Dean sleep for a minute before deciding she had to leave. As quietly as she could, she gathered her few clothes and other items. She emptied Dean's small pack and filled it with her things.

It was hours before dawn. Buffy could make her escape long before Dean ever woke up. She eyed his car keys, but decided against stealing his car. She would hike to the truck stop and catch a ride out of town.

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm her trembling nerves. She had to leave, she told herself. She had killed a man and she certainly didn't want to kill Dean. It was safer if she left, she decided. She took her last look at Dean and met his curious eyes.

 

"Where you running to Buffy?" Buffy couldn't answer. "Buffy?"

"I, I have to leave," she stammered, rushing to the door.

Dean jumped out of bed and managed to grab her arm to stop her. "What the hell is going on, Buffy? You're sneaking out in the middle of the night?"

"I remembered something."

Still a little bleary eyed, Dean repeated, "Remembered something? What did you remember?"

"I killed someone."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning for this chapter

Dean shook his head as if to clear those words from his mind. "What? No way. You did not kill anybody."

"Yes, I did, Dean," Buffy said quietly. "I remember it clearly. I killed a man; a guy I was in love with." She looked into Dean's eyes. "That's why I ran away. That's why I'm leaving now, before I hurt you."

Dean could only stare at her as her unbelievable admission washed over him. When she took another step to leave, he grabbed her arm. "No, whoa, slow down. Tell me everything you remember. There has to be some explanation. You are not a killer." He led her to the small couch, having her sit next to him. "Close your eyes and remember every detail you can."

Buffy sighed again but did what he asked. "There was this guy. He was tall and good looking, and he said he loved me. And I knew I loved him, too. But then, I knew I had to kill him." She closed her eyes as she quietly confessed, "I stabbed him."

When she finished, Dean scrubbed a hand over his face as he took a minute to think. This couldn't be right; Buffy couldn't be a killer.

Frantically, he began to ask questions, hoping for some kind of logical explanation. "Why did you stab him? What did he do? Come on, Buffy, what else do you remember? What was the guy's name? What did he look like? You said tall. Was he tall like me? Taller?"

"I don't remember his name, but yes, he was tall like you. I, I don't know why I stabbed him, but I know I had to."

Dean stood up and dragged her up after him. "So, a guy my size? Were you fighting?"

"I don't know. I think so. Yes, we were fighting, not arguing, but actual fighting. But, then he changed?" she replied, her confusion evident. "I don't know, but suddenly he was different. He said he loved me and we kissed and the next thing I know, I'm killing him." Buffy felt anxiety rising within her.

"Okay," Dean said softly as he rubbed her arms, trying to calm her. "You were fighting, but there's no way a guy my size wouldn't be able to defend himself against you. He would have batted the knife away. Even if you surprised him, I doubt you're strong enough for a fatal - "

"It wasn't a knife. I had a sword. I ran him through with a sword."

Dean froze as his mind caught up to what she said. He struggled to keep a smile from his face. "A sword?"

She nodded and Dean almost laughed as his concern faded. "Buffy, come on, that had to be a dream, not a memory." She opened her mouth to protest, but Dean pulled her back down onto the couch. "Babe, think about it, people don't go around with swords anymore. It's not the middle ages."

"I know it doesn't make sense, Dean, but it happened. I know it was real."

"Buffy, do you remember anything else about the guy? His name? Where were you when you had this deadly sword fight?"

"I told you, I don't know his name," she whined impatiently. "And I don't know where we were. But, it was like a castle or something," she added, her voice drifting off as she realized what she was saying.

Dean couldn't help himself, he smirked. "A castle, really?"

Buffy hung her head in embarrassment, but smiled shyly. "It seemed so real."

Pulling her into a hug, Dean chuckled as he rubbed her back. "It must have for you to want to run away in the middle of the night." He kissed the top of her head. "Maybe the guy is someone from your past. But remember, Dr. Phil said all the stuff in dreams means something else." Buffy nodded against his chest, relaxing in his embrace. "You want to see if he can see you tomorrow, so you can ask him about it?"

"No," she said, pulling back. "I just want to go back to bed."

Dean smiled and slipped the bag from her shoulder as he stood. "Sounds good. Of course, this means along with the no horror films, no more Princess Bride." He took her hand to help her up. "I'll join you in a second. First, I'm going to clear the room of all swords and maces, you know, just in case." Buffy slapped his arm. "What? I don't want you going medieval on me in my sleep."

"Not funny, Dean," she scolded over her laugh. She undressed and they crawled into bed together.

When she rested her head on his chest, Dean yawned, "We'll figure it out in the morning, I promise."

Buffy held him a little tighter, kissed his chest, snuggled close and whispered, "Love you, Dean."

Dean's eyes shot open, his breathing stopped. _Why did she say that? She can't mean that. Why did she have to be such a girl and ruin everything?_

* * *

In the morning, Dean convinced Buffy they should go to the library. He remembered his brother doing a paper about dreams. He hoped they could find some of the same information and use it figure out her dreams. Before leaving the room, he called Sam again. When it went to voice mail, Dean slammed the receiver down. "What the hell, Sam, answer your damn phone!"

Taken aback by his outburst, Buffy tried to reassure him. "Maybe he didn't recognize the number, so he didn't pick up."

"Yeah, maybe. Or maybe he's mad at me, too."

Buffy ran her fingers through his hair to comfort him. "Why would Sam be mad at you?"

"Who knows," Dean complained. "It's just how my family works. Sam and Dad get mad at each other, but somehow it ends up with both of them mad at me. I should be used to it." He gave her a half smirk. "I checked in with my dad when I got back, but he hasn't called either." Buffy seemed about to say something, but Dean stood up. "Come on. Let's get to the library and do some research." He winced. "I can't believe I just said that. I hate research."

  
**#*#*#*#**   


Together, they gathered several books on dream interpretation. Buffy wrote down images in her dreams, and they looked up the meaning of each in the books.

Through her research, Buffy discovered the girl she had been dreaming about was probably her sister. She dreamed about the girl frequently, and felt such a strong bond with the girl, a sister was the only explanation she could accept.

They looked up killing monsters and killing people, wielding swords and even the meaning of castles. When they were done, they did their best to analyze Buffy's dreams. The most logical answer was that she lost her temper when the guy in her dream stopped her from achieving a goal. They were competing for something that had been very important to Buffy, and she had to prove she was better than he was.

This interpretation made Buffy feel better. She hadn't killed anybody. She knew she was competitive, the card game taught her that, so it made sense that she'd want to better the man in her dream. She couldn't believe she had nearly run away in the night over a silly dream.

Dean suggested that since the sword was a phallic symbol, she probably just wanted to control the guy in bed. After all, he reminded her, she did say they kissed and then she 'ran him through with the sword'. "You're probably just repressing your inner freak," he teased.

Not amused, Buffy said, "Oh, I'll repress, I'll repress so much you don't get any for a week."

"Woman, please, that would hurt you as much as it would hurt me." He slung his arm around her as they walked to the car.

* * *

When they got back to the Bluebird, the Lee children and their friends were playing kickball in the parking lot, forcing Dean to park in the back. They watched the kids play for a while and cheered on the Lee kids when it was their turn to kick.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Dean said, "I don't know about you, but I need to do a laundry run."

Buffy nodded, "Totally with you on the laundry patrol."

Dean tossed her the Impala keys. "I've got a big duffel bag in the trunk. Why don't you grab it, we can stuff all the dirty clothes in there and use the packs in the room for the clean stuff. I'll ask at the office for the nearest laundromat."

"'kay."

  
**#*#*#*#**  


At the Impala, Buffy grabbed the duffel, but didn't get far. The strap was caught in what seemed like the spare tire well. She tugged a few times, until she saw a hidden release. When she clicked the latch open, the Impala's false trunk bottom sprung up. Buffy pulled the strap free, but when she went to close the latch, it wouldn't stay shut. The strap had dislodged something and now it was blocking the catch. She lifted the false bottom completely and sucked in a breath. "What the hell?"

Buffy felt her adrenaline kick in. Scanning the trunk's inventory, she grabbed a silver dagger to examine the inscription. What is all this stuff? She thought to herself. Maybe Dean isn't the guy I thought he was. Maybe he is some kind of psycho killer. Buffy twirled the dagger absentmindedly as she examined the items before her.

"Buffy?" Dean's voice interrupted her thoughts. Buffy turned and knocked Dean to the dirt with a quick punch to his solar plexus. She spun the dagger to get a proper grip before she stood defensively before him.

"Buffy?" Dean coughed, from his spot in the dust.

"Who are you? What is all this stuff?" She pointed to trunk. Her voice was quiet, but threatening. "Guns, daggers, Holy Water, Latin spell books, machetes, rosaries?" Buffy moved menacingly closer and raised the blade slightly. "Who are you? What are you?" she demanded.

Dean's mouth fell open as she talked. He looked up at her, his face the picture of shock. "Holy shit. Buffy, are you a hunter?"

 

Buffy glared at him. "Dean, don't turn this around onto me. I asked you a question." She saw he was beginning to get up and she kicked his leg out from under him, sending him falling backwards into the dirt. "Who are you?" she demanded again.

"Whoa, hey, Buffy. I can explain," Dean replied in what he hoped was a calm and reassuring tone.

"Good. Make with the explainy." She circled in front of him twirling the dagger again.

Dean held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "I'm a hunter." he spoke slowly. "And, from how you're acting, I think you are, too."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "A hunter, with silver bullets? Kinda expensive for your average jack-a-lope. Try again."

Dean began to smile in awe of the change in his sweet little Buffy. "We don't hunt jack-a-lope, Buffy. If you let me up, I'll explain."

"No." She stepped closer, threatening to kick him down if he tried to move again. "You can tell me from there," she countered with a cold voice and a firm grip on the dagger.

He looked around, making sure none of the Lee family was within hearing distance. "I'd rather we talked back in our room."

"I'd rather we talked right here. Unless you want me to show you what I can do with Mr. Pointy here." Buffy kept her expression stern, but wondered why she had said that.

Dean stared at her, trying to determine if she was serious and if he could take her down without hurting her. Buffy seemed to sense what he was thinking and moved between him and the trunk full of weapons.

Having no other choice, Dean explained quietly. "We hunt the paranormal, stuff like ghosts and demons."

"Demons?" she snorted and took a step back. Her eyes darted around before focusing on Dean again. "Great, you're a whack job. I've been living with a frickin' whack job."

"No. Just think about it." Dean said calmly, but a little louder. "You recognized the weapons in my trunk. Look at how you're holding that blade. And," he continued, rubbing his chest, "that was one hell of a punch."

He made an attempt to get up but stopped and held up his hands in surrender. "Can I get up?"

Buffy nodded, but took a step back in precaution.

"Thanks," Dean said as pushed himself up and stepped away from her. "I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. It makes perfect sense." He dusted himself off, being sure to stay far enough away from her to keep her comfortable.

"Sense? No. This makes no kind of sense, Dean. Demon hunters? I don't think so," Buffy said hurriedly, then wrapped her arms around herself.

"I know you think it sounds completely bat shit crazy, Buffy, but it explains why no one is looking for you," Dean began. "A demon could have done this to you. Hunters usually work solo, or maybe with one other person. If you have a partner, the demon may have made them think you're dead."

Buffy stared at him for a beat, then shook her head. "No. _You_ ," she pointed at him with the dagger, "are a certifiable nut job. You need to see Dr. Phil." Dean sighed, but Buffy continued, "I'm going to call Jeanine and see if she can come get me so I can get away from you for a while. But, I want you out of our room by the time I get back." She tossed the dagger away from them and hurried back to their room.

 

Dean watched her leave and sighed. He picked up his silver dagger, replaced it in the trunk, shut the lid, and leaned against his car. He knew he was right. It was so clear to him, he wondered how he could prove it to her. Who could he call to see if there was a cute blond demon hunter who'd gone missing?

The one thing he did know was that he had to help Buffy. If a demon had done this to her, she was probably still in danger.

* * *

Buffy sat on her bed, her thoughts racing. Why would Dean say something like that? Ghosts? Demons? The images from her dreams replayed in her head. Those things with the fangs and the yellow eyes. Almost every night she would dream about fighting them. Was she supposed to think all of that was real?

Dean entered the room and quietly shut the door. "Buffy, you've got to know I wouldn't lie to you."

"Dean, leave me alone."

"Please, just hear me out," he begged.

"Why? So you can tell me ghosts and goblins are real?" Buffy suddenly realized he had her trapped. She glanced into the kitchen hoping to see something she could use as a weapon if she needed one.

"No," Dean paused and studied her. "But you just scanned the room for exits and something you could use for a weapon."

Buffy was stunned. "How did you know that?"

"Because that is what _we_ are trained to do," he replied calmly, stepping back to allow her to get to the door if that was what she wanted. "I haven't done anything to hurt you, why do you think I'm going to hurt you now?" he demanded.

"Because, now, I know who you are," she replied hesitantly as she inched closer to a kitchen chair.

"Buffy, I would never hurt you." Buffy didn't look convinced, but he continued, "Maybe the doc was right. Maybe you saw something really bad that made you take off and now you're blocking that memory. I've seen," Dean paused, not really sure he wanted to tell her more about himself and his family's past. "I've seen some unbelievably horrible shit doing this job with my dad. I've seen people being torn apart by demons. I've seen stuff way worse than those horror movies we watched."

"So, you're trying to say monsters are real," she said as if she was convincing herself. "Fine, prove it."

"Sorry, I don't know how to prove it to you, but, yeah, the stuff of nightmares is real."

"Those things in my dreams," she looked at Dean with growing concern in her eyes. "The things with the teeth and the yellow eyes? They're real?"

"Maybe, probably."

"What are they then?" she challenged.

Dean took a moment to think, worried what his answer would mean to her. "When I was four years old, a demon with yellow eyes went after my brother and killed my mom. It's why my dad became a hunter."

Buffy studied Dean's open face. He wasn't lying; he looked worried, but not deceitful. She covered her face with her hand as she sank onto the bed. "Oh my god."

Dean sat on the other bed, just watching her come to terms with her new reality.

"Dean?" Her eyes now had the look of panic. "If those things are real, that means I killed that guy from my dream."

"No." His reply was spoken like he knew it to be true.

"Yes, I did, Dean. The dream was so clear, I - "

"No, Buffy, there has to be more that you don't remember. You didn't just kill somebody for no reason. You are not a killer." He could see that she wasn't believing him, so he said, "What if he was possessed? Maybe he was your partner or your boyfriend, but he became possessed and you had no choice."

Buffy nodded as she considered his words, but she wasn't reassured.

"Maybe he did something really horrible. Maybe he hurt your sister or, I don't know, he must have done something bad enough that you had no choice but to kill him. If it was you against him, life or death." Dean reached across the gap between their beds and took her hand. "I know a guy, he's like family to me. He became a hunter because his wife was possessed and he was forced to kill her."

In the six weeks since he found her in the storm, he had never seen Buffy look so demoralized, so broken. Dean felt like he was crumbling, too.

"That's why you found me in the road. I killed my husband or my boyfriend or whoever that guy was and couldn't deal." She pulled her hand free of his and began to pace.

"You don't know that for sure," Dean tried to reassure her. "Sam left because he wanted a normal life. Maybe you did the same."

"Oh my god, Dean, my sister! I left my sister out there somewhere. She's all alone and those things, Dean, those things are everywhere," her voice shook with overwhelming fear.

In the next instant, Dean was wrapping his arms around her. "We'll find her. She'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

"You don't know that," Buffy breathed into his chest, though she found herself slowly calming in his embrace.

"Yeah, I do." he kissed the top of her head. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you and you aren't going to let anything happen to her." Before Buffy could say anything to the contrary, he added, "We'll find her, and we can ask my dad for help. And if he won't help, I know someone who will."

Buffy nodded and pulled away. She wanted to take the comfort Dean was offering, but part of her was afraid of who she once was.

* * *

Buffy hadn't been the same since she discovered the truth about Dean and those things that go bump in the night. She retreated into a shell and even called in sick to the Owl's Nest. Dean gave her space, but continued his concerned vigilence.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


In the morning, Dean called his father from the motel phone. Again, he wasn't surprised his dad didn't answer. "Dad, it's Dean. I'm leaving Texas today so my phone should be working again. Call and let me know you're okay. I'm thinking about heading up to Singer's. I think I've got a job for us."

Buffy watched Dean pack and make his call, but wasn't motivated to do anything herself.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Once he was ready to leave, Dean became worried. "Buffy, maybe you should stay here. You kind of have a life here. I'll leave like you wanted. If I find out anything, I'll call."

Buffy didn't reply, she simply stared at her sweater draped over the chair.

He put his bag down and sat across from her. "I know how you feel. You know you're a hunter now, but it isn't exactly good news. Sam took it the same way when he found out what our family did." Dean sighed. For as close as they had gotten over the past weeks, this wasn't how he expected it to end.

"I'm not from here," Buffy mumbled when Dean was at the door. "I have to go with you," she said with surprising conviction. "I'll be ready in two minutes."

Dean blinked at her sudden change, but smiled a little none the less.

* * *

It had taken several hundred miles, but Dean's cell phone suddenly sounded like a Las Vegas slot machine as it gained reception. Buffy started, but Dean laughed as he pulled over and eagerly grabbed it. There were dozens of missed calls, though only a few voice mails.

Dean scrolled through the numbers. His dad had called twice, one of the calls taking place at two in the morning. Drunk dialing, Dean decided. Most of the other calls were his brother. Dean dialed his voice mail and sat back to listen.

 

"Hey, Dean," Sam's message began. "I can't believe I'm still calling. I just keep hoping you'll pick up, you know? I miss you, man. I wish you were here. I," Sam's voice cracked and Dean swore it sounded like the kid was crying. "I'm sorry for how I left. I should have tried harder with Dad. I should have listened to you." Sam's message fell silent, then Dean heard a quiet, "I'm sorry, Dean."

 

The next message was Sam again. This time, he didn't sound as pathetic. "Dean, I hope wherever you are, you're having a great time. Of course you are, you always found a way to have fun. Remember that time in Wyoming when you turned our room into a giant blanket fort because it was too cold for me to play outside? That was awesome, man. I don't know if I ever thanked you for that, but, dude, I loved that. I should have told you that more often. You were an awesome brother. I really miss you, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes. "It's official. College has turned my brother into a girl." He put away his phone and pulled back onto the road. "He called just to say he missed me."

"Aw, that's sweet. Do you want to go visit him?"

Dean cocked a brow at her. "Don't you think we should figure out your deal, first?"

"Dean, he's your brother! My sitch can wait. What's a few more days, given that I've spent the last two months not knowing?" Buffy replied with genuine affection in her voice.

Dean shook his head. "Sam's fine. I'll call him when we stop for the night."

Buffy's offer brought a change of attitude in Dean. He slowed his rush to Bobby Singer's.

As they drove through Kansas, Buffy could no longer ignore the questions stirring within her. She thought she'd start with an obvious one. "So, hunting. You and your dad, you're hunters not detectives."

Dean turned down the music. "Yeah. We do have to do some detective work, figure out what we're up against. But, no, we're not actual detectives."

"How do you do that? Find a case and figure out what you're hunting?"

"Well, uh, my dad's the expert, but we look for freaky accidents and unexplained deaths and then see if they had a supernatural cause."

"And all those weapons, all that stuff in the trunk, you use that to kill things."

Dean worried that his answer would upset her, but thought he should be honest. "Yeah, but these things are evil sons of bitches that need to be killed. We're not just killing for the sake of killing."

Buffy nodded. "Like what kind of things? What have you killed?"

Dean shrugged. "Mostly, I'm salting and burning spirits. But I did put down a werewolf when I was sixteen."

Buffy's eyes widened in surprised awe. "A werewolf? Werewolves are real?"

"Yeah. Like I said, most monsters are real."

"Do you know what those things are I'm dreaming about? The things with the teeth? Could they be vampires?" Buffy asked not believing they could be having such a bizarre conversation.

"I've never seen a real vampire; I don't think they exist, but who knows. The things might be Vetala. My dad would know for sure. Or Bobby would. Bobby's the guy we're going to see. He's really smart, has books about everything." Dean hoped taking Buffy to Bobby Singer would help them find answers and make Buffy feel better. Dean wanted his smiling, laughing Buffy back. He hadn't seen her smile since she found the weapons in the trunk.

* * *

Dean knocked on the door and turned to Buffy. "Bobby'll have the answers, babe, don't worry. Bobby knows everything."

"Keep your pants on, I'm comin'," Bobby grumbled and pulled open the door. He stared at Dean in shock, his mouth falling open to barely whisper, "Dean?"

"Hey, Uncle Bobby. I know you weren't expecting me."

Bobby shook his head in surprise.

Dean turned and wrapped his arm around Buffy as she appeared beside him. "This is my friend, Buffy. I'm helping her get back home, and I'm hoping you could help us with something."

Buffy smiled weakly at the stunned man. "Hi."

Bobby stood there blinking. He couldn't believe his eyes. "Dean."

The repeat of his name made Dean roll his eyes. "Looks like someone's been hitting the liquor cabinet a little early. Bobby, are you going to let us in?" He leaned close to Bobby and lowered his voice. "Come on, man. I told her you'd be cool and help."

Bobby shook himself and stepped back. "Yeah, yeah, of course, come on in."

Dean took Buffy's hand and led her into the dusty living room. Bobby rushed to clear some papers from his coffee table and Dean and Buffy sat.

"So, how did you two find each other?" Bobby asked, hoping to get Dean to begin again.

"I guess I should start at the beginning." He scrubbed a hand over his hair as he thought. "Right after the blow up over Sam going to school, I was driving through Texas. I came across Buffy here, laying in the road, unconscious. I took her to the hospital and it turns out she sort of has amnesia. She knows her name, but not much else."

Bobby looked back and forth between them. "Wouldn't seeing a doctor be the -"

"There's no medical reason for my condition," Buffy said with a glance to Dean. "Dean thinks he knows a better reason I may not remember my life."

"I think she's a hunter."

"What?" Bobby nearly laughed. The girl was tiny, a hunter? No way.

"Bobby, I'm serious. You should see her handling a weapon."

"And I've had these dreams where I'm fighting these things. I don't know what they are, but they're not human."

"I was thinking, couldn't a demon do this to her? Make her forget who she is and leave her in the middle of nowhere?"

Bobby could tell from their expressions that Dean and Buffy were serious, so he nodded. "I reckon one could. What exactly do you need my help with?"

"Do you know of any hunters that have gone missing? I think maybe a demon made her family forget her, or think she was dead or something."

Bobby pushed back his hat and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Well, it's not like there's a hunters' union or anything for me to check. But I can make some calls, see if anyone knows of a hunter matching your description."

Dean's face broke into a grin. "Told ya Bobby would help," he said, squeezing Buffy's hand.

"Thank you," Buffy said modestly.

"Yeah, thanks, Bobby."

"No problem kids. Miss, do you remember anything else? Where you were, if you have a partner? Anything I can use to narrow my search a little?"

Buffy thought for a moment. "I think I have a sister. And, maybe I work with an older guy. He's British, I think. Or maybe he's my step-dad. I don't know."

"A British guy, huh?"

Dean recognized Bobby's tone. "Is that important, Bobby? Do you know a British guy that's a hunter?"

Bobby put up his hand to calm Dean's enthusiasm. "I don't know, Dean. But, I have some contacts I can call. How do I get in touch with you if I find out anything?" Bobby asked as he stood.

Dean looked confused at the odd question, but figured it meant Bobby wasn't comfortable letting Buffy stay in his home. "You can call me or we'll stop back in a couple days."

As they were leaving, Dean rubbed a hand over his head. "Bobby, have you heard from my dad? He hasn't been returning my calls. I figure he's pissed, but he is okay, right? Nothing's happened to him?"

Bobby tried to give Dean a reassuring smile. "Dean, you know your father, stubborn as a mule. But, I'da heard if something had happened to him."

"Right, thanks." Dean didn't look reassured.

Once they had left, Bobby Singer stared at his phone. Part of him wanted to call John Winchester, but he thought it would be better to have some answers first.

* * *

"Harvelle's."

"Ellen, it's Bobby Singer. You know anything about a missing hunter? She's a young thing, early twenties, blond."

"No, Bobby, can't say that I have, but I'll keep my ears open."

"Thanks, Ellen. You remember that hunter named Cain that was goin' on about an English guy stopping his wolf hunt?"

Ellen paused as she thought. "Yeah, I remember Cain was all bent outta shape for a while after that. Said he wasn't going back to California."

"You don't happen to remember the English fella's name, do ya?"

"This got something to do with the missing girl?"

"I don't know, to tell the truth. But I've got a hunch the English guy might know a thing or two."

"Well, I don't remember the guy's name, but Jo might. She was kind of interested in Cain's story. Let me ask her and I'll get back to you."

"Thanks, Ellen, you're a doll."

Ellen snorted a laugh. "Right back atcha, Singer."

* * *

"So now what?" Buffy asked when Dean got behind the wheel.

"Bobby'll figure out something," Dean said defensively.

Dean's tone made Buffy shrink back slightly. In a quieter tone, she asked, "I meant, what do we do now?"

Dean was quiet and he rubbed a hand over his head as he thought. "You wanna look for a job?"

"A job? Didn't I just quit a waitressing job?"

"I mean, a hunt. Do you want to try hunting?"

"You want to go hunting the evil big bad things that go bump in the night and you want me to go with you?" Buffy wasn't sure if her voice quivered with shock or fear.

"Well, uh, there's not going to be any jobs around here, Bobby would have taken care of anything near Sioux Falls. But, Bobby has a cabin just a couple hours away, where the White River widens. We could go there, check the papers and internet for a job and see just how much training you've had."

Buffy grimaced, training didn't sound like fun, and neither did hunting bad things that went bump in the night. She wanted a normal life. "I don't know, Dean," she replied with as much enthusiasm as a person facing a root canal.

Her attitude didn't go unnoticed. "It might help you remember something," Dean suggested.

"Yeah, maybe." Buffy sighed and slumped against the window.

* * *

A couple hours later, they were leaving the local general store, loaded down with supplies to last the rest of the week.

Bobby's cabin wasn't luxurious, it was only a couple of rooms, but it was one of Dean's favorite places on earth. He spent plenty of time here practicing archery or shooting and learning how to track. Bobby also took him and Sam fishing here whenever their dad dumped them on the man for more than a few days. He had always found the place relaxing.

Buffy stood in the main room, looking around, as Dean carried bags to the kitchen. Returning from his second trip to the car, he found Buffy looking at the bookshelves. When she saw him, she held out a picture frame. "Who is this all bundled up like they're at the North Pole?"

Dean took the frame and smiled. "That's my brother, Sam. Bobby took us ice fishing."

"Ice fishing?" Buffy wrinkled her nose. "That sounds like it would be big on cold and not big on fun."

Dean shrugged. "It's a good survival skill." He put the photograph back on the shelf.

"Is this your dad with you in this one?" Buffy asked holding up a photograph of John and Dean with his bow as they stood over a deer.

"Yeah. That's my first deer," Dean admitted, waiting for the "Bambi killer" remark that was sure to come.

"He looks proud of you," Buffy said as she returned the picture to the shelf.

Dean shook his head. "I got it in one shot. I had been so worried I'd disappoint him, and he'd never take me hunting again. I guess all my practicing paid off."

Eager to change the subject, Dean said, "There's sheets and stuff in the chest in there." He pointed to the bedroom. "Why don't you get settled while I unpack the groceries? You want me to heat up the chicken stuff for dinner?"

"Okay." Buffy watched him walk away and felt an unfamiliar ache. He was giving her space, and though she appreciated it, she wanted things back the way they had been.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


After their late dinner, Buffy cleaned up. They had an agreement, one would cook the other would clean. When she finished, she couldn't believe how tired she was. She was about to tell Dean she was going to bed, when she saw he had a pillow and blanket on the couch. "Dean? You don't have to.."

He barely looked at her. "It's okay, Buffy. The couch folds out. I'll be fine out here."

When he didn't look at her, Buffy felt that pang again, and slowly walked to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Dean stared after her, wanting more than anything for things to go back to how they had been the week before.

* * *

Buffy walked on a beach by the ocean. The sun was out, but a light breeze kept if from feeling too warm. When a wave rolled over her feet, she felt someone by her side and an arm go around her waist in a soft hug. Buffy relaxed and moved into the hug. "Mom?"

"Hi, Buffy."

Buffy stopped walking to embrace her mom completely. "Mom, I've missed you so much."

"I miss you too, Buffy." As they released each other, Joyce ran a hand tenderly over Buffy's hair. "How are you, dear?"

"I don't remember who I am."

"Yes, you do," Joyce replied as they continued to walk along the beach.

"No, Mom. I remember my name is Buffy and that you're my mom, Joyce, but I don't remember anything else."

Joyce took her hand. "Well, you will, don't worry."

They walked in silence as Buffy's head swam with questions. Finally, a few came bubbling out. "How did I end up on that highway? Is it true I hunt monsters? Do I have a sister? Is she okay?"

"Your sister is fine."

"She is?"

"Yes, Dawn is just fine, your friends are taking care of her, don't worry."

"Dawn. My sister's name is Dawn. And she's fine?"

Joyce nodded.

Buffy nodded with her, but her brow wrinkled in confusion. "My friends? Willow? Xan-?"

Joyce smiled as Buffy began to remember. "Yes, and Mr. Giles."

"Giles," Buffy repeated as the memory of her watcher returned to her. "They're okay?"

"You don't have to worry about them anymore, Buffy," Joyce assured her with a squeeze.

They continued their stroll on the beach, enjoying each others' company, when Joyce squeezed Buffy again. "Tell me about the boy you're with."

Buffy felt herself blush. "Dean. I like him."

"I can tell." Joyce nudged her arm. "I haven't seen you blush like that since you asked Billy Fordham to be your Valentine in fifth grade."

"Dean's way better than Ford ever was," Buffy said with a smile.

"How did you meet him?"

"He's the one who found me when I didn't know who I was, and he took care of me."

Joyce nodded and looked around. "I'm glad he was there for you. Where's his family?"

"His brother's at school and his dad is working somewhere."

"So, he only has you."

Buffy paused as she thought about that. "Yeah, it's just us. Me and Dean."

She looked at her mother and worried that what she would say next would upset her. "Are monsters real? Dean said they are and that I fight them. Is that true?"

Joyce looked to the horizon for a moment as she thought. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes," Buffy answered without hesitation.

Her answer made Joyce smile. "Instead of worrying about being the Slayer, why don't you try to enjoy being with Dean? He needs you and you deserve this, Buffy. You both do." Joyce seemed to be looking at something in the distance. When Buffy turned to see what her mother was looking at, she found herself looking at a moon beam shining through a window.

She sat up, shocked to realize it had only been a dream. It had felt so real Buffy could almost smell the ocean.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


She walked to the other room and watched Dean sleep. She hugged her pillow to her; she so desperately wanted to crawl into bed with him. Three nights of sleeping in separate beds made her ache to feel the warmth and safety of his arms around her. She took a step closer and stopped. She didn't want to be 'needy girl', she wanted Dean to want her again, the way she wanted him. Sighing, she returned to the other room.

* * *

Dean put aside the paper he was reading when Buffy entered the kitchen. "Morning. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, you?" Buffy wanted to tell him that she hasn't slept well since they started sleeping apart, but Dean had gone back to his paper. "Anything good in there?"

"No, nothing that looks like a job," Dean scowled, then tilted his head towards the stove. "Coffee's ready. You want me to make you breakfast?"

"No, I'm good," Buffy answered, relieved he hadn't found anything for them to 'hunt'. She began to make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Dean watched her for a moment then said quietly, "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Coming here. You don't want to be here. We shoulda stayed in Sioux Falls. I'm sorry. I thought this would help you remember, but," he looked at her, "maybe you wanted out of the life. And here I am trying to force it on you. Sorry."

Completely confused by what he was saying, Buffy just stared at him.

"If you want, we can head out whenever you're ready. Okay?"

"Okay," Buffy answered though she was unsure of what she wanted.

Dean nodded. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. Then you can let me know what you want to do."

Buffy sat at the table lost in thought. What did she want? She remembered her dream and all the answers her mother gave her. She was a slayer. She wasn't clear on where she was from, but it'd be easy to figure out and then Dean would take her home and... Buffy's mind cleared.

  
**#*#*#*#**  


After his shower, Dean risked forcing Buffy's decision. He thought if he showed her they didn't have to focus on hunting, she'd want to stay at the cabin with him.

"Wanna go for a ride?" Dean asked.

Buffy shrugged, "Sure."

Instead of walking to the Impala, Dean dragged Buffy to the small out building on Bobby's property. "Dean? Where are you taking me?"

"Don't worry, I just wanna show you something." Dean lifted the overhead door to reveal a custom Harley-Davidson Sportster. Then, he turned to grin at Buffy. "Well, still wanna go for that ride?"

  
**#*#*#*#**  


Buffy wrapped her arms around Dean's waist and held on tightly as he gunned the engine. They raced down back roads with the wind in their faces and the sun on their backs. Buffy felt like they were flying. It made her feel free and she let her worries slip away.

Buffy loved how Dean felt so warm and strong in her arms as she was basically forced into hugging him tightly. She rested her cheek against his back. Yeah, this definitely does not suck, she thought to herself.

Dean, on the other hand, was worried Buffy would figure out his motives. Buffy hadn't smiled or touched him since she saw what was in the trunk of the car. He knew she wasn't going to have much choice but to hold him as they rode. "You good?" Dean called over his shoulder.

"Yeah. This is awesome!" Buffy yelled back giving him a gentle squeeze to let him know she was enjoying herself.

Dean relaxed, hoping her reply meant she was smiling.

* * *

After speeding along for most of the day, they came to a small town, and Dean pulled into a roadside diner.

Buffy watched the girl working the counter flirt shamelessly with Dean and it made her blood boil unexpectedly. She grimaced and turned away, deciding to stretch out the kinks in her back from the long ride. When she turned back, Dean was watching her with a near leering grin. "Don't stop on my account," he said making Buffy blush.

Her blush and her reply evaporated as the girl from the counter approached them. Dean noticed the change in Buffy, but didn't know what caused it. "Here ya go," she said as she handed a small package to Dean.

"Thanks." When the girl walked off, Dean handed Buffy the package. "I got this for you. For your hair." Buffy unwrapped a pink bandana and gave Dean a questioning look. "Hey, I think your just got lai- out of bed look is hot, but I figured you're tired of your hair whipping around as we ride."

There was a moment of panic as Buffy realized what she must look like after the long ride. She quickly checked her look in the bike's mirror, thinking she'd see a wreck. Instead she saw she did look wind blown, but not bad. She tied the bandana around her hair. "Thanks, Dean."

"Are you good with the ride? We can turn back if you want."

"No, I love it. Where are we going?"

Buffy sat at the picnic table and Dean sat next to her straddling the bench and pulling her into the vee of his legs. He rested his hand on the small of her back. "Well, honestly," Dean pushed down his nerves, "I've got no destination in mind. I just like the ride."

The waitress brought them an order of fries. "Don't get me wrong," Dean began, "I love my car. There's not a better machine on the road, but sometimes, I just like the freedom I feel on the bike." Buffy was looking at him strangely. "That was stupid, wasn't it?" he said, ducking his head. His embarrassment moved him a fraction of an inch away from her.

"No. It makes me feel like I'm flying."

Dean was relieved, but a little surprised; that's how he had always felt about it.

* * *

After a day on the bike, Buffy was eager to relax in a hot shower. The ride had been incredible, but once back at the cabin, Dean seemed almost skittish. He jumped at his chance for a shower the second Buffy was done.

Dean walked out of the steamy bathroom, with bare feet, his jeans undone, humming, and carrying a t-shirt because the bathroom was too humid to finish dressing.

From across the room, Buffy watched him. He tossed his shirt onto the couch and stretched his neck to crack it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Buffy's hand touched his back. "Buffy! Geez, you scared the..." He turned to her and she let her hand skim over his shoulder to his chest.

The look in her eyes stopped his words. She wet her lips as her eyes met his.

"I don't want to hunt big bads. I don't want to go back to Sioux Falls."

"Okay," he replied, though he was distracted by the heated look in her eyes.

"I don't want to sleep in separate rooms," she said just above a whisper as she moved even closer. "I don't want to sleep in separate beds."

Dean nodded as Buffy's body pressed against his.

"I want -" she panted, stretching up and tilting her head to bring their mouths together.

She dragged her lips along his jaw, and worked her way to suck on a spot just below his ear. She whispered his name against his skin as she continued to kiss his neck. His hands suddenly gripped her arms, when she sucked on the spot where his neck and shoulder met.

Worried that his actions meant he wanted her to stop, Buffy went up on her toes, leaning against him for support, and kissed his lips. A soft moan escaped Dean as she sucked on his bottom lip and his hands moved from her arms to her back to hold her to him.

Now confident that he wanted her, too, Buffy slowly turned them so Dean would fall slowly back on the couch. She straddled his lap and continued her assault on his lips, jaw and neck. She broke contact to lean back and tear her cami over her head. Dean's breath stuttered as he watched.

Buffy loved how Dean's lust filled eyes drank her in. His hand on her back pressed her forward, allowing him to cover her mouth with his again. He kissed her slowly and deeply, as if there was nothing else in the world. Buffy thought she was going to come apart just from his kiss.

She slowly rolled her hips against him and moaned into his mouth. His hands began a torturous exploration of her body. Buffy broke the kiss just so she could lean back and look at him. Her gaze traveled from his eyes to his lips and back and somehow she wanted him even more. Her hips rocked against him and Dean's hand tightened on her. A soft, "Buffy" escaped his lips and his head tipped back.

Taking that as an invitation to explore his neck, Buffy didn't disappoint. He smelled of soap and generic shampoo and he tasted warm and salty and when she sucked on a tender spot, she earned another soft moan.

Buffy lifted off his lap onto her knees. "Please, Dean," she whispered hotly into his ear. He worked her panties down until she took over and he shifted around to slide his jeans and boxers down. The moment he was settled, Buffy guided him in. She remained still for a moment, completely entranced by the feel of him inside her. A tiny gasp left her and Dean took advantage and plundered her mouth. He twined his hand in her hair and tugged gently to get to her neck.

Buffy couldn't take it any longer. "Dean, I need to -" she didn't finish. Instead she began to slowly raise herself up then sink back down. Her slow movements were agonizing, but perfect as Dean grew harder once she moved.

His hands returned to her hips, in his weak attempt at having control over Buffy's movements. But that was futile once Buffy looked to where their bodies were joined. The insanely hot noise she made when she watched him slide in and out of her as she moved, nearly sent Dean over the edge. Watching her watch them, fried nearly all of Dean's brain cells. In a final attempt to send her over the edge before him, Dean took her hand from his shoulder and brought it to where they were joined so that together, they could bring her over. As she touched herself, her movements lost rhythm forcing Dean to keep the pace.

Trembling as her orgasm washed through her, she clung to Dean's shoulders panting as Dean increased his movements. His head tipped back, neck arching when his climax slammed through his body, leaving him sweaty, exhausted, and mostly incoherent.

With Dean still inside her, Buffy ran her fingers through his sweat drenched hair, and panted, "And I wanna do that, like, a million more times."

"Uh-huh." Dean was too sex addled to say more.

Buffy wore a lazy grin. "Is that a 'yes'?"

Dean opened his eyes but couldn't manage much more. "Mm-hmm, wha'ever you want." He collapsed back pulling her into another searing kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean didn't care if he found a hunt for them. Hell, he was beginning not to care if he ever hunted again. As he watched Buffy carry food from the kitchen to the small picnic table, he wondered if she knew how good she looked in those cut-offs. The week they spent hanging out at Bobby's cabin had given Buffy a golden tan and Dean wanted to spend every moment running his fingers over her soft skin. However, if he acted on that feeling right then, like he wanted to, their burgers would burn. Instead, he took a long drink from his beer and flipped the meat on the grill.

The sun glinting off Dean's beer as he tipped it back, caught Buffy's eye. Buffy felt the sudden desire to be his beer bottle. She watched his throat work as he swallowed and it took every ounce of will-power she had not to go over to him and kiss his neck. She smiled to herself as she thought of the little mmm sound Dean made whenever she kissed a certain spot on his neck.

****

***#*#*#***

Once they had finished their meal, Buffy brought Dean another beer as he made a small campfire. "It's really nice here," Buffy said quietly.

"Yeah, I used to love coming here with Bobby." Dean stood behind her and enfolded her in his arms. He brushed her hair to one side to allow himself to kiss her neck.

Buffy closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder as his kiss warmed her in a way the campfire never could. But, she remembered she had to tell him something. "Dean? Uh, not that I don't love you doing that, but -"

Dean stopped immediately. "But what?"

"Well," Buffy sighed, unwrapped his arms from her and stepped forward. "We left Texas because I wasn't from there. Well, I'm certainly not from here either."

Dean nodded. He knew he was being selfish, wanting to keep her for himself. "So we should get going, huh?"

"I don't know. I mean, I love being here, and even though I'm not from here, I kinda don't want to go anywhere else." She took his hands. "Do you think there might be another way we can figure out where I'm from?"

Dean felt like he was falling into her eyes. "I know you don't want to hunt, but maybe if we did some work with the weapons you'll remember something."

Buffy stood on her toes. "Okay. Tomorrow, you can show me all those shiny weapons you keep in your car." She kissed him.

"Shiny?" Dean asked against her lips, making her smile.

She nodded but didn't stop kissing him. "I like the shiny ones."

* * *

"Well?" They stood together peering into the open trunk of the Impala. "Where do you want to start?"

Buffy's mouth twisted in indecision. "I don't know." Her fingers traced over the rifle, but it didn't feel natural to her. "Maybe the throwing stars?"

Dean shook his head. "We know you can throw. Remember darts? How about the handgun? I've got a Glock here that would be perfect for you." He grabbed the weapon, some bullets, and a target and headed toward the field next to the cabin.

After attaching the target to a post, Dean checked the gun. "All right, watch me, then you try. Safety. Aim. Exhale as you gently squeeze the trigger." He fired off a round, squarely hitting the bulls-eye.

Buffy took the gun and repeated Dean's actions. However, she had not been prepared for the recoil and the bullet went off target. "Geez that was awful."

"That was my fault. Forgot to warn you about that. Try again. Remember it's gonna kick like that and you should be fine."

She fired three shots in succession; each one hitting the target.

"You're a natural," Dean said as she handed him the gun.

Buffy made a face. "I don't know, Dean. It didn't feel right."

Taking that into consideration, Dean looked over his gun collection. "That one's pretty," Buffy said pointing to a nickel plated gun with ivory handles.

Dean reluctantly handed her that gun. "Alright try this one. It's lighter and you might like its balance better than the Glock."

Buffy took aim and hit the target four times, then turned to Dean with a bright smile.

Dean struggled to keep the grin from his face. Buffy had turned the target into a smiley face. "You wanna try the rifle or the shotgun next?"

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "No, I think I'd rather try hand to hand."

Dean smirked. "We try hand to hand, and you'd win no question."

Buffy's brows shot up.

"Like I'm not gonna let you get me on the ground and have your way with me," he teased.

"Aw, are you saying you're defenseless against me?"

"You know it, sweetheart," Dean answered, pulling her into a kiss.

Buffy giggled into the kiss. "Dean," she chided playfully, "we're supposed to be working with weapons."

Dean backed off. "Okay, fine. How do you feel about archery? Bobby's got a couple bows and a crossbow around here somewhere."

"Ooh, a crossbow, I like the sound of that."

* * *

The air was hot and dry and the slight breeze did little to alleviate the heat. Dean had just climbed onto the pier after having swum in the river to cool off. Grinning mischievously at where Buffy sat reading, he shook his head like a dog. Water went flying in all directions, making Dean laugh when Buffy screeched. With a self-satisfied smile on his face, he sat on the pier with his back against the boat support and closed his eyes to the sun.

"You're a brat."

"Yep."

"You got my book wet."

"You're on the river, you're supposed to get wet. How come you're chicken to go swimming with me?"

Buffy looked at the murky water then back at him. "I'm not chicken; it's just the water looks a bit icky."

"Icky?"

"Yeah, icky. And I don't like not being able to see to the bottom. Something might brush up against me." Buffy shuddered.

"'Something?'"

"Like a fish or even some sea weed. It'd be gross."

Dean nodded. "Like I said, you're chicken." He cracked an eye open to see her flustered reaction. He sat up and looked at her intently. "And I gotta say I'm hurt. Like I'd let 'something icky' get you."

Buffy huffed a laugh.

Dean crawled over to her, took the book from her hands, and cupped her cheek. "The only thing I'd let come near you is me," he said before he kissed her.

Buffy easily lost herself in the kiss, so she didn't notice how Dean had kept moving or that his arms had slipped around her. He broke off the kiss and winked at her just before rolling them both off the pier into the lake.

When she sputtered to the surface, she greeted Dean with a glare. "Oh, it is so on."

He grinned, "Bring it, sweetheart."

They chased and splashed and tackled each other until Dean found himself with Buffy's arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He hummed into a kiss. "I think I won."

Buffy's brow quirked. "Oh really? I'm pretty sure I could take you down in a second without really trying."

Dean kissed her neck. "You're right you probably could. But I'm the one with the armful of hot girl. And that's a hell of a great prize, if you ask me."

Buffy shifted in his embrace. "Hey, you can't make with the neck kissage and think I'm going to give in."

Dean stopped kissing her neck and looked her in the eye. "Okay, fine. You win. Can we get back to the kissing now? Or do you have to dunk me under again?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she thought. "Dunk you." She released her legs and shoved his shoulders and laughed as he fell under.

When he surfaced, Dean scooped her up and carried her to the shore. He set her down, but didn't let her go. He smiled and combed her wet hair off her face. The way he looked at her made Buffy's heart race and she couldn't help herself. "I love you."

Dean's smile faded a bit, but he kissed her in a way that made her forget that he hadn't said it in return.

* * *

That night, in bed, she said it again. She had her head on his chest and her fingers were drawing lazy patterns on his chest. "I love you."

Dean grabbed her hand and stopped its movement on his skin. "No, you don't."

Buffy pushed herself up on her elbow to look at him. "I don't?"

Dean dragged his hand over his head. "No, you don't, Buffy. There's like six billion people in the world. I'm the only one you know. You don't love me, you might think you do, but you don't."

Buffy wanted to laugh. "Are you saying if I knew more people, then I could love you?" she asked over a slight laugh.

Dean shook his head slightly, but didn't say anything. Finally he replied, "You don't love me, Buffy." He could tell Buffy wanted to argue, so he added, "You'll see. When you get home, you'll see."

Buffy didn't understand, but she didn't want to fight about it. She tenderly stroked Dean's chest and swore he was trembling. "Fine, Dean. Whatever."

She lay back on the pillow. _You don't want me to tell you I love you, I won't tell you anymore. You can't stop how I feel_.

Dean sighed and let Buffy curl up against him. There was no way on earth he was going to tell her he knew when she got home she'd forget all about Dean Winchester. Hell, even his family seemed to have forgotten about him. Despite what she said, Buffy wouldn't be different from anybody else.

Dean watched the shifting pattern of shadows created by the moon and the trees. He wished there was a way for him to stay with Buffy. He wished she still want him after she got home, but he knew better than to wish for something like that.

* * *

Time sped by. Neither Dean nor Buffy seemed to care that the world was getting along without them. Dean couldn't remember the last time he checked his phone, and Buffy didn't care that her last name was still unknown to her. All that mattered was each other.

It wasn't until Dean heard the Harleys making their annual trip up to Sturgis that he thought about returning to Sioux Falls to see if Bobby had learned anything about Buffy. But, it wasn't until the first leaves began to change that they actually made the drive to Singer Salvage.

****

***#*#*#***

"Dean, I'm surprised to see you again," Bobby said as Dean sheepishly ducked his head.

"Yeah, we kinda got sidetracked. Sorry about that." He grinned over at Buffy who blushed and nearly hid behind Dean.

"Well, come in I guess." Bobby stood aside and smiled when he saw their entwined hands as they passed. "So, you learn anything new since the last time we spoke?"

Dean shook his head. "No, but we haven't been looking too hard either."

Bobby tried to ignore how Buffy's blush had returned and how she nudged Dean's arm in a rebuke. "Well, I may have found something, but I'll let you be the judge." He went to bookcase and retrieved a book he hadn't opened for years. He set it on the table in front of Dean and Buffy.

**VAMPYR**

It meant nothing to Dean, but Buffy's eyes widened with recognition. "You know that book, don't you?" Bobby asked, though he knew her answer.

Buffy nodded slowly like the book had entranced her. "My watcher had one like it."

Dean turned to Buffy in shock. "Watcher? What's a watcher? Buffy, what else do you remember?"

Buffy shook herself free. "I, that man, his name is Giles. He's my watcher."

"What man? The one from your dreams?"

Buffy nodded. "The older man with the accent." She faced Dean. "He's like a trainer or a mentor. I'm the Slayer and he helps me know what I'm up against."

"You're a 'slayer'? What the hell is that?"

Buffy opened her mouth to answer, but instead, Bobby spoke up. "Into every generation, she is born," he said. "One girl in all the world, a Chosen One, the Slayer. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness, to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number." Bobby returned the book to its shelf.

When he turned back around, he found Dean scrutinizing the girl. "Rupert Giles is, or at least he was, a watcher. He and his Slayer guarded the hellmouth."

Buffy closed her eyes. If she could go back in time and stop them from coming here, stop Dean from learning this, she could stay 'Buffy'. Now, now, he knows and everything will be different.

"I knew it!" Dean crowed. "I didn't know you were a Slayer, but I knew you were a hunter. Same thing, right?" He looked from Buffy to Bobby and back. "Buffy, this means I was right. A demon or something did this to you. No one is looking for you because they all think you're dead."

Buffy opened her eyes to look at him. He really didn't care that she was a slayer? To him she was still just 'Buffy'. She turned to Bobby. "Is that right? Do they think I'm dead?"

Bobby looked between them and sighed. How much should he tell them? "Yeah, it's a good bet."

"Don't think about that right now, Buffy. We'll straighten that out when we get you home." He gave Buffy's shoulders a reassuring squeeze and turned back to Bobby. "So, did you find out anything else about this Giles guy? Or where she's from? Anything?" Dean asked with an eager smile.

Bobby looked at the nervous girl and scratched his beard in thought before he answered. "The watcher's council is a secretive group, I'm lucky I got that much. But, I'm a sneaky bastard and I found out there's two hellmouths in the U.S. One's in California, a town called Sunnydale, and the other is Cleveland, Ohio."

Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. "Well, Buff, where to? Ohio or sunny California?"

"There's more," Bobby said quickly, though he saw the anxiety of the girl before him. "The council didn't want to share much, claiming they were trying to protect their girl, but they did tell me there was a Slayer gone missing." Dean became even more excited at this news. "She goes by the name Faith and unfortunately, she doesn't match your description, at all."

"Another Slayer? What does that mean? I thought you said there was only one," Dean asked, but it was too much for Buffy. Overcome with the possibility of going home, she was speechless. She found it difficult to breathe and looked like she was about to panic. "Buffy?"

"I need some air." She rushed from the house and braced herself against the Impala. After everything he'd done for her, Buffy didn't want to lie to Dean, but she dreaded the thought of going home.

Dean immediately went to follow her, but stopped at the door, deciding to let her cope with everything Bobby had said.

****

***#*#*#***

However, Dean bringing this girl to his home was nearly too much for Bobby. "Why are you helping her?"

Dean didn't answer right away. Instead he watched Buffy as she rested against the car. "I don't know, Bobby. I have to. I'm the one that found her and she's got no one else to help her." After a minute he added, "It's like how I had to watch out for Sam, only he doesn't need me anymore. Now, I have to make sure Buffy gets home."

Bobby watched Dean as he spoke about the girl.

Dean gave Buffy a smile when she looked over at him and Bobby had never seen him look like that. The smile disappeared nearly as quickly as it formed the moment she looked away and Bobby saw something like remorse color Dean's features. "I've gotta get her home, Bobby."

"I wish I had more to tell you, but the only hunter I know that had a run in with a slayer is a guy named Cain. The girl put him in his place and he ain't looking to talk about it."

"Thanks anyway, Bobby."

"Sure, kid." Bobby went to clap Dean on the shoulder, but thought better of it. Dean had never been one to get all 'touchy feely' about things, Bobby shouldn't have expected it to be different now, but the young man's face had always been an open book. With one look, Bobby could tell Dean was as close to in love as he ever had been and it broke his heart.

****

***#*#*#***

Dean could hear her sniffing as he approached, but he had no idea why she would be crying. He would have thought finding out what she was, who she was, would have been good news. "Buffy?"

She wiped her eyes, but didn't look at him.

Dean held her until her crying stopped, until he felt her relax against him. Standing there in the evening sun, Dean wanted nothing more than to keep holding her. Buffy had taken a hold of his heart and he knew he was going to hate letting her go.

Buffy had calmed herself and stepped back. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Hey, no problem. Shirt's old, a few tears aren't going to hurt it." Dean teased hoping to make her smile.

"Now what? Where do we go from here?" Buffy asked

"Well, I was thinking we'd head to Kansas City. From there, we can find out if this Giles person is in Cleveland or California and then, I think we should find your sister, make sure she's okay and knows you're alive."

After a brief, grateful smile, Buffy asked, "You really don't care that I'm a Slayer?"

Dean looked confused. "No, why would I care? Are you going to 'slay' me?"

"No, but, I mean, it does make me kind of a freak."

Dean smiled softly. "Yeah, but you're my freak." He reached for her hand, laced their fingers together, and then brought her hand to his lips for a quick kiss.

Buffy stared at their hands. He really didn't care? Buffy said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever made Dean be the one to find her.

* * *

The moment he was alone again, Bobby placed the call he'd been dreading.

"John, it's Bobby. What the hell is going on? Dean was just here."

"What do you mean 'Dean was there'?"

"Dean. He was here at my house with some girl."

"A girl?" John repeated as if that would make it more understandable.

"He said he had to help her find her way home. John, she's a Slayer. What's-"

"A Slayer?" John was quiet for a moment then his temper bled out. "This is your fault, Singer! I know you put those ideas about college in Sammy's head. If it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened. I'd still have Sam and Dean with me -"

"That's right. It's my fault the kid wanted a better life," Bobby argued back. "Fine, I'll take the blame. What are you going to do about Dean?"

"Don't worry about Dean. I'll take care of him."

"John, he might take the girl to California. Maybe he'll go see Sam."

John nodded even though he knew Bobby couldn't see that. "That sounds like something Dean would do. Try to force me to see his brother."

* * *

"When did you remember who you were, or, I guess, what you were?" Dean asked. They had left Bobby's and were on their way to Kansas. Once in Kansas City, they'd choose which direction to travel; east to Cleveland or west to Sunnydale. Dean turned down the music and shot Buffy an expectant look.

Worried he'd be angry, Buffy chewed her nail and wondered if he'd leave her on the side of the road.

"Buffy?" Dean recognized her nervous avoidance. "Hey, look, I get that it freaked you out."

"The first night we were in the cabin," she said quickly.

Momentarily stunned, Dean couldn't reply.

"That night I had a dream about my mom." Buffy sighed. It was so long ago, and since then, she and Dean had become so close, she had nearly forgotten her past life.

"I figured you'd think it was just a dream but, I knew it was more. My mom died this past year." Seeing Dean's question before he asked it, Buffy said, "It wasn't a monster or a demon or anything I could fight. She had a brain aneurysm. She just, she was..." Buffy's breath hitched and she couldn't speak.

Dean pulled over. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. That sucks." His hand reached for her shoulder, but Buffy shook him off.

When she had her emotions under control, Buffy continued. "In my dream, she told me my sister was fine, my friends and Giles were fine. She told me not to worry about being the Slayer and that I should just enjoy being with you."

Dean could only stare at her as her revelation washed over him. "So, you had a dream that told you to just blow off your sister, your friends and that watcher guy? And you think that makes it okay to forget about them?" He stared at her, but Buffy wouldn't meet his eyes.

"You were right," she said, her voice hoarse from fighting tears. "I was a Slayer, but I was running from that life when you found me. I don't know how I ended up on that highway, but I remember," she paused, gathering her strength. Her memory wasn't clear, but she remembered Dawn in danger, she remembered having to make a choice to save her sister. "I remember choosing to quit."

" _Choosing to quit_?"

"I lost track of how many things I killed. I was beginning to think killing was all I was good for. I just couldn't do it anymore." _Death is your gift_.

Buffy sighed and pulled a hand through her hair. "I mean, why does this have to be our job? Why do **_we_** have to save these people?" She swallowed some air and ignored Dean's surprised look. "You heard your friend. There's another Slayer, there's other hunters. Why do **_we_** have to sacrifice everything? Don't we deserve a chance to be happy?" Her eyes were brimming with tears when she finished. "I wanted a normal life, Dean."

Dean wanted to pull her to his chest and hold her close, but he didn't have an answer. Her question wrestled with everything his father had ever taught him. The echo of his conversation with Sam stopped Dean from speaking.

How could Buffy desert her family and friends? She had said she loved him, but he wasn't going to be the reason for her leaving her family and her life behind.

Buffy misunderstood his silence to mean that, despite what he said, Dean was angry with her. "You're mad, aren't you?" Buffy asked, shifting away from him.

"No," He said quietly. After several minutes Dean spoke up, "I just don't get it. What do you mean you 'chose to quit'? Most people in our line of work just don't quit. We..."

"Why can't we quit?" Buffy asked quietly. "We either quit or we die doing the job."

After a while, the awkward silence had become too much to bear, and she mumbled, "I think I'm from California."

Dean did a double take, astounded she had been keeping that from him as well.

"In my dream, my mom and I were walking along a beach," Buffy explained.

He sighed in annoyance. "Maybe that was only a dream."

"You don't have to take me anywhere, Dean. You've done more than enough. I can even get out here if you want."

Hurt that she'd make such a suggestion, Dean barked at her. "Don't be stupid, Buffy. I'm not going to abandon you in the middle of nowhere." He raked his fingers through his hair. "Do you remember anything else? Your last name, your sister's name, anything?"

Buffy shook her head, his tone made her voice quiet. "I don't remember my last name, but I'm pretty sure my sister's name is Dawn."

"Okay," Dean said after a minute of thinking. "Well, let's stick with the plan. Once we're in KC we'll make some calls, see if we can find this Giles guy."

Dean worried that she might hate him for forcing her to go back to Sunnydale, but he knew she'd regret abandoning her family.

* * *

In the morning, Dean placed several calls and learned a Rupert Giles had lived in Sunnydale and had once been the high school librarian. However, the high school was no longer there and Mr. Giles' phone had been disconnected.

"Well, you were right. California is looking like your home. Do you remember anything else? Anything about your sister, your family?"

Buffy shook her head. "Are you really going to take me all the way to Sunnydale?"

"Of course." Dean looked at her like she was crazy for even asking. "It's a frickin' hell-mouth, Buffy. I'm not leaving you to face that on your own." Wanting to make her smile again, Dean teased, "And you probably have some hot friends that will want to thank me for bringing you home."

Buffy huffed in surprise. "You're going to try to get with my friends?"

"Yeah and you, too. I'm picturing a huge 'Let's thank Dean for bringing Buffy home' party. And if your friends insist on thanking me with sexual favors, who am I to refuse?"

Buffy's mouth fell open. "You—" Dean flashed her a megawatt grin. "You're impossible."

Dean laughed and spanked her playfully. "Come on, woman! We've got a long ass drive ahead of us."

****

***#*#*#***

As Dean packed the car, his mind was consumed with the thought that Sunnydale was a three day trip. Three more days with Buffy. If he played his cards right, he could stretch it to four maybe even five.

Of course there still was her whole 'choosing to quit' thing to deal with. Dean didn't know what to make of that. Did she think that by taking her home, he was forcing her to be a Slayer again? Didn't she understand that he wanted her to see her family? That she needed to know they were okay as much as they needed to know she was still alive?

* * *

After weeks of intensive detective work, John Winchester was no closer to finding his son than the day Dean 'disappeared' from the motel in Alabama. To say he was terrified would be like saying the sky was blue. He knew he only had a slim window of opportunity to save Dean and there was nothing on earth that was going to stop him.

The psychic, Missouri Mosley, became his only hope. If she was unwilling to help him, John would beg and plead until she changed her mind.

John knew he didn't have many friends. The ones he had, he often mistreated leaving them very hesitant to see him again. As he stood on the walk before this woman's house, John wondered if she would still be willing to help him or if she was another burned bridge.

Missouri opened her door. "John Winchester, you gonna stand out there all day? You're frightening the neighborhood children with all your scowling."

John nearly smiled at the woman. "Hey Missouri, I wasn't sure if you would see me."

The woman gave him a warm smile. "Come inside and tell me what's bothering you."

Missouri led John into her living room, then left to fix them some tea.

"Missouri, I need your help. It's my -"

"Drink your tea, John, then we'll talk."

"But -" Missouri silenced him with a stern look.

When he had finished, she took his cup and read the leaves. "It's about time you came to me! Don't you think that boy of yours has been through enough?"

John had to take a minute to catch up to Missouri's train of thought. "Yeah, Missouri, that's why I'm here. He needs your help."

"I know he does," the woman nodded. "And I'll do what I can, John. I just don't know if it will be enough." She rose from her seat and did a quick survey of her room. "I'll be ready to leave in ten minutes. Tell me, do you know where he is?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean you don't know where he is?" she asked finding his answer of 'not exactly' not acceptable.

John got out a map. "He's somewhere between here and there," he said pointing at a location in Alabama and another in Utah.

The psychic gave him a disapproving look. "You may as well say he's in the U.S." She studied the map for a minute, and then turned to John. "You got something of his? Something I can hold on to?"

John nodded. "I'll be right back."

* * *

Four days later, Buffy and Dean were in beautiful northern California. Dean had found them a truck stop/ diner/ motel complex in which to stay and hoped Buffy didn't mind the extra day.

Buffy wasn't eager to get home; her memories were beginning to return the closer they got to Sunnydale, but none of them made her want to return. Dean had spent the last few days spoiling her in every possible way, making it nearly impossible for her to want to go home.

****

***#*#*#***

In the morning, Buffy looked at her food and fought the rising nausea. She took a sip of her juice and wiped at her forehead. Dean looked across the table and instantly became worried when he saw Buffy's appearance. "Babe? You okay?"

Buffy looked at him but was unable to focus. "No." She took another drink of juice and the urge to vomit returned. "Oh god, Dean. I think I'm gonna be sick." She rushed from the booth.

Leaving the bathroom, Buffy found Dean waiting for her. "Feeling better?"

"A little," Buffy answered with a shrug.

Dean wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "You want to go back to the room?" Buffy nodded. "Okay, I'll go pay. You wait here."

Buffy looked passed Dean to the little convenience store attached to the restaurant. "Actually, I'm gonna go buy some Pepto, and maybe some crackers, and then I'll meet you at the room."

****

***#*#*#***

Before entering the store, a large map caught Buffy's eye. She took a minute to study it and find their current location. Then, she traced their path with her finger. Not exactly the most direct route, she thought to herself. I wonder why Dean is going so far out of the way to get to Sunnydale.

Buffy purposefully made her way through the small shop. Unable to find crackers, she chose a bag of chips, and then headed for the aisle with the medicine. After grabbing the Pepto, something else caught her eye and she froze. Before she could talk herself out of it, she added it to her purchases.

Back in the room, Buffy camped out in the bathroom. After downing the Pepto, she read the directions on the box again. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked pale and sweaty, her eyes had dark circles under them – she looked as bad as she felt. Her misery was interrupted by a soft tap on the door. "Buffy, are you alright?"

Taking a fortifying breath, she answered, "Yeah, I'll be right out."

She wet a cloth with cold water, held it to her face, and reminded herself to breathe. Then, she read the results of the pregnancy test. There, clear as day, a plus sign. She smiled weakly at her reflection and wondered how she was going to tell Dean.

****

***#*#*#***

Dean nearly jumped off the bed when Buffy exited the bathroom. Without hiding his concern, he led her to the bed. "Are you feeling better?" Without letting her answer, he continued, "Do you need to see a doctor?" Once he had her sitting on the bed he asked, "Can I get you anything?"

"I just need to sit for a minute."

Dean put his arm around her. "It's probably all that crappy diner food catching up with you." He gently rubbed her back until she rested her head on his shoulder. "You want me to call the front desk so we can keep the room longer? Do you think you'll be sick for a while?"

Buffy pulled away from him, smiling weakly. "Dean, I'm gonna be fine." She saw that he was not remotely reassured, so, she decided to change the subject. "But there is something I was wondering about. Why are we taking the scenic route to Sunnydale?"

Dean's eyes betrayed his panic for a moment, before he schooled his features to their standard carefree facade. "When's the next time you're going to get to see this part of the country?"

Buffy had been with him long enough to recognize his bullshit face and with a quirk of her brow, she challenged him.

Dean shook his head and gave her a small smile. He had only recently admitted to himself how badly he wanted her, seemed impossible to admit it to her, especially because he knew he couldn't have her. He left his seat on the bed and leaned against the dresser with his arms across his chest. "So you want a more direct route?"

"No, I want to know what's going on. Why are you acting like when we get to Sunnydale, it's over, we're over?"

"Sorry, I didn't think I was acting like anything." As his insides twisted, Dean tried to hide the pain he felt. _Because I'm not getting my hopes up, because I know better, because you'll never choose me over your family._ He looked away so she wouldn't be able to read him. The wall he always hid behind was so close to collapse it frightened him and now was not the time to let it crumble.

Taking a breath, he added, "Got your stuff together? We'll have to back track a bit, but I can get us to the expressway and we can hit Sunnydale by nightfall."

"Is that what you want?" she countered, hoping he didn't hear the tremor in her voice.

"I just want you to be happy, Buffy. What I want doesn't matter."

"Do you honestly think I'll be happy if you leave me in Sunnydale and we never see each other again?" she asked.

Dean swallowed over the lump in his throat. His mouth moved but he couldn't speak, he could only stare at her in shock. After Buffy grabbed a bag, he finally spoke. "I'm trying to be realistic here, Buffy. You'll be back with your family, your friends, your life. You won't need me. I don't belong there."

Buffy shook her head and sighed resignedly. Why was he doing this? Her frustration rolled off her into her words. "Then let's just rip off the Band-Aid, Dean. You don't have to take me any farther. I'll catch a bus or something."

He knew he was losing her. She'd either leave right now or she'd be out of his life tomorrow.

"You asked what I wanted," he continued softly, then huffed a nervous laugh. "What I want is for you to choose me, Buffy, to choose staying with me. If you want 'the white picket fence, two kids, and a dog' kind of normal life, then I want you to want that with me." He stared at her a minute, shocked he had admitted that to her. "But I'm not a fool, Buffy, I know that's not going to happen. You've got a life you've got to get back to."

Buffy's lip trembled and Dean knew he made a mess of things. He should have stayed quiet. No matter what she said, Buffy was out of his life. Then, taking a tight, pained breath, he pulled his keys from his pocket and started the reconstruction of that wall around his heart.

"I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think about how you'd feel about taking the long way. We'll take the other route," he said quietly, once she didn't reply. "I'll wait for you in the car, if you still want me to drive you."

"How can you make me so happy and break my heart at the same time?" Her voice cracked and she sniffed back tears. "Dean, I love you. I want you. I choose you. I don't need to go back to Sunnydale; not if it means losing you."

Dean was sure she couldn't mean what she was saying, but he was willing to play along for the moment. "Buffy, you have to go to Sunnydale. What about the girl you think is your sister?"

Buffy nodded slowly. "I'll meet with my sister. But you and me, you and me are going to stay together. I don't care what is waiting for me in Sunnydale."

"You sure?" He so desperately wanted to believe.

"Do you love me?" Buffy was equally as desperate, equally as ruined.

"Buffy, I've been in love with you for months." The words were out before he could stop them, and he instantly regretted it. Losing her was going to be that much more painful now.

Relief washed over Buffy and she expressed it by rushing to Dean's arms and kissing him as if the world would end if she didn't. The kiss started as needy and desperate, but as Dean responded it became the soothing balm they both needed.

****

***#*#*#***

Unfortunately, the roller coaster of emotions caused the return of Buffy's nausea. She covered her mouth and bee-lined to the bathroom.

When she recovered, she faced a very concerned Dean. "Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" He smoothed a hand across her forehead.

"I think I'm gonna be sick for a while. And yes, I am going to need a doctor." She crossed to the bed and sat down. She could see the worry in Dean's face. Taking a deep breath she said, "Dean, I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Dean repeated in surprise.

Buffy watched as his expression went from shocked to a small smile to a well practiced blank as he reined in his feelings. "Um, okay," he looked away from her eyes. "Well, whatever you decide you want to do, I'll, um, support your decision."

Buffy had seen that look of happiness that crossed his face. She smiled and curled up on the bed. "Good, because Dean junior and I want to rest before we keep driving."

Dean swallowed and took a moment to let the news wash over him. "Dean junior, huh? How do you know we're not having a Buffy junior?" he asked with a tender look on his face that made Buffy's heart warm.

Buffy rested a hand low on her stomach. "That's easy. Just like with his father, I've only known him a minute but I'm already in love with him. And just like his father, he's turning my life upside down."

Dean smiled softly at her. He finally felt like he understood everything. Like the whole world had decided to let him in on the secret it had been keeping. "God I love you."

"I know. We love you, too." Buffy closed her eyes. "We don't have to go to Sunnydale if you don't want to. I've got my family right here."

"What about your sister?"

"Fine, we'll go see my sister," Buffy sighed happily, "but then we're going to go see Sam, too."

Dean bent down and kissed her forehead. "Sleep. I'll go to the front desk and get us the room for another night."

"Come right back."

"I will."

****

***#*#*#***

Making his way to the office, Dean looked up at the darkening sky. A storm was coming; driving would have been a bitch. Then he found himself smiling thinking how did I get so lucky? Could she really love him? Could she really want to be with him?

When he returned to the room, Dean wanted to crawl into bed with Buffy, hold her and never let go. Instead, he had a small panic attack. A baby. They were going to have a baby. How the hell was he supposed to take care of a baby?

He ran a hand over his head and began to pace.

He didn't have a job or a place to live. It's not like Buffy and the baby could live out of the car with him, traveling from one dive motel to another. Sure, he had to do it as a kid, but Buffy deserved better than that. At least, his dad had them stay – shit – his dad. What was he going to tell his dad? The man was going to kill him. Getting a girl pregnant was one of the dumbest things a guy like Dean could do. He could practically hear his father's speech. And then Sam would ... Dean paused. Sam would be frickin' thrilled. Dean grinned as he pictured the smile on his kid brother's face.

As if thinking about Sam calmed his nerves, Dean realized the baby wasn't coming tomorrow. He would have time to get his life together, to find a place for him and Buffy and the baby. He could get a job, he'd probably hate it, but he could do it. He'd get a job and take care of his family. He looked at Buffy. His family. He was going to have a family and a home. He shook his head in disbelief at the very thought. Yeah, his dad would be angry with him until the man met Buffy. Buffy would charm the socks of his dad, Dean was certain of it.

Rain had begun to fall and it was lightly hitting their window. He crawled into bed, curled around Buffy and whispered, "Love you."

Buffy smiled and nestled into the warmth of his arms. She rolled over to face him and placed a small kiss on his lips. Then, she began to trail small kisses down his jaw to his neck then she kissed his chest. Her hand drifted down his chest and under the waistband of his boxers.

Taken by surprise, Dean sucked in a breath, making Buffy giggle against his chest as her hand wrapped around him. "Hey, you're already knocked up. What are you trying to do?" he teased.

Buffy's hand stopped and she gave Dean a stern look. "Okay. We will NOT be referring to me as 'knocked up'. Not ever." Her hand began to slowly stroke him.

Dean chuckled even though she was beginning to drive him wild. "Okay."

"'Glowing', 'with child', these are acceptable," she said between kisses to his chest. "'Pregnant' when we're being technical." She stroked him faster causing his breath to hitch.

"'Preggers'?" Dean asked, pretending her hand was having no effect on him.

"Nah, let's save that one for celebrities." She kept her hand moving, but she propped herself up on her other elbow.

Dean was looking at her with such adoration Buffy's heart began to race. As she leaned down to kiss him, Dean brought his hands up to frame her face. "Feeling better?"

"Much."

Dean carefully removed her hand from his boxer briefs and pulled her against him. They continued to kiss as they removed their remaining clothes. Dean rolled her onto her back and settled between her legs. He kissed her neck as her fingers combed through his hair. "I want to spend every rainy day like this," she murmured when he finally entered her.

Dean held still, relishing the heat surrounding him. "Me, too." The soft look in his eyes was all Buffy needed.

As if she could read his mind and know what he was feeling she whispered, "I love you."

His kiss was long and sweet, making her feel light headed and boneless. Her hands whispered their way along the smooth muscle of his back, causing him to shiver slightly and grin into their kiss. "I love you, too."

They made love all afternoon, barely aware of the storm raging outside.

* * *

It was dark when Buffy woke. Too dark, she realized. She tried to sit up, but bumped her head and found she could barely move. "Dean?" she called in a slight panic, but she got no response. She reached for him, but found a wall of cushioned satin surrounded her on all sides. She pounded on the wall above her. "Dean!" she screamed as loud as she could. "Help! Help me! Someone help me!"

* * *

When John returned, he carried a cloth wrapped item from the strong box on the back of his truck. He gingerly handed it to Missouri like it was an ancient, sacred artifact. "He made that with Mary."

Missouri unwrapped a plaster cast of a tiny hand print with "DEAN" inscribed just below it. Missouri's eyes teared up as she carefully ran her fingers over the treasured item. After a minute, she closed her eyes in concentration.

"Oh, John, that poor boy is being torn in two directions."

"But he's alive?"

"Yes, John, he's alive. But his spirit is ready to move on." She opened her eyes, prepared to give John her condolences when she was struck with a fresh vision. "No, John, I'm wrong." She moved to sit down. "His spirit isn't ready to move on. His spirit doesn't know what's happened. It's lost, it's wandering like it's looking for a home."

Again she closed her eyes in concentration. This time she began to trace a pattern on the map. "There," she said at last, pointing to the Texas panhandle. "His body is there. We will have to go to him and call his spirit back."


	7. Chapter 7

Buffy clawed at the material above her, tearing it until she came to some type of wood. She pounded some more and yelled, but there was no response. She scratched and pulled at the wood until dirt began to fall onto her. When hit with the realization of what was happening, of where she was, Buffy worked that much harder to pull herself free.

Finally free, she remained on her knees until she could breathe evenly. Looking around, her mouth fell open when her eyes fell on her tombstone. In a desperate panic, she pushed to her feet. "Dean!" She yelled, though her throat was too hoarse for any kind of volume. She looked at the neighboring tombstones before she called again, "Dean!"

She checked every grave marker and none held his name.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Lost and disoriented, Buffy wandered down a street until she saw a fire set by some demons. Then she began to run the other way.

That, too, proved futile, as she soon found herself in an alley surrounded by creatures she could only assume were demons. She began to defend herself, but part of her wanted to surrender, she wanted no part of this world.

 

Someone called, "Buffy?" and it was enough of a distraction for her to break away from the demons.

 

Buffy ran as best she could and hid behind a dumpster in the next alley, but the voices followed her.

"What's wrong with her?" Anya asked as they cautiously approached Buffy.

"Nothing!" Willow said sharply, "She - she's ... she's in shock."

"Her hands are bleeding. Her fingers," Tara said over her shoulder as she tried to approach Buffy.

"Oh, she's filthy," Anya complained.

"Oh no," Xander said quietly. "How could we ... so stupid!"

Willow looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about, Xan?"

"Our spell. Our resurrection spell worked like a magic charm." He crouched down to get closer to Buffy. "We brought you back to life, Buffy." He looked back at Willow. "Right where we left her."

Willow and Tara looked shocked as they realized what Xander meant. Willow whispered, "Oh god. She had to ... dig out of her own grave."

"Buffy?" Xander held out his hand to her. "It's okay, Buffy, you're home now."

_Home?_ Buffy was too confused to accept his proffered hand. How did she get here? Where was Dean? How did this happen?

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

A group of Hellions rounded the corner. "Look what we have here."

Buffy used all her pent up fear, confusion, and rage to battle the demons. When she finished, not a single Hellion was left alive.

"All right!" Xander shouted gleefully. "She's back! And she's the Slayer again."

Buffy stared at him, and then looked at her bloody hands. "No," she whispered. Her eyes danced over them before she took off running.

She didn't know where she was going until she found herself at the rickety tower Glory and her minions built. _This_ , Buffy thought, _I remember this_.

She climbed to the top, stood at the end of the platform, and looked down. It was just an open space, what was supposed to be here? She put her hand to her head as she tried to force herself to remember.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Blocks away, Dawn and Spike ran from a different set of Hellions. As they did, they came across the broken body of the Buffy-bot.

Spike carefully lifted the torso. "You think Willow's going to want this back so she can reassemble it?"

Dawn didn't respond to his question. In the distance, she could see the tower where Buffy died. Though that night was months ago, every time Dawn saw the tower, it was a raw, fresh wound in her memory.

Spike followed her eye line and cursed himself. "Come on, bit, help me grab a crate to stash her in."

"Spike," Dawn said with a quivering voice. "Someone's there." While her rational side didn't want to believe it, she knew it was Buffy.

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

With her eyes closed, Buffy swayed on the platform.

_Lightning flashed. Dawn was bleeding. A hole opened in midair._

Buffy's eyes sprung open and she grabbed at a rail as she remembered diving off the platform into the glowing portal.

She looked around. Nothing was glowing. Where was the way out?

Having made her way to the tower, Dawn carefully climbed the disintegrating structure. Once at the top, she took a cautious step to the figure standing at the far end. "Buffy?"

Buffy looked apprehensively at her and remained quiet.

Dawn gasped in amazement, "Buffy? Is it you? I mean really? How is this possible?" Dawn smiled tentatively, and took a step forward. "What are you do-?"

Suddenly, the tower creaked and shuddered under Dawn's feet. She grabbed the pole beside her for support, looking down fearfully.

Buffy turned back to the end of the platform. _Dean. Dean was on the other side of this, this hell_. If she jumped, if she jumped maybe she could be with him again.

As if she knew what Buffy was thinking, Dawn shrieked, "No!"

Buffy looked down at the ground below. _Where is the light?_

"Don't! Don't jump, Buffy, don't move! Just walk to me. Please!" Dawn pleaded.

Buffy turned away. The tower creaked and trembled. _Where is that light? Where is that bright light I jumped into? Why isn't it here?_

Terrified that Buffy was going to jump again, Dawn took a step closer to her. "I'm your sister, Dawn. We were up here together, and then ... you went away. And you don't wanna do that again. I don't know how you're back, but you are, and please, just stay still."

Buffy faced Dawn again, but the tower shook and Dawn had to fight for balance.

"Or-or move. But-but towards me," Dawn begged. "Because the tower was built by crazy people and I don't think it's holding up very well. Please Buffy, talk to me, say something."

"Is this hell?" Buffy asked quietly.

"What?"

"Is this hell? Am I in hell?"

"No! Buffy, no!" Dawn answered barely hiding her horror. "You're here ... with me. Whatever happened to you, whatever you've been through, it's ... it's over now."

Buffy turned away from her sister to the empty place in the sky at the end of the platform. "It was so clear on this spot. I remember how shiny and clear everything was. But now ... now..."

Buffy closed her eyes, she didn't turn around. She could see him. See his smile; see his eyes when he told her that he loved her. He was right there.

"Buffy, listen to me," Dawn said in a near panic. "You told me I had to be strong and I've tried. But it's been so hard without you. I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better, I will! If you're with me. Stay with me ... please. I need you to live. Live! For- "

"Dean," Buffy prayed in a whisper.

The tower shook again, hard. Dawn screamed and crouched down, as a piece of the tower fell off.

"Buffy, Help!" Dawn yelled.

Buffy whirled around. "Dawn?"

"Buffy!" Dawn called in a terror.

Buffy snapped to the present and saw that her sister needed her. "Dawn!" She ran across the platform and grabbed Dawn around her waist. Together, they jumped for a rope and the pulley dropped them slowly to the ground.

* * *

Spike arrived at the platform in time to see it collapse. "Dawn!" He raced to the rubble terrified at what he would find.

"Spike! Spike! Over here!" Dawn called out when she heard him call for her. "Spike help me."

But the vampire was frozen in place; eyes glued to Buffy.

"Spike, come on, help me!"

Dawn's demand snapped Spike out of his stupor. "Dawn, how? Is that really her?" he asked quietly as he approached them.

"Spike, you have to help me get her home."

The vampire looked at the disoriented Slayer and her sister. "Right, come along, girls," he said lightly, hoping to keep his concern hidden. "What did you do?" he whispered harshly to Dawn.

"Me? Nothing. I found her here. Please, Spike, help me get her home, help me take care of her."

After getting Buffy cleaned up and into clean clothes, Spike tended to her wounded hands.

"How long was I gone?" Buffy asked as she took in the changes to her house.

"Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today," Spike replied with a small smile. "'Cept today doesn't count, does it?"

Buffy didn't respond. Her heart was telling her this was a nightmare, but her mind knew the truth. She saw his soft smile, she saw her sister's hopeful glances, but neither was what she needed.

Spike looked at her hands again, then back at her face. "How long was it for you, where you were?"

"Longer."

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Willow, Tara, Anya and Xander burst through the front door.

A cacophony of voices was all that Buffy heard. "Is she here? – She's here! - You're here. - We didn't know where you were. - You ran away. - Buffy!"

"Are you okay?" Tara asked gently.

"You knew she was back?" Dawn demanded in anger. "How did you know?"

Choosing to treat her like a child, they ignored Dawn and began to question Buffy again.

Anya squinted at Buffy, "You're not a zombie, are you?"

"Anya!" Xander chided her.

Willow ignored them and asked, "Are you in pain?"

"What do you remember?" Xander asked.

Tara moved closer. "What do you know about what happened?"

Buffy looked pleadingly at Spike, she couldn't handle the barrage of questions.

Dawn recognized the look and her hackles rose. "Hey! Back off!" she shouted, making the Scoobies look at her in surprise. "You did this? What did you do?

"A spell. We, we did a spell," Willow stammered.

"We didn't think it worked, but ..." Xander said quietly.

"Is she going to be okay?" Spike asked before Dawn managed to.

"I'm okay," Buffy said dully, causing everyone to stare at her. "I'm gonna be fine. I remember. You brought me back." Her stomach rolled; her friends did this to her. Her friends tore her away from happiness and threw her into hell.

"What was it like?" Anya asked, allowing her curiosity to overrule the looks she got from the others.

Buffy closed her eyes. An image of Dean's loving eyes hovered in her mind. "I, I can't..."

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about this," Xander said softly. "Hey, do you want something? Anything? Pizza? I'll get you pizza."

"Yeah, something to eat-" Tara agreed, knowing that eating is a sign of life.

Willow shook her head. "She doesn't want pizza."

Tara turned to Willow. "I just meant- "

"Guys! Back off!" Dawn demanded.

The group silenced. "Dawn's right," Willow said after a moment. "We should just be quiet, and let Buffy tell us what she needs."

Buffy wanted to reassure them, but her heart had been torn out. "I, I think I ... just wanna go to sleep."

Tara nodded. "That's a good idea. You, you should sleep."

"Right. Long day. But, Buffy ... be happy," Willow smiled. "We got you out. We really did it."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Just really tired." She turned to her sister. "Is my room still..."

"Yeah. Yes. It's your room," Dawn said. Then she put her arm around Buffy to both hug her and support her. "Let me show you."

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Buffy crawled under her covers and gave her sister a reassuring smile. "Thanks for helping me, Dawn."

Dawn hugged her. "I'm so glad you're back, Buffy. I missed you so much."

"Missed you, too."

Once Dawn shut the door, Buffy wept herself to sleep.

She dreamed of riding in the Impala with the windows rolled down and the wind whipping her hair around. Dean had the music cranked up and was drumming along just to make her laugh.

Then, they were back in Texas, at the Bluebird, making love on Dean's bed. She was trembling as she came apart and Dean had such love in his eyes that Buffy thought her heart would burst.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She heard Dean say at the same time the birds singing outside her window roused her from her dream.

She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. _Death is your gift._

* * *

John and Missouri stood at Dean's bedside. His son didn't look much like himself. He was so thin and pale, John nearly didn't recognize him. "Call his spirit back, Missouri. I know it's not here. Without it, he can't go on."

"And he can't get better," she said quietly as she tenderly caressed Dean's cheek.

"I'm not sure he will get better," John quietly admitted. _How long had Dean been suffering alone in this hospital?_ John wondered. He would never forgive himself for letting this happen to his son.

Missouri scowled at the man. "I'll try to call his spirit back, John. But you must have faith in the boy. He has to have a reason to come back."

* * *

Willow, Tara and Dawn were in the kitchen having breakfast, when Buffy joined them. "Buffy!" Dawn called joyfully, "You're up!" She wrapped her sister in a tight hug, which Buffy slowly returned. "Do you want breakfast?"

"We have pancakes and coffee and fruit," Tara offered warmly.

Buffy nodded. "Just coffee."

"How are you feeling?" Willow asked carefully as she handed Buffy a mug of steaming coffee.

_Buffy threw the scalding liquid in the witch's face, grabbed her by her hair, and slammed her face into the counter. She then grabbed Tara and shoved her onto the burning stove._

"Fine," Buffy answered with a fake smile on her face. "Is Giles still around?"

"He went back to England, but we're going to call him later today and let him know you're back," Willow informed her with a friendly smile.

"Good, that's good. I should get back to my Slayer duties."

Tara and Dawn exchanged worried glances. "Don't you think you might be rushing things?" Tara asked nervously.

"Yeah, Buff, you just got here. No need to go risking your life," Dawn said, not caring if she sounded worried.

Buffy wore a blank expression wondering why they brought her back if it wasn't to be the Slayer again. "I think I need to get back into the swing of things. The sooner the better." She gently ran a hand over Dawn's hair. "What are you doing today?"

Dawn made a face. "School. Not that I want to, but -"

"Oh," Buffy sighed.

"We'll hang out when I get home. I promise."

"Dawn, we need to get going, or you're going to be late," Willow reminded her. "Buffy, I've got class, but everyone else will be at the Magic Shop if you want to hang."

Buffy forced a smile. "Sure, sounds good."

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Once everyone had left and Buffy was alone, she took a slow exploratory walk of her house. She found a framed picture of her mother and remembered their talk on the beach. __Enjoy this time with Dean__ _,_ her mother had said. _Dean, where was he?_

Buffy went to the phone and dialed his number. Instead of his voice, she heard tones and a computer voice telling her 'the number cannot be completed as dialed'. She slumped onto the overstuffed arm chair. She had no other way of contacting him. She had no idea where he might be or even if he really existed.

She rummaged through drawers in search of a map. Finally, finding an old highway map, she tried to remember where she had been with Dean. Some of the northern towns sounded familiar, but she wasn't able to pinpoint their most recent location on the map.

Buffy combed her fingers through her hair. Maybe this map was too old. Maybe she could find a newer map. Dean knew her home was in Sunnydale, maybe he was going to come for her?

* * *

That night Buffy patrolled like a vengeful predator begging for a challenge. She didn't have long to wait.

Restfield Cemetery came alive with vampires who had grown accustomed to free reign while the Slayer was gone. True, the Buffy-bot did a decent job of keeping most of Sunnydale's evil at bay, but plenty still roamed freely.

With an intensity she didn't know she had, Buffy destroyed every vampire she saw.

But, she enjoyed toying with them. She enjoyed pummeling them until they begged for the stake. As they turned to dust at her hand, Buffy found it all completely unfulfilling and unsatisfying. The destruction wasn't enough.

* * *

Buffy stood in a pastel colored room. The curtains rustled in the soft breeze. "Well, what do you think?" Dean asked from the doorway.

Buffy swallowed over the lump in her throat. "Dean, it's perfect," she answered in a whisper as she turned around to take in the rest of the nursery.

Dean came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm glad you like it. I want everything to be perfect for you and the baby." He brushed her hair aside and kissed her neck.

She responded by tilting her head and humming happily. "As long as I have you, my life is perfect."

Dean turned her in his arms. "Well, I'm not going anywhere," he murmured against her lips.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

After waking in tears, Buffy vowed not to dream of him again. If sleeping meant dreaming, Buffy wouldn't allow herself to sleep. A broken heart and killing, these were what made a Slayer.

* * *

That night, Buffy continued her desperate hunt until the sun rose, but found nothing that quenched her desire to kill, her need to destroy. Spike watched her with an anxious curiosity as she faced three vampires. She left herself open for attack more than once, but each time, she had only been luring the vampire closer. Her kills were so brutal it was chilling to watch, and confirmed to Spike that something had changed in the Slayer.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Buffy collapsed into her bed, utterly exhausted, but that didn't stop the dreams.

Buffy was wearing that sundress and standing on a hill in the park next to the river. The breeze was blowing her hair back and the sun was warm on her face. She watched Dean approach and her whole body reacted to him. She never wanted anyone or anything as badly as she wanted him.

"Hey," he said with a practiced nonchalance.

She smiled at him then looked out over the river. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it sure is." He hadn't seen the view because his eyes hadn't left her. Buffy shivered in the breeze. "You cold?" he asked as she rubbed her arms.

She turned to him, biting her lip playfully. "You offering to warm me up?" She stepped closer.

he took her hands and pulled her into an embrace. She always fit so perfectly in his arms. As he held her he asked, "Feel better?"

"Mmm, much," Buffy murmured against his neck.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

When Buffy woke later that day, she realized hunting until exhaustion wasn't stopping the dreams of Dean. Maybe she could take sleeping pills, if she took enough, perhaps she'd be too drugged to dream.

* * *

That night Buffy perused her weapons chest with a dissatisfied grimace. A gun would be nice, she thought. That nickel and ivory beauty Dean had let her use would have been perfect. She gathered a few weapons and tucked them into her coat.

Vampires proved to be so unsatisfying that Buffy barely wasted effort on them. Instead, she made her way to one of Sunnydale's demon bars. It wasn't crowded, but there was enough variety to pique her interest.

A M'Fashnik demon noticed her the moment she entered. "Slayer," he hissed in a threat.

"Smelly ugly thing," Buffy retorted.

A few other demons turned toward the unwelcome girl. A few ran, a few growled, the M'Fashnik sneered, "What are you doing here?"

Buffy sneered in return. "My job. Killing every last one of you." She drew a broad sword and charged the demon. They traded blows, but every time she was knocked down, Buffy swung at another demon on her way back to the brawl.

After decapitating the M'Fashnik demon, Buffy circled to confront all comers. During the melee that followed, Spike stepped up to assist Buffy. "What the hell are you doing, Slayer?"

"Slaying."

"Suicide is more likely," he barked as they ducked a blast of fire from a flame demon. When Buffy didn't argue, Spike thought there might be some truth to his accusation. But he wasn't allowed to dwell on that, several more demons joined in the battle against the Slayer.

Spike smashed several bottles of liquor on the floor and lit the mess on fire. He grabbed Buffy and dragged her out through a back door.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Once in the alley, Buffy took a couple swings at him, but Spike avoided them. "What was that about?" he demanded, but Buffy ignored him and walked away.

"Buffy! We just got you back. You can't go risking your life like that! Think what it would do to Dawn if she lost you again."

Full of venom, Buffy spun to face him, ready to separate his head from his body, until she saw his tender, worried, eyes. He cared. He cared about her and Dawn, and Buffy allowed some of her anger to seep from her bones.

Seeing that he had gotten through to her, Spike said, "Buffy, if you're in ... if you're in pain ... or if you need anything... or if I can do anything for you...

Buffy looked at the ground. "You can't."

"Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment," he said softly.

Too exhausted from keeping her secret, Buffy decided to trust Spike. "I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace."

"What do you mean, Buffy?" Spike asked in a voice that feared the truth.

Buffy sighed and fought her tears. "I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. Time ... didn't mean anything . but I was still me, you know? I was warm." She paused and looked at him. "I had a whole other life! I was in love and I was loved. And I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven."

Spike stared at her in dismay. His pain for her was drawn on his face.

"And now I'm not. I was torn out of there - by my friends."

Overwhelmed, Spike continued staring and listening, but he attempted to put an arm around her and was relieved when she let him.

"Everything here is hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... _this_ is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that - knowing what I've lost." Buffy allowed Spike's attempt at comforting her, but it did nothing for her.

Spike had no words. He hadn't expected this revelation and wished Giles had been the one who had forced her to open up.

Buffy pulled away from him. He meant well, but he was cold and hard and Buffy ached for someone who was solid and warm.

"They can never know," she said quietly before she walked away.

* * *

At home, Buffy went to the medicine cabinet to down a couple sleeping pills in hopes of drugging herself into dreamless rest. When the pills weren't where she left them, she went looking for them in her room. Instead, she found Dawn sleeping on her bed.

Buffy searched for the pills as silently as she could.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." Dawn sat up. "Are you looking for these?" She shook the pill bottle.

Buffy nodded guiltily. "Yeah, I haven't been sleeping well."

"I know. You yelled in your sleep last night. Are you having nightmares about hell?"

Buffy sat on the bed next to her sister, confused as to how to answer that question. If she was having nightmares, it was about this place, not about where she had been.

"Buffy? It's okay, you can talk to me about it."

Buffy looked away. She didn't think she was ready to talk about her absence, not yet anyway. She couldn't let Dawn carry that guilt. "I can't. I can't talk about that," she said over the lump in her throat.

Dawn worried. Raising the pill bottle she asked, "Is that what these are for? You're just trying to drug yourself to sleep." Buffy nodded. "I was worried it was something worse."

"No, Dawn, I'm only looking to sleep." She ran a reassuring hand over Dawn's head.

Dawn brightened. "You want to have a sister day tomorrow? We could hang out. Just you and me. And we could do our nails and hair and watch chick flicks and pig out on ice cream and -"

"I'd like that, Dawn," Buffy said, stopping the girl's rambling. "Wait, isn't tomorrow a school day?"

Dawn shrugged meekly. "Yeah?"

Buffy frowned at her. "Do you have a test or something?"

"No! I just wanted a sister day with you," Dawn whined.

Buffy let a smile slip into place. "Well, then, I guess you can skip school just this one time."

Dawn squealed happily and hugged Buffy tightly.

The minute the Summers girls found themselves home alone, they began their girlie day. Buffy thought she would have to really work to remember how to have a sister day, but she was wrong. Images of her relaxing with Dean flooded her mind, but a day of sisterly bonding had been promised and that is exactly what Buffy was going to give Dawn.

By early afternoon, they were sporting fresh manicures and pedicures and Buffy had let Dawn paint her with more makeup than she even knew they had.

"You pick out something for us to watch, I'll get more ice cream," Dawn said as she applied the finishing touch to Buffy's look. "Cookie dough or fudge swirl?"

"Both of course," Buffy answered grinning at the smile Dawn gave her. She admired Dawn's work in a hand mirror, then called out to her sister, "Ohmigod Dawn! I look like a showgirl on crack!"

A minute later Dawn returned with two heaping bowls of ice cream and found her sister staring mutely at the television looking like she was about to cry. "Buffy? Buffy, what is it? What's wrong?"

Dawn looked at the screen. Buffy was watching a movie from the eighties, but it looked like she had seen a ghost. Buffy's mouth formed the words the characters said:

  
__

_"Hear this now: I will always come for you," Westley said._

 

_"But how can you be sure?" asked Buttercup._

_"This is true love - you think this happens every day?" Westley replied. "I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?"_

_"Well... you were dead."_

_"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."_

Dawn began to worry as she watched Buffy cry. "Buffy?" Dawn set the ice cream on the table in order to sit next to her sister. "What's wrong? Why are you crying over _The Princess Bride_?"

Buffy came out of her daze to see the worry etched on her sister's face. "Dawn, I, I wasn't... I've got to..." she paused to get control. Then, she began again, "Dawn, you have to promise you won't tell anybody what I'm about to tell you."

Dawn nodded eagerly. "I promise."

"I wasn't in hell." Buffy ignored Dawn's confused expression and continued. "I don't know what happened exactly. I don't know if I was in heaven or another dimension, all I know is: I was happy. I had a whole new life."

Dawn felt a vice on her heart. She had missed Buffy so much, but it seemed her sister had been happier dead. "You didn't want to come back here?" Dawn asked quietly, letting her hurt seep into her words. "You hate it here, don't you? You wish Willow never did that spell!"

Buffy grabbed Dawn's hand. "No, Dawn. It's not like that. But for those months I was gone, I had a whole other life. I woke up in a hospital with no memory of who I was or anything about my past."

She told Dawn everything; from how Dean found her in the road to her learning she was pregnant.

"And I loved him, Dawn. I loved him more than Angel, more than Riley. I loved him so much." Buffy struggled over the sharp lump in her throat.

"He was bringing me home so we could tell you about the baby and about us, so you wouldn't worry about me, and so that I could see that you were okay. Then, we were going up to Stanford to tell his brother and," Buffy's voice faltered. "I was done, Dawn. No more slaying, no more fighting. I was at peace."

"And instead, Willow raised you from the dead and you had to dig yourself out of your grave," Dawn said quietly. "No wonder you thought you were in hell."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, holding back her tears. "I know I'm supposed to be happy, supposed to be grateful, that Willow did that spell, but all I think about is how much I lost. How I'll never see Dean again."

Dawn hugged her and Buffy let the tears fall. Dawn rubbed soothing circles on Buffy's back. She didn't know how, but she was going to help her sister and set everything right.

After a few minutes, Buffy pulled back and wiped her eyes. Catching a glimpse of her reflection she whined, "Oh, look what I did to your awesome make up job!" She took tissues and began to dab at her eyes. "I'm sorry Dawn. I'm such a mess."

Dawn's mind began working better than it ever had for school. She clicked off the television and pushed the bowl of melting ice cream into Buffy's hand.

"Buffy, could you still be pregnant?"

Buffy's hand rested low on her abdomen and she shook her head. "No. I don't think so." Truthfully, she was too afraid to take a test and have it confirm her fears. Seeing a negative result would only further break her heart. Buffy thought of Dean's small smile when she told him; he'd be so disappointed not to be a dad.

Dawn saw Buffy's sadness. "I'm sorry, Buffy, I bet you'd have been a great mom."

Buffy wanted to give her sister a thankful smile, but all she could think of was the first Slayer saying __Death is your gift__. Slayers don't create life, they destroy it. "Thanks Dawn, but I'm a Slayer. I think that means I can't be a mom."

Dawn abandoned her own bowl of ice cream in favor of a notebook and a pencil. "Alright. Let's get all the facts straight. Tell me everything you remember about where you were and who you met. Maybe we can figure out a way to find Dean."

"Find Dean?" Buffy nearly choked on her ice cream. "How are we going to do that?"

"Well, you named actual, real places, we'll do research and see if any of the people you met were real, too."

"Since when do you do research?" Buffy could hear the echo of Dean's voice saying that Sam liked research.

"Since it's all anyone will let me do," she shrugged.

"Winchester. Dean's last name is Winchester."

"Perfect." Dawn smiled at her when she finished jotting down the name. "Buffy Winchester, I like it."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but grinned at the name. "We weren't married."

Dawn mock gasped. "You hussy! You let a boy get you pregnant and you weren't married?"

Buffy laughed and hid behind her hand in fake embarrassment. "I set a horrible example for you Dawn."

"Well, that make-up job does nothing to help your reputation. If Ms. Kroger from Social Services were to stop by right now, she'd have me packed and on the next flight to dad," Dawn teased, grateful Buffy was smiling and laughing again. She squeezed Buffy's hand. "Don't worry, Buffy, we'll figure this out. We'll trace your trip across country until we find him."

Buffy offered Dawn a grateful smile, but she didn't feel hopeful. She knew she wouldn't see Dean again, but she was thankful her sister loved her enough to try.

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Dawn did an internet search for tornadoes that hit Texas that spring. What she found made her shout with joy. "Buffy! Check this out! The week you died, Texas had a rash of bad storms. In fact, there were several tornadoes, right after you died."

Buffy appreciated Dawn's enthusiasm, but was confused. "So? I told you that Dean found me in a storm and that a tornado flattened the town."

Dawn nodded as she pulled up news footage. "I know. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't a dream. It didn't just happen wherever you were, it happened in this reality, too."

"Um, okay..." Buffy didn't understand Dawn's point, but then she saw the photographs on Dawn's screen. "Ohmigod! That's the Bluebird! That's where I stayed with Dean!" She pointed at the screen in awe.

"See. Real place in the real world." Dawn grinned at her sister. "Now, where else did you go?"

"Uh, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Dean's friend lived there. He owns one of those places with a bunch of junky cars."

Dawn raised a brow and typed 'Sioux Falls' in the search box. "Like a used car lot?"

"No, dead cars and parts of cars."

Dawn typed 'used car parts' into the search box and hoped it would give them something they could use.

"The guy, Dean's friend, he was like Giles. He had all these books and knew how to call the Watcher's Council."

Dawn stopped looking at her screen. "Dean had a 'Giles'? He knew about vampires and monsters and stuff?"

"Yeah. I told you he was a hunter."

"I thought you meant Bambi, not things with fangs."

Buffy nodded. "He hunted deer, too, but yeah, he knew a ton about of monsters and he carried a bunch of weapons in the trunk of his car."

"Wow. That's, wow," Dawn babbled as she wrapped her mind around Buffy's other life experience. "You dated boy you."

"No!" Buffy made a face at the idea. "Dean was nothing like a Slayer. Yeah, he knew about this stuff, but he didn't have any Slayery gifts. Just normal human guy, like Riley, minus the mind controlling military garbage."

"O – kay." Dawn turned back to her screen of search results.

"Do you really think you can find him?" Buffy asked, too anxious to be hopeful.

Before Dawn could offer reassurance, the front door opened filling the room with the voices of their friends. Everyone stopped talking when they took in Buffy's appearance.

"Uh, did being dead make you forget how to wear make-up?" Anya asked.

She was instantly shushed by the others, but Buffy and Dawn began to laugh. "No, we were just goofing around," Buffy answered. She looked in the mirror at her made-up, tear streaked face. "I really should clean up before I go out slaying tonight." She shot her sister a look and Dawn nodded and shut the laptop.

"Don't worry, Buf, I got this." She pointed to the mess they had made. "You go get your slay on."

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

If Willow or Tara noticed Dawn and Buffy being secretive, they didn't say anything about it. Xander and Anya were too wrapped up in their wedding planning drama to notice anything.

* * *

As he had been for the past few nights, Spike followed Buffy as she patrolled. After she easily dusted a vampire near the elementary school, she called out, "Spike, why don't you just join me instead of following me? You're messing with my bad guy radar."

Spike rather sheepishly appeared from behind a playground set. "Sorry, didn't mean to upset your 'radar'."

"Why are you following me, Spike?" Buffy asked as she took a seat on the playground swings and began to propel herself.

Spike stood behind her and gave her a push. "Jus' keeping an eye on you. Making sure you're not taking on an entire demon bar by yourself." He pushed her again.

Buffy remained quiet and let him push her higher and higher.

"You don't seem quite as reckless as you did last night." Deep inside, Spike hoped it was because of something he said.

Buffy took one last high swing, then playfully somersaulted off the swing. She smiled at Spike. "I told Dawn about where I was, or where I think I was."

"You did?" Spike looked shocked; telling Dawn was the opposite of what Buffy had wanted the night before.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to, but I think it was the right thing to do. I feel a whole lot better and Dawn is going to help me." Then she did something that startled the vampire more than anything else she ever did; she kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Spike."

Had he been alive, Spike would have blushed, as it was, his hand flew to his cheek, and then he ducked his head. "What was that for?"

"For watching out for Dawn. For having my back, even when I was going a little 'dark-side'."

"No problem, Slayer," he sneered, but the remark held none of his usual snark.

Buffy didn't feel truly home, until Giles returned to Sunnydale. Having her watcher back at her side made her confident. She hugged him until he begged for mercy. "It's so good to have you home," Buffy said as she released him. "You are home, right? You're not actually living in England, are you?"

"When I heard Willow brought you back, I had to see you for myself," he smiled softly at her. "I'm here for as long as you need me."

Buffy sighed, "Good. I need you."

Giles studied her a moment and didn't hide his concern when he asked, "How are you? Really? You look tired."

Buffy's eyes cut to her sister, but Dawn gave her the 'don't look at me, I didn't say anything' look. "I'm fine. Well, sleeping's hard, just because of the whole waking up in a box thing. So, maybe waking up's the problem. You know, but just for a second. I sleep okay. Great even. Except, you know, for the dreams."

Giles nodded, "Buffy, perhaps you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I mean, to return from some unknown level of Hell, it's only natural that coming back will be a process. Life can be pretty overwhelming even for people who haven't been where you have."

 

Days and weeks slipped by barely noticed. The hellmouth wasn't going to stop being evil just because Buffy had other things she wanted to be doing. She slowly gave up hope of ever seeing Dean again. She no longer asked Dawn if she had found Sam. It seemed fruitless to dream of a future she was never going to have.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop her from dreaming of Dean. She'd dream they were on that motorcycle racing through the South Dakota summer. Sometimes she's dream of their future, of her and Dean holding their baby. The days that followed those dreams were especially difficult for Buffy.

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

It was the day after that type of dream, that the demon, Sweet, sang and danced his way into Sunnydale and forced Buffy to tell the others the truth about where she had been when they thought she was in hell.

Buffy didn't return to the magic shop as they usually did, instead, she went home. She dug out the notes and papers Dawn had collected about her time with Dean. The scrap yards in Sioux Falls were listed on the first page. Buffy scanned the list until she found Singer Salvage; deep down she knew that was where Dean's friend lived. The Bluebird, the scrap yard, the motel in Denver, all real places, but none of that meant Dean was real.

If Dean was real, where was he? Buffy wondered. Why wasn't he looking for her? She gathered the papers and tossed them into the fire place. She couldn't go on hoping for that life to return.

She was the Slayer. She was sentenced to life in Sunnydale.

* * *

Sam checked his voice-mail for the thousandth time. Two messages from John Winchester. Sam's stomach lurched. There was only one reason his father would be calling and Sam wasn't ready to hear it.

When that first message arrived in summer, Sam was foolish enough to think his father was calling to work things out. Hearing his brother was missing had terrified Sam and sent him on a guilt ridden spiral.

If John was calling again, Sam knew it had to be bad news.

* * *

Buffy struck a match and watched the flames consume the papers as the others finally made their way home.

"Buffy! What are you doing?" Dawn rushed to the fireplace but wasn't in time to save anything.

"Dawn, that stuff doesn't matter. I can't hold on to that time." She looked at Willow's regretful expression. "Will, I wasn't in hell. I don't know if it was heaven, but it was," she paused not knowing how to explain where she had been.

"It was close enough," Dawn finished for her. "Buffy had a happy life that you, your spell, tore her away from."

Willow looked at Buffy tearfully. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I didn't..."

"What was it like?" Anya asked, receiving angry looks as she did.

Buffy shrugged and stared into the fire. "I was happy and safe. I wasn't fighting vampires or any other big bads. It was like being here, except I didn't have to kill things every day."

Tara stepped forward and put her arm around Willow. "We didn't know. We thought you were being tortured."

"You stupid girl," Giles growled at Willow. "Do you have any idea what you have done? The forces you have toyed with?"

Buffy grabbed Giles' arm. "Giles."

Astonished at his outburst, Willow gasped, "I thought you'd be... impressed, or, or something.

"Oh, you've made a very deep impression. You were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature. Think what you've done to Buffy! If she had been in hell, think of what you would have unleashed when you opened that pathway and brought her back," Giles suggested, calming down from his initial fury.

"Giles, that's enough," Buffy sharply rebuked him. "Willow thought she was saving me."

Dawn shook her head. "She saved you from being happy."

Willow was crushed. Though she was grateful Buffy didn't hate her, the thought that she had harmed her friend instead of helping her, broke Willow's heart. "Buffy, I am so sorry."

Buffy nodded and turned back to the fire. She just wanted to be alone.

"I, I could do a spell to help you forget?" Willow suggested.

"No. Your magic has done enough," Giles reprimanded her.

Buffy was about to counter Giles and let Willow try when Dawn spoke up. "No. No magic, but your computer skills could help."

Every eye turned to Dawn. "Buffy wants to find someone she met on 'the other side'. You can help us find him."

Buffy was speechless, she could only look at her sister in awe.

"The other side?" Tara repeated.

"Doesn't that mean he's dead?" Anya asked.

Anya's question made Buffy turn away, but Dawn shook her head. "We won't know until we find him." She turned to Willow. "We need to find a guy named Sam Winchester. Buffy thinks he's a student at Stanford."

Willow wiped her face and rushed to the laptop. "Sam Winchester. Stanford. Okay, what else do you know?"

"That's all we have," Dawn answered.

"He's a freshman on full scholarship," Buffy said quietly.

Willow's fingers flew over the keys. "Come on, come on, it's so slow without magic."

A chorus of "No magic!" sounded from Tara, Xander and Dawn as they gathered behind her, anxiously waiting for an answer.

Giles put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Buffy shook her head no, but said, "I was safe, Giles, and happy. Happier than I've ever been. And he was bringing me back here to see Dawn so we could -" Buffy stopped speaking. She felt her sister's eyes on her and knew she couldn't tell them about the baby.

"Could what, Buffy?" Tara asked.

"Let Dawn know I was okay. So I could make sure she was okay." Buffy shook herself out of her mood. "Dean thought a demon may have made everyone think I was dead and this same demon made me forget who I was."

"Dean? I thought you said 'Sam'. Who's Dean?" Xander asked. "How does he know about demons?"

"Sam and Dean are brothers and they're hunters along with their dad," Buffy replied. "Have you ever heard of them, Giles? The Winchesters?"

"No, but hunters are a rather secretive group," he answered.

"Well, the guy was right," Anya butted in. "A demon could easily do what he described. Especially a demon of Glory's strength. It's not even that hard."

The group gave her a look, but the former demon shook it off. "Look, I know I said the guy might be dead, and he might be, but if you weren't really dead, and a demon made us think you were, then he might not be dead."

Buffy stared blankly at her.

"Thanks, honey, that's kinda the idea we're working with," Xander said from his spot next to Willow.

"Sam Winchester! I found him! Stern Hall." Willow spun in her chair to look at her best friend. "Well? Road trip this weekend?"

Buffy felt a brief twinge of panic, but forced a slight smile. "Yeah, definitely." She looked at her sister. "You're coming with me, right?"

Dawn smiled. "Duh."

Xander was relieved to see Buffy smiling. "We all will Buffy."

Buffy went to sleep feeling hopeful for the first time since waking up in Sunnydale.

* * *

The dining hall was mobbed with students and Buffy wondered how she was expected to find Sam Winchester in the throng. After all, she had only seen two photos of him and one was when he was twelve years old.

The only one more fidgety than Buffy was Willow. She was itching to do magic, but Tara's gentle hand in hers stopped her.

Just when she was ready to give up Buffy remembered Dean saying, " _Get your head out of a book_." She looked around for anyone who was reading instead of talking to other students. In one corner, a guy with shaggy brown hair was bent over a book as he ate off a heaping tray of food.

"I think I found him," Buffy said, nodding in his direction. "Let's let him finish eating, then I'll talk to him."

Xander looked from Sam back to Buffy. "Book guy? Wow. Gotta say, Buff, not your usual type."

Dawn looked Sam over. "I don't know. He's not that bad."

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

The Scoobies waited outside the dining hall for Sam to appear. When he did, he was walking with another student making Buffy hesitant about approaching him. Dawn, however, was not going to miss this chance, she stepped forward and yelled, "Sam?"

Sam and his friend turned around. So, Dawn called his name again, "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

Dawn gently shoved Buffy and Willow whispered, "Go on."

Buffy gave him a nervous smile. "Hi, Sam."

Sam's friend bumped his arm. "I'll see you later, Sam."

"Wait, Brady," Sam called after his friend, but Tyson Brady ignored Sam and kept walking.

Finally Sam turned to Buffy. "Uh, hi."

"Hi, um, you don't know me, but I was wondering if I could talk to you a minute?" Buffy asked nervously.

"Sure," Sam answered with a small grin, but he looked after his friend. "Did Brady put you up to this?"

"Brady? No, I don't know Brady. I was wondering if you could tell me how to find Dean."

Sam's smile faded. "Dean? I don't know a Dean."

"Oh," Buffy replied. "My mistake. Sorry." Buffy began to silently berate herself. She should never have approached him cold like that. Dean had told her how they had been raised to be suspicious of strangers.

Sam took a step to leave when, thinking her sister was giving up, Dawn cornered him with a small hand on his chest. "Look, are you Sam Winchester or not?"

Sam's only answer was an irritated huff before he pursed his lips and tried his best not to care that this tiny girl was giving him a serious stare down. It would have been easy to learn his name, but he didn't have to give up his brother. "My name is Sam Winchester, but I don't know what you're talking about."

Dawn hesitated for a moment, debated whether to call him on his lie. She took her hand off his chest. "Okay, sorry. Just if you are Sam and you had a brother named Dean -"

Sam's expression became stony. "I said, I don't know anybody named Dean."

Buffy gently grabbed Dawn's arm. "Dawn, leave him alone. This was a bad idea." She looked into Sam's eyes. "Sammy, Dean was real proud of you. He bragged about you all the time. Even when he said college was turning you into a girl, I knew he was proud of you." Sam's subtle change in expression told Buffy all she needed to know. "We won't bother you again."

Sam worked at looking annoyed and grumbled, "Good. Thanks."

Sam's friend, Tyson Brady, had waited for him outside Stern Hall. "Hey, Sam, what did the cute girl want?"

Sam glanced back at Buffy. "She wanted to know about Dean."

Brady's mouth fell open. "Are you serious? What did you say?"

Sam shrugged. "That I didn't know him." He looked to where Buffy stood with her friends. "I don't think she bought it."

Brady looked at Buffy and her friends. "I got this, Sam." He began to walk over to them.

"Ty, what are you going to do?" Sam asked grabbing his arm.

Brady took a breath. "I'm gonna make sure she doesn't bother you again, Sam." He saw Sam's worried expression. "Don't worry, I'll be nice. But come on, you don't need this after everything that's happened."

Sam nodded his appreciation. "Thanks, man."

"No problem. That's what friends are for."

****

****

**#*#*#*#**

 

 

Tara gently rubbed Buffy's shoulder. "Sorry, Buffy, I know how much you wanted this guy to be the Sam you were looking for."

Buffy nodded. "It was him."

"What? If that was him, why aren't you finding out where Dean is?" Xander demanded.

"Because I did this all wrong. I forgot everything Dean told me." Buffy ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "But that guy was definitely Sam Winchester."

Tyson Brady walked up as Buffy spoke and asked, "You the girl looking for Dean Winchester?"

"Yes," Buffy, Dawn, Tara and Willow said in unison.

Brady took a couple steps to make Buffy move away from her friends and follow him. "You've got to understand where Sam's coming from, he's not ready to talk about his brother."

Dawn's eye's widened. "Dean is Sam's brother, right?"

He smirked thinking this was going to be fun. "Yeah. Well, I mean, he was. Uh, Dean was in a car accident last spring."

He kept talking, describing how Dean had apparently lost control of his car during a storm in the middle of nowhere Texas. "The car flipped a couple times and Dean was trapped inside. It was days before someone found him, but by then it was too late."

Buffy felt her heart shatter. The last thing she heard was Dawn calling her name.

As she crumbled, her friends rushed to her side. None of them noticed Tyson Brady's sneer or how his eyes flashed black. It had only take a few words for him to destroy the Slayer.

* * *

an: much of the dialogue comes from the Buffy episode: Bargaining part 2. I know many fans of Buffy found Dawn irritating. In this chapter, I tried to make her a little less annoying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the ending chosen by my betas... an alternative ending will post soon.

 

The moment consciousness hit him, Dean knew something was horribly wrong. His entire body was in pain. He kept his eyes closed and tried to listen for clues to tell him what was different. He could hear muffled voices and a quiet, constant beeping. He was hit with a wave of panic.

He knew he was no longer in the motel room with Buffy and he didn't know where she was or if she was okay. He didn't know if whoever had him had done something to her, but if they had, he would kill them.

Slowly, he blinked open his eyes to see his father's very relieved face. "Dean, " John said softly, "hey buddy, it's okay. You're going to be okay."

"Dad?" he croaked. "Where -"

"Don't try to talk, yet. You're in the hospital, but you're going to be okay."

**#*#*#*#**

John snapped shut his phone and tried to give Dean a hopeful look. "Sam must be in class. I'll try again later."

Dean snorted. Sam wasn't in class; Dad and Sam still weren't speaking. "I'll call him when we get to Bobby's."

John nodded and helped Dean into the wheelchair as the nurse entered his room. She handed John some paperwork and gave Dean a cheerful smile. "Take care of yourself, Dean. No more driving in tornadoes, you hear me? We brought you back twice. Don't go testin' whether the third time's a charm."

"Yes, ma'am." Driving. Dean remembered driving during a storm; he remembered the lightning. As he waited for his dad to drive the truck to the hospital entrance, he wondered pointlessly what had happened to his car.

* * *

On the drive to Bobby's, John hated how quiet Dean was. The boy who usually never shut up, now wouldn't talk at all.

Dean stared out the window. Had all that been a dream? The whole summer, meeting Buffy, taking her home, falling – Dean refused to accept that none of it had happened, that he had imagined all of it. The ache was real. The feeling of losing everything was real. How could Buffy not be real? She couldn't be just some girl he imagined.

Growing up, Dean's fantasy girls had always been helpless Playboy bunny types that needed him to rescue them. They had never been girls like Buffy. They had never been hunters. Why would his mind suddenly create someone like her? She had to be real. Those fantasy girls were never about love, but Dean knew he had been in love with Buffy.

**#*#*#*#**

Dean jerked away from his father's helping hand when they arrived at Singer Salvage. "Dad, I got it, I'm not a frickin' invalid," he groused as he hopped out of the truck.

"Fine," his father said as patiently as he could. He held out the crutches for Dean to take. "The doc said you're not to put your full weight on it."

Dean snatched the crutches with an angry huff, but hobbling up Bobby's steps took more effort than he realized. Even though it was late autumn, his short journey from the truck to the door made him sweat.

There was something off in Bobby's welcome, but Dean was too tired to worry about it. All he wanted to do was sleep; when he slept, he had amazing dreams.

After getting Dean settled into a room, Bobby said, "The car's coming along. She's got a date with a paint outfit next week. Then she'll be looking good as new."

"Thanks, Bobby," Dean replied quietly, though his expression showed his true gratitude.

Bobby shot a quick look over his shoulder at John. Then asked in a low voice, "Hey, do you happen to remember what happened to you?"

Dean's eyes fell. He remembered everything, but he knew that's not what Bobby meant. "I remember driving in a bad storm and waking up in the hospital."

"Right, well, I'll let you get some rest. Holler if you need anything."

Dean watched Bobby shut the door. Was it just his imagination or did Bobby seem disappointed by his answer? Dean knew he had been to Bobby's twice with Buffy, but there was no way Bobby knew that, was there?

* * *

Just as he had every night since he'd been 'back', Dean dreamed of Buffy.

The Texas heat didn't bother them. The music was loud, but it was a slow song. Dean pulled Buffy up against him and began to sway to the music.

Dean's hands held her tightly to him even as one slid further down her back. The way their bodies slotted together made Dean feel a different kind of heat.

He didn't want to be dancing anymore. He wanted to be in their room, in their bed, showing her how much he loved her. Buffy slowly dragged her nails down his back, loving how his muscles felt under her fingers and making him groan softly. "God, I want you," he whispered into her ear.

Buffy met his eyes but didn't have words. He kissed her softly, but it wasn't enough for Buffy, she dragged him into one of the Owl's Nest's backrooms and pressed him against the wall. She sucked on his lower lip and tugged at his shirt in order to touch bare skin.

Dean spun them so she was against the wall. Suddenly, her shorts were gone, his jeans were at his knees, and her legs were wrapping around him. In the next instant he was inside her, practically knocking the breath out of her as his every thrust slammed her into the wall. He slipped a hand under her shirt and cupped her breast and teased her nipple. Buffy had to stop kissing him in order to moan loudly. She panted his name as her body quivered around him.

Dean jolted awake in bed, cursing the empty room.

* * *

Even though the caller I.D. Read 'Bobby', Sam was nervous to answer. "Hey, Bobby, how's it going?" he asked with a tiny tremor in his voice.

"Hey, Sammy, it's going good now that you've finally answered your phone," Dean said with humor in his voice.

"Dean! Ohmigod! Is it really you?"

"Yeah, kid, it's me.-"

"And you're at Bobby's? How? What happened to you? Where were you?" Sam took a breath, but didn't allow Dean to answer. "Man, I thought you were dead."

Dean chuckled at Sam's obvious relief and excitement. "Yeah, I'm at Bobby's. Dad found me in a Texas hospital. I guess a tornado got the best of me or something. As to where I was? I don't know. Over the rainbow or in a coma. Take your pick."

"Dude," Sam sighed, "you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

"You, too, Sammy. But, enough about me. Tell me all about Stanford and the chicks you're scoring with. Lie if you have to. I don't mind."

* * *

"I don't know, Bobby, he just seems so miserable," John said, staring into his coffee cup.

"You didn't see 'em, John, I'd never seen him so happy," Bobby replied.

"I saw him. He wanted to help me with a case in Alabama."

" _ _Them__ , John, you didn't see __them__ , together. They were," Bobby paused, as he remembered how Buffy and Dean looked at each other. "I think he was in love with her."

"A Slayer." John shook his head. "And you're sure she's dead?"

"Well, as sure as anyone can be. I have her obit in the other room and I got the same story from that council over in England. The question is, do we tell him?"

John stared at his friend. "I don't know. I guess I'm hoping he won't remember." Then John asked what was really concerning him. "Bobby, Dean wasn't dead. So, where'd we pull him back from? How could they have even … crossed paths?"

"I don't know. That kind of thinking is way above my pay grade."

* * *

Dean knew he had been here with Buffy just a few weeks earlier. He could remember it clear as day. He just needed proof; something that told him he didn't imagine the whole thing.

He carefully picked through Bobby's things, careful not to disturb anything that would give his search away. He found nothing on the desk that mentioned him or Buffy. On bookshelf number three he found what he was looking for: ****VAMPYR****. That was the book Bobby showed Buffy that made her remember everything. Carefully, Dean took the book from the shelf in order to flip through it, but he didn't get far. The obituary for Buffy Summers was tucked in the end page.

He collapsed into Bobby's ratty armchair and read it. He read it a hundred times, until tears blurred his vision, but he didn't believe a word. Buffy wasn't dead. She wasn't. She couldn't be.

How could he have memories of being with her, of seeing this book, if she were dead? How could he have met her if he was in a coma?

He didn't hear his dad come in the room. He only realized John was there when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Dean," John murmured. "But I couldn't let you die, son." He moved a few steps away, but kept his eyes on Dean. "You were lying in that hospital bed, broken and slipping further away every minute."

"I know Dad," Dean said over the lump in his throat. He wiped his eyes and looked up at John. "The thing is, how does Bobby have this if she and I weren't here this summer? How does he even know who she is?"

"You were here," Bobby said from the doorway. "You were like a spirit. You would just appear and then she would be there, too. When I found out she was a Slayer, we were scared silly."

"Scared? Why?"

John and Bobby looked at each other before answering. "A Slayer is very powerful and even though she fights on our side, she's made from demonic energy. We didn't know why she'd be after you."

Dean shook his head. "Buffy wasn't 'after me'. I was helping her remember who she was and where she was from."

"We were worried that she'd harm you or take you with her," John said. "We knew she was dead."

Dean wasn't ready to believe that, yet. "Dad, you would have liked her, she was awesome."

* * *

After dinner that night, Dean announced, "When the car's done, I'm leaving for California."

Both Bobby and John were shocked. "You're what?" John asked.

Bobby asked, "Why?"

"Because that is where she and I were headed. Buffy had a sister. I've got to make sure she's all right."

John looked like he didn't approve of Dean's plan. "Dean, don't do this to yourself."

"Dad, she's just a kid. She's living on a hell-mouth. I gotta make sure she's okay."

John nodded slowly. "Then I'll go with you." Seeing Dean's eyes widen in surprise, John added, "Maybe I'll check on Sammy while you check on the girl." The look on Dean's face was the closest to a smile John had seen.

* * *

Dean crouched and carefully placed the flowers by Buffy's head stone. "Saved the world a lot," he read. "I bet you did, sweetheart," Dean sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry, Buffy, I'm so damn sorry. I wish I was with you. You gotta know I didn't want to leave, my dad pulled me back. I never would have left you. You've got to believe that."

"I should have told you how much... I should have told you that I loved you long before that last day. It's like some part of me knew I wasn't good enough. A guy like me doesn't get a girl like you, Buffy. Not for keeps anyway." His throat was tightening as he gave into his grief. "I miss you so much, Buffy. I'd do anything to..." he stopped himself.

"I hope you're not fighting anymore. I hope you're finally at peace. Don't worry about your sister. I'm going to make sure she's okay. I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to her." He wiped his face. "I hope, wherever you are, you're happy, you deserve to be happy."

**#*#*#*#**

Dean followed Dawn for two days before he felt confident that she was safe. The girl never seemed to be alone. She'd get rides to and from school and at school she had a small group of friends.

Dean tapped the steering wheel nervously after parking. He read a scrap of paper then checked the address. "The house number is still 1630, just like it was five minutes ago," he complained to himself. "C'mon Winchester, grow a pair. Go knock on the door and talk to the sister. Worry about how to explain who you are later."

Dean climbed from the car before he chickened out again. Walking up to the door, Dean felt a tightness in his chest.

Coming to Sunnydale meant putting Buffy to rest, knocking on the door would be the final step. It would confirm she was dead and he would be able to go on with his life. He raised his hand to knock, but the sounds from within stopped him. He peeked in the window and saw several people laughing and smiling. A red headed woman raised a glass in a toast and the rest cheered and drank.

Dean nodded to himself. If Buffy's sister was in there, she was doing fine. She certainly didn't need some stranger dredging up memories of her dead sister and ruining the good time they were having.

* * *

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Early fall 2006 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean was tired; tired of hunting, tired of carrying his father's secret, tired of not having a life of his own. The words of that damned crossroads demon echoed in his mind every night as he tried to sleep. __"Because your misery's the whole point. It's too much fun to watch. Knowing how your daddy died for you, how he sold his soul. You wake up and your first thought is, "I can't do this anymore." You're all lit up with pain. You blew it, Dean! I could have given you what you need. I could have brought them both back. You'd have your daddy and your girl."__ His 'girl'? That demon didn't know what she was talking about.

****#*#*#*#** **

Sam and Dean were walking out of a coffee shop in Dubuque, Iowa when Dean stopped dead in his tracks, forcing Sam to stumble just to avoid spilling his coffee down Dean's back. "Dude!" Sam barked as the hot coffee sloshed on his hand.

Dean took a step, mumbled "Sorry," but didn't stop staring at the blonde across the street.

Sam followed his brother's eye line to the blonde and shook his head. Was his brother ever going to grow out of 'girl watching'? He walked to a table and pulled his laptop from his bag. After a minute, he noticed Dean hadn't joined him. He found his brother at the corner, still watching the woman. When she walked into a shop, Dean turned and finally joined him.

"You know her or something?" Sam asked.

"No. How would I know some chick in Iowa?" Dean answered brusquely.

But his denial only made Sam more curious as to why his brother had been watching the woman. His interest was piqued even more when Dean returned to watching her the moment she left the shop.

"Dean, seriously, what's the deal with the girl?"

"What girl?"

Sam's reply was a raised brow.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Sammy." Dean shifted in his seat as he took a quick look for the blonde. "You find a case or what?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.

Sam said something about a park being haunted, but Dean wasn't listening. He was wondering when he was going to stop thinking every petite blonde was Buffy.

"..but today there's a carnival..."

"Sounds good, Sammy."

"Dean, you're not even listening."

Dean gave his brother an insulted look. "I am too listening. You said there's a carnival today."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that means we can't do the job, today."

"Right," Dean nodded then began to grin slyly, "because we're going to the carnival." He stood up, gathered their cups, and smirked, "Come on, Sammy, there's probably clowns and everything."

* * *

Dean finished his corn dog and thought that maybe Sam had been right. Searching the grounds during the day was probably useless. He had been about to tell him that when Sam nudged his arm. "Dude, you're just this side of 'stalker'."

"Huh?"

Sam tilted his head to get Dean to look in that direction. "Isn't that the blonde from earlier?"

Dean didn't answer. Buffy's doppelganger was fifty feet away and laughing at the antics of a little boy. He watched as she took the child's hand and walked in the other direction. Like a moth to the flame, he followed.

Sam shook his head and chuckled as he trailed his brother.

The boy began to point to a tent that held vendors selling a multitude of items and the blonde allowed him to lead the way. Dean stopped just outside the tent ropes and watched them. With a wide smile on his face, the boy pulled her towards a booth of fire trucks. Dean wanted to watch them all day. He wanted a chance to see her face to face, to prove to himself that she wasn't Buffy, even though he knew she couldn't be.

Suddenly his view was blocked by his brother. "All right, man, what's the deal with this girl? How do you know her?"

Dean shook his head. "It's nothing, Sam. She just looks like someone." __Shake it off, Winchester__ _._ "Uh, __Miss April -__ last year, don't you think?"

Sam's disbelief was written on his face, but he didn't press Dean for the truth. "So, do you want to stay or should we get out of here until tonight"

"Yeah, let's get out of here." Dean turned to walk away, but a throng of teenagers shoved passed them into the tent, forcing them to wait.

****#*#*#*#** **

When the horde had moved on and Dean and Sam could get on their way, Dean stole one last look at the girl. She looked panic-stricken as she turned about. Dean noticed the little boy was no longer at her side. He looked through the crowd of teenagers and saw the little boy was by the booth of fire trucks again. Grabbing Sam's arm he said, "Sam, get the girl. I'll get the kid."

It took Sam a minute to catch on, but then he was forcing his way through the crowd to the panicked mother.

Dean crouched next to the boy. "You like fire trucks?" The boy barely glanced at him as he continued to push an engine back and forth. "Yeah, me too. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a fireman." The boy gave him a slightly longer look, but moved to another truck. "I liked the hook and ladder truck, wanted to drive the back part. You don't see many of these anymore," Dean said and he raised the ladder on the toy truck.

"Danny!" The little boy turned to the sound of his name.

"Oh my god, Danny, you scared Mommy so much!" The woman knelt down and wrapped her arms around the boy.

Dean stood and nearly stumbled back. It hadn't been his imagination. Buffy was there, right in front of him. Buffy with a child and a ring on her finger. Dean wasn't ready for the flood of emotions he was feeling. _How could she be real, let alone alive? Did she know who he was?_ Most of all, he wanted to escape without being seen by her. That was something he wasn't ready for.

Buffy looked up at Sam. "Thank you, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found him."

Sam smiled warmly at them and said, "It wasn't me it was my.." he looked at Dean and saw his brother looking just like he did when John had discovered he had snuck out for a joy ride in the Impala.

It was then, that Buffy finally saw Dean. Her mouth fell open and she stared in shock. After a moment, she was able to say, "Dean? You're - h how are you even...?"

No matter how painful it was to see her, Dean couldn't quite rip his eyes away from the Buffy and the little boy. He barely managed to say, "Hey, Buffy." He finally looked towards his brother. "Well, Sam, we should go, leave these two alone." He hadn't made that deal at the crossroads, he hadn't made that wish with the djinn, but, he was sure this couldn't be right.

"What? Wait, Dean, please. You were dead," she said quietly, and then she looked at Sam, suddenly recognizing him. "Your friend said he was dead," she said in a whisper.

As the pieces began to come together in Sam's mind, he remembered Brady talking to her. He __knew__ Dean and the girl had a past, maybe they just needed some time together.

They were all distracted by the little boy tugging on Buffy's hand. "Mommy, I'm hungry."

Buffy looked at the little boy, "Okay, baby, just a minute, we'll leave in just a minute." She returned her attention to Dean. "Dean, I thought -"

"I have your obituary," Dean said quietly. "I put flowers on your," he stopped before saying 'grave' in front of the child. "How are you even –?" He shook his head to clear it. "Doesn't matter," he was suddenly wearing a mask of a smile. "It's good, right? Well, you're good, alive. So, uh, Sam and I are kinda working so we should leave now." His eyes pleaded with Sam to walk away, but his brother was watching the little boy.

"Mommy," the boy whined and leaned dramatically into Buffy's hip, "I'm starving!" He batted his eyelashes at her and put a hand on his throat like a person dying of thirst would do.

Sam couldn't hide his smile at the child's over the top dramatics. "We should get you something to eat, then." Sam looked at Buffy, first, then at Dean. "We should all get something to eat."

Sam ignored the looks of gratitude and annoyance that earned him and crouched down to talk to the boy. Sam took a good look at the little boy pulling on his mom's hand and was floored. Danny had bright green eyes and a smattering of freckles on his nose.

"Hi, Danny, I'm Sam and I'm practically starving, too. What should we get to eat?" The boy immediately became shy and turned his face against Buffy's leg. "How about French fries? Do you like French fries? I love French fries." Danny peeked at him and nodded. "Great, let's get some." Sam stood up. "I saw a truck selling them right outside this tent. Right by the playground." He smiled at Buffy, ignored Dean's death glare and led the way through the tent.

****#*#*#*#** **

Sam insisted that Dean stay with Buffy as he went to get food for all of them. Buffy led Danny to a play-set with instructions to "play nice" and "come back when Sam arrives with the food".

They stood there watching him climb up ladders and go down the slide and do it again. Finally, Buffy spoke about the only topic she thought was safe. "What brings you guys to Iowa? You working a case."

"Sam thought these grounds were haunted or something."

Buffy shook her head. "Swamp gas." Dean looked surprised. "I'm serious," Buffy continued. "You really think I wouldn't check out a job in my own neighborhood?"

After another awkward silence Dean said, "Sorry about Sam. He could tell I knew you and must have thought we needed to talk; he's never been good at being subtle. So, uh, you're still a, __you know__?"

Buffy blinked at him a couple times while her mind caught up with his words. She was still coming to terms with the fact that Dean was real and was standing next to her. "Yeah, I'm still a Slayer, but not at all like before, there's a bunch of us now, so it's not just me."

She turned to him. "How are you here? Were you dead? I was dead, I think I was dead, and Willow, my friend, did this spell and..."

Dean wasn't looking at her, he kept his eyes on the little boy. "I don't know. I was with you and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital with my dad telling me I was going to be okay."

They fell silent, just watched the children playing. Dean kept thinking about that ring on her finger, about how he hadn't realized he missed her as much as he did. He never thought seeing her again would hurt so much. He felt like he was being held under water.

"So, looks like you got everything you wanted. That whole 'normal life' thing, married, kids, or kid anyway. That's great, Buffy, I'm really happy for you." He turned around to look for what was delaying his brother. "We'll get out of your hair as soon as Sam gets back."

"Dean, don't go, please?" She grabbed his arm and before he could argue, she continued, "I get that we're not in that place anymore, and you have moved on or whatever, but, please, give me one minute with you."

Before Dean could answer, Danny went whipping by them on his way to a nearby picnic table, shouting, "Sam's back!" He clambered onto the bench and grabbed a bunch of fries.

"Daniel James! That is not how you behave!" Buffy chided as she approached the table.

The boy turned to her and smiled around a mouthful of fries. "Shorry Mommy."

Buffy took a seat next to him. "Did you thank Sam for sharing his fries with you?"

"Thank you, Sam!" the boy sang and grabbed more fries.

"It's no problem, buddy, I got enough for all of us."

****#*#*#*#** **

Dean took a seat by his brother, but didn't join in the lunch. He wondered how he could feel so happy and so miserable at the same time. Buffy was alive and had the 'normal' life she had always wanted. However, he could barely look at her or her son without it carving what was left of his heart. He remembered her telling him they were going to have a baby. He remembered how happy and scared that had made him. That was years ago, it didn't matter anymore. Dean knew that he should be happy for her and he was, he told himself. He was happy.

Sam watched Buffy steal glances at his brother. Her feelings for him were plain to see with every look in Dean's direction. Dean, however, seemed unable to make eye contact with anyone.

Sam's musings were interrupted when the little boy asked him, "How come you're so big?"

Before Buffy could say anything about Danny's manners, Sam pointed at the child with a fry. "Because my big brother always made me eat my vegetables."

Danny's eyes became huge. "You have a brother even bigger than you?"

Sam laughed. "No, I meant he's older, not bigger." From the corner of his eye, Sam saw Dean shake his head in amusement. "Dean's my brother."

Danny turned his wide eyes to Dean. "You are?"

"Yeah, I'm the one who made him eat his veggies so he'd grow up big and strong."

"You musta given him yours, too." Danny stuffed more fries into his mouth. "Tha's why he's bigger'n you."

Dean chuckled a little at the comment. "Yeah, probably."

****#*#*#*#** **

Then, Danny pushed himself up and whispered in Buffy's ear. She made a show of frowning deeply and looking at her hands, but she removed her ring and held it out to him.

Danny took it and offered it to Sam. "Here. This is for the fries." He waved it until Sam took it from him. "It's worth a like a b'gillion dollars cuz it's gold and has a sparkly diamond."

Sam smiled fondly. "Thank you, but I couldn't take this, Danny, it's too much."

"No, it's okay. I can win another one at the fish pond." The boy jumped from his seat. "Can I go play now?"

"Yes, sweetie, but stay where I can see you," Buffy said as she took a napkin to his face and hands.

Dean looked from the ring in his brother's giant paws to Buffy and back. Sam couldn't help his self-satisfied smirk as he watched the tumblers click into place in Dean's mind. When he saw Dean look at Danny and do some obvious math in his mind, Sam said, "I'm going to take this stuff to the trash," and left them alone at the table.

****#*#*#*#** **

When Sam had gone, Dean said, "I went to Sunnydale to check on your sister, like we had planned to do. I put flowers at your grave and went to your house, but I didn't have the guts to actually knock on the door." He took a breath. "Your sister was having a party or something and everyone seemed happy. I didn't want to bring everyone down by interrupting them and telling them about you."

Buffy gave him a small smile. "I went to Stanford to find Sam." Dean looked at her, stunned, Sam had never mentioned it. "A friend of his told me you died and I thought – I didn't think I could go on. When we got home, I asked my friend to do a spell to forget you and everything that happened," Buffy said, barely keeping her emotions in check. "But then I realized I was going to have a pretty big reminder of you in a few months."

Dean watched Sam grab Danny and make the boy giggle. "Danny's-?" Buffy nodded. "But he can't be. I was in a coma. I think. How is that even possible?" Dean asked.

Buffy gave him an incredulous look. "How is any of this possible?" she asked over a small laugh. "I was dead, you were in a coma, yet somehow I spent a summer with you, falling in love with you. We rode that motorcycle across the state and we made Danny," she said smiling at her son. "I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. Willow said she called back 'life', I guess Danny was 'life', too."

"Buffy, if I knew about you or about him, I would have -"

"I know," she said softly. She always knew that Dean would be there for her. They watched Sam chase Danny back to the slide. "Dean, this isn't a dream, right? I'm not going to wake up and find out you're not really sitting there, am I?"

Dean sighed. "I used to have dreams like that all the time. We'd be back in Texas or in Bobby's cabin…I hated those dreams."

Buffy nodded. "Me, too. It made everything so much harder when I woke up."

****#*#*#*#** **

Dean left the table, kissed Buffy on the top of her head, and walked over to the slide. Dean gently pushed Sam. "My turn," he said taking Sam's spot at the bottom of the slide.

"Dude, Danny's your son, isn't he?" Sam whispered though he was smiling.

"Looks like," Dean answered with a soft smile for Danny as the boy slid down the slide towards him.

"How is that possible?"

Dean smirked, "Well Sammy, when a guy really likes a girl, sometimes they -"

Sam shoved him. "Jerk, you know what I meant."

Dean laughed lightly, "Sam, I don't know. When it comes to what happened that summer, I'm not gonna question it."

Danny tugged on Dean's hand and bent back to look at him. "Dean, will you push me on the swings?"

Dean looked at the swings, took quick glance at Buffy, and then crouched down to Danny's height. "You can go one those," he pointed to the playground swings, "or if Mommy says it's okay, we can go on those," Dean said pointing towards the carnival rides.

When Buffy was suddenly hit with three sets of excited Winchester puppy eyes, how could she say 'no'.

****#*#*#*#** **

As the day went on, Sam was astounded by the subtle changes in his brother. Dean looked like a man without a care in the world. The more time they spent with Buffy and Danny, the more obvious it became that Buffy knew his brother very well.

They stood before the concessions, taking in all of their choices. Sam's stomach turned as he noticed that everything was deep fried.

"Well there is only one acceptable choice," Buffy said.

"Get all three," Dean replied.

Sam had no idea what they were referring to when Buffy grinned and took a step forward to place an order. Dean grabbed her arm and said, "Wait. Sam's not going to eat any of that."

"Right. And I should get Danny real food." She looked around. "Ooh – fruit wagon." She pulled some money out of her purse. "Sam, would you get Danny a fruit cup?"

"Sure, Buffy. What are you guys going to get?" Sam asked as he took Danny's hand.

"Deep fried Snickers on a stick," they said in unison, making Sam shake his head and laugh.

Dean smiled back at him before turning to Buffy, "And cheesecake? Or S'more?"

"Mmm, s'more. No, both. We'll split it."

Just as Sam was walking away, Dean called to him. "Hey, Sam, see if they have margaritas over there."

Buffy swatted Dean's arm. "Not funny."

Dean grinned. "What? I think I saw a karaoke place somewhere, too."

Buffy huffed and tried to look annoyed but she was smiling. "Seriously, not funny."

Dean started to chuckle. "What do you mean? We could have a couple margaritas and you could sing, and the tables looked sturdy enough if you wanted to dance."

Buffy swatted his arm again, but she was blushing furiously and laughing with him. "Just for that, I'm not sharing my s'more with you."

****#*#*#*#*#** **

When, the festival closed for the night, Buffy was happier than she'd been in years. Dean was carrying a sleeping little boy in one arm and holding her hand with his other one. Sam's arms were full of stuffed animals they had won from the carnival games.

* * *

Buffy spent the morning on a conference call with her sister and her best friend.

"So, you're saying he's back from the dead?" Dawn asked.

"Not so much. He wasn't dead. He was just in a coma or something. Well, technically, he did die, the doctors brought him back, though," Buffy explained.

"He must have been in a 'limbo' state like you," Willow said and then went on to ask, "and he remembered you?"

"Yeah, he remembered me."

Dawn thought she heard some worry in her sister's voice. "Are you going to let him see Danny?"

Buffy sighed, "Yeah, about that..." She went on to explain how Sam and Dean reunited them when she and Danny were separated at the fair.

"Are you going to see him again?" Willow asked.

"He's supposed to come by later today," she answered in a voice that belied her nerves.

Dawn knew something was bothering Buffy more than she was saying. "Buffy, what's wrong? Don't you want him to see Danny? You could tell him no or even leave before he gets there."

"No, he was great with Danny. It's just," Buffy paused as she felt her chest tighten. "I fell so hard for him last time. I'm over him or I was over him. I __am__ over him. I mean I can't... we hardly know each other. So this is nothing, right? But now, he's alive and I know he's alive... what am I going to tell Danny when Dean leaves tomorrow and -?"

"Breathe Buffy," Willow said with a slight laugh. "Is Dean as nice as you remember?"

"Yeah. He's exactly like I remember."

"Then don't worry. It'll be okay."

* * *

Dean spent the morning in his head. Yesterday and last night he had acted on emotion; now he had time to think. Not only had his time with Buffy been real, but they had a son.

Even though it was barely a tremor, the bouncing knee told Sam that Dean was anxious. The way he stared at a blank wall told Sam that he needed to be pulled out of his head. He was about to say something when Dean stood up.

"We should get out of here. The job's a bust. And we've got-"

"What? I thought you were going over to Buffy's place. Remember? You were going to spend the day with Danny and -"

"Yeah. No, I'm not doing that." Dean grabbed his duffel bag.

"Dean, you promised the kid you were -"

"Sammy don't do this. I can't."

Sam wasn't accepting that answer. "What do you mean you 'can't'?" he demanded.

"Sam, she got out. She's happy and they're safe. Why the hell should I drag them into...they're better off."

Sam felt like his brother had dumped ice water on him. "Dean, you can't be serious. You're only stopping by for one day, a couple of hours. Come on, you're the kid's dad."

"I don't know anything about being a dad. It would be a mistake to get close to them and put them in danger."

"They're not asking for a lifetime commitment, just an afternoon of hanging out with Buffy and your son." Sam took the bag from Dean's hand. "For what it's worth, you did a pretty good job raising me."

Dean almost smiled at that.

"Come on, Dean."

Dean took a deep breath. "The demon is still out there, man. We still have a job to do."

"Yeah, okay, but don't disappoint Danny. You promised you'd see him today."

Dean fell quiet. Disappoint them today, disappoint them tomorrow, did it matter? He'd end up disappointing them eventually.

Sam grinned figuring that he was winning the argument. But before he could gloat, Dean's phone rang. Sam grabbed it from the table before Dean could. "It's Buffy," he said smiling. "Hey, Buffy, it's Sam. We were just about to come over," he said ducking away from his brother's grab for the phone.

Sam listened as Buffy spoke, all the while twisting and dodging away from his brother.

"I'll be sure to tell him," Sam said as he finally stopped moving and handed the phone to Dean. "Danny's napping. Seems we wore him out pretty good yesterday so she asked if we could wait a few hours before stopping over."

Dean glared at his brother. That had been a perfect out and Sam ignored it.

* * *

Sam left Dean at Buffy's with the promise to return in a few hours. While Sam drove off, dialing Bobby Singer as he went, Dean, Buffy and Danny shared a moment of awkward silence.

The moment was broken when Danny shyly asked, "You wanna see my room."

"Absolutely," Dean smiled and followed the eager boy to his room.

"Cool bed," Dean remarked upon seeing the blue race car bed.

"Yeah. These are my cars. This is my Pokemon stuff. These are my books, these are my lego blocks, that's my dinosaur – he's a T-rex, and those are my movies," Danny said pointing to each in turn.

"What's this?" Dean asked pointing to a large crayon drawing that was taped to the wall.

"That's my family," Danny answered. He pointed to the two stick figures in the center. "That's me and Mommy." Next he pointed to a group of figures on the left side of the drawing. "That's Auntie Dawn, Grandpa Giles, Uncle Xander, and Auntie Willow." Finally he pointed to a black scribbled blob. "That's Daddy."

Dean stared at the black scribble. "Your dad's a black blob?"

"No," Danny giggled. "Daddy's in heaven. He lives in the clouds. Mommy said when it storms, I don't hafta be scared cuz that's him saying 'hi'." Dean stared at the cloud until Danny asked, "What do you want to do?"

Clearing his throat, he said, "I don't care, Danny, whatever you want is fine with me."

****#*#*#*#*#** **

An hour later there were lego towers and cars all over Danny's room. After allowing Dean to take a picture of their 'awesome' (Danny's new favorite word) creation, Danny and his dinosaur destroyed everything.

Buffy couldn't scold, because the sight of Dean and Danny wearing identical smiles made her heart clench. "Let's pick this up and then we can watch a movie."

After ruling out everything remotely educational, Dean suggested, " _ _Finding Nemo__?"

"No. The mommy fish dies," Danny explained quietly. "Then the daddy fish loses Nemo and -"

"Okay," Dean said quickly, as he returned the movie to the shelf, "no __Nemo__. Uh, __Lion King__?"

Danny shook he head and still looked sad, "No. His daddy dies."

"Okay," Dean said taking a breath. He shot Buffy a look. __Doesn't Disney make any movie without a parent dying?__

Buffy shrugged as an answer.

"Wanna watch __Toy Story__? There's a cowboy and a space man and aliens and a T-Rex!" Danny asked excitedly.

****#*#*#*#*#** **

As Danny and Dean got the movie ready, Buffy busied herself making popcorn and getting drinks. But, mostly, she worked at controlling her emotions. At the moment, she had everything she ever wanted, and that usually meant everything was going to fall apart. Or worse she'd wake up and the past two days would have been a dream.

It physically hurt her to see how well Danny and Dean got along. Dean was patient and playful and so much more than Buffy's expectations.

"Mommy! It's starting! Hurry up!" Danny's call from the other room, brought her to the present.

"Yeah, __Mommy__ , the movie's start- you okay?" Dean had gone to fetch her and see if she needed help when he found her on the verge of tears.

Buffy blinked her wet eyes and nodded. She saw Dean's expression change from happy to concerned to self-doubt, and she had to erase that. "I'm fine. I just never... Yeah," she swallowed and waved him off, "I'm fine."

Dean studied her for a minute, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Instead, he took her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"It's on!" Danny yelled from the other room.

Dean pulled away, grabbed the juice box and the glass of Coke and walked back to Danny.

Buffy slumped against the counter. __Yeah, keep telling yourself you're fine__ _._

When Buffy joined them on the couch, Danny moved from his spot next to Dean to Dean's lap. Dean tugged Buffy's arm so that she was snug against him. As he watched Buzz Lightyear and Woody, Dean thought, __I want this, for one friggin' day. I know I can't have this. But I'm taking this for one day.__

* * *

When Dean tucked Danny into bed, the boy asked, "Will you come play again tomorrow? I'll let you pick the movie."

Dean's heart stopped for a second. "I don't know, buddy. That's up to your mom."

"Don't you wanna come? Mommy likes you. I know she does. She never lets anyone come over and she let you come today."

Dean smiled; the kid sure knew how to get to him. "I want to be here every day, Danny, but that's not..." Dean couldn't say more as Danny was suddenly wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging tightly.

"You know how to use a phone, right?" Dean asked once Danny released him. "How about I give you my number and you can call me anytime?" Dean got up and took a crayon and carefully wrote his number for the boy. "There," he said, putting the paper on Danny's desk. "Now, even if I can't see you everyday, you can talk to me any time you want."

Danny pouted, talking wasn't the same as playing. "Okay."

"Okay, that's my man." Dean could tell Danny wasn't happy, and it killed him, but he couldn't make promises he couldn't keep.

"Good night, Dean," Danny whispered as he hugged him, again.

Dean returned the hug. "G'night, buddy."

**#*#*#*#**

"Sam should be here soon," Dean said, once he and Buffy were alone. "Thanks for today. It was great hanging out with you and Danny."

"I'm glad you were able to come over. I'm glad you had fun," Buffy replied. __God, why did this have to be so uncomfortable__ _?_ The last few years were like an ocean separating them. "You can come over whenever you want. You're welcome here – like whenever."

"Thanks." Dean smiled a little and nodded and wished Sam would hurry because being alone with Buffy was more than just a little awkward.

"Buffy, you've got a great life here. I don't want to do anything to screw it up." He huffed a breath. "Today was something I never thought I'd have, so thanks for letting me see you guys. But with everything, I would understand if you'd rather I stayed away." He gave her a small understanding smile.

Buffy gaped at him. Stay away? That was the last thing on her mind. His smile infuriated her and broke her heart. Did he really think she didn't want him around?

Before she could say anything, Dean's phone buzzed alerting him of a text from Sam. At the same time, he heard the car pull up outside.

"It's Sam." Dean leaned forward and kissed Buffy briefly on the lips. He had wanted to say more, but his words kept dying in his throat.

She stopped him at the door. She touched his cheek and kissed him, hoping to pour all of her feelings into that kiss. Gradually her hand move to the back of his neck, her other hand gripped his jacket tightly. When she pulled back, they were both breathless. "Come back tomorrow," she whispered. "Please give me one more perfect day." As she shut the door, she knew she was falling for him again.

****#*#*#*#** **

In the Impala, Sam handed Dean his phone. "It's Bobby. He wants to talk to you."

Dean gave his brother a confused look, because if Bobby had wanted to talk, why hadn't he called Dean's phone. "Hey, Bobby. What's going on?"

Sam had told Bobby everything that had happened the day before, meeting Buffy and Danny and Dean's reaction yesterday versus his reaction today.

"Son, it's time we had a little talk."

For the next several minutes, Dean listened and was only allowed to say a few words. When he finally hung up, Dean glared at his brother.

"What?" Sam asked innocently. "Someone had to talk some sense into you."

* * *

The next day, Dean tried to get Sam to join them, but Sam refused saying he didn't want to crowd them.

When Dean pulled up to Buffy's house she and Danny were playing in the yard. Buffy froze staring at the car. She trembled when Dean's door creaked as he opened it.

"Dean!" Danny yelled running to him for a tackle/hug.

Dean scooped him up and spun him around making him laugh.

Buffy's breathing became rapid as she approached the car and ran a hand along the fender. "It's the same car. I love this car," she murmured. Dazed, she blinked up at Dean. "You still have the car."

Dean looked at her as if it were obvious. "Why would I get rid of the car?"

His reply snapped her from her thoughts. "I thought it was destroyed or did I dream that?"

Dean smiled proudly. "I rebuilt her. I'd never let this car go."

Buffy smiled fondly at the car and then at him. "Good." She looked admiringly at the car again. "Unless you're going to give it to me. But that's the only acceptable alternative."

Dean chuckled at her response, but Danny pulled his hand. "Come on. Now we can have a real game. You ever play baseball?"

* * *

Later, Dean was putting Danny down for his nap and Buffy knew what that meant. She braced herself for the good-bye and worried about what to tell Danny.

When the moment came, she still wasn't ready. She was in her kitchen, trying to keep busy, distracting herself by baking cookies. She would use them later, to smooth over the news of Dean's leaving when she told Danny.

"I've finally got Danny to go to sleep," Dean said when he joined her in the kitchen. "I only had to read four books."

Dean saw her silent struggle over her emotions, and asked, "You okay?"

Buffy shrugged and tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"You know I don't want to leave," Dean said quietly.

"I know," she whispered. "You'll come back, right? I mean, sometime, if you want, you'll come back." She barely looked at him as she spoke.

"No, that's not what I want." Her sad expression told Dean that she hadn't understood him. "Buffy, I want to stay. I know it's too soon to be Ward, June and the Beav, but I want to be _something_."

Buffy stopped what she was doing and stared at him in shock and disbelief. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying?

"I'm not looking to move in here, but I'm sure I can find a place nearby. At least until we're ready for whatever comes next."

"You'll really – what about Sam?" Buffy wasn't ready to get her hopes up.

"Sam's got the demon after him. He's going to need all the help he can get. Who better to do that than my badass Slayer and her slayerettes?"

Buffy's smile grew brighter. She felt like she was finally able to breathe again. "We can do that. Ridding the world of demons is kind of our specialty."

Relieved, Dean smiled and walked over to her. Seeing all the ingredients on the counter Dean asked, "What is all this?"

"I'm making cookies," she replied a little breathlessly as Dean got closer.

He reached around her and took a finger-full of dough from the bowl. Sucking his finger clean he said, "Mmm, tastes good. These another 'specialty'?"

Unable to speak, Buffy nodded as she watched him lick the dough from his finger. _I shouldn't find that so sexy_ , she told herself.

Dean leaned closer, his body pinning hers against the counter, and wrapped an arm around her as he stole more dough, this time having her take it off his finger. Electricity shot through Dean as she licked his finger.

"How long does Danny usually sleep?" His voice a husky whisper, his eyes on her lips.

"Two hours," Buffy answered feeling her heart begin to race.

Dean shoved the bowl and ingredients to the side to set her on the counter top. He stood between her knees, resting his hands on her hips.

"Good, I want time to remind you of my 'specialties'." He kissed her slowly, like he had been starving for her and she responded the same way. Dean was the oxygen she needed to live.

He pulled her toward him, Buffy wrapped her legs around him, and he carried her to her bedroom. "Two hours doesn't seem like enough time," he said between kisses.

"Maybe tonight we can try for longer," Buffy suggested before kissing his neck, hoping to make him 'mmm' like he used to. He held her tighter and he rewarded her with the quiet moan she longed to hear.

He leaned back to look her in the eye. "Forever wouldn't be enough time with you."

 

If you enjoyed this, please go check out the [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt3_Q1QfAeU&list=FL4Z31-iSj6n0Giv3MDyFjZw) Lisa made for it.


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